Chapter Seven - The View From The Window
1566 Words
“Ten days to shift or she’ll be completely banished from all packs. This is not a wolf. This is an infectious monster and we’ll not be responsible for its spread.”
The guards take me away finally.
Drop me in a small room. I collapse.
It’s tiny - the room - with just one bed and a window. Empty. Just enough for a prisoner to delude themselves they’re waiting for freedom.
One of the guard tosses a gray dress my way. “Get dressed.”
The other chimes in, “All you’ll need will be provided for you.”
They turn almost simultaneously. Close the door behind them. Lock it from outside.
As their footsteps retreat, reality dawns on me. I begin to feel the pains afresh. Alone. and it hurts even worse.
I pull myself against the door, slide down and cry.
“Why would you do this?” I talk into empty space. A letter to my wolf. “Why would you choose to embarrass me like this? After all this years.” A tear falls from my eyes. I’m whimpering.
“I always thought even when I failed, you’d be there to comfort me. To protect me. But now…now it’s just me. Against everybody. My own protector, silent.” I pause. “If you can hear me, say something.”
I listen.
No sound. No movement other than my lips.
I pull myself to the bed. Don’t bother making it. Just collapse and fold my legs into a curve. Shaking.
Day one. Day two. Day three.
I can barely keep count. Can’t keep count when your life now revolves around one room.
The days are the same. Silence in the morning. Food comes three times a day. I am allowed to move around the hallway down to the kitchen. Not below, not above. Just on the same floor. No straying.
I try to shift again.
Nothing.
Every time I feel close, she retreats. I don’t know what’s wrong.
Day four.
I’m standing by the small window that finally opened last night - staring into nothing - when I hear a knock on the door. Soft. Hesitant.
“Come in.”
The door opens.
Kael.
He looks like he’s not been himself since the ceremony. Lean. Dark eyes.
I turn to face the window upon registering its him.
“Luna, please, look at me.”
I don’t.
“I’m trying to fix this. My father…he’s willing to reconsider if you can just shift in private, just to show him that you’re stable now. That it was just stress. Then we can revisit the ceremony.”
I finally turn.
“Your father…”
“He’s the Alpha of the pack, Luna. He has to think of the pack’s image. Surely you understand that?”
“What about you? What do you think?” I finally lock eyes with him. “Do you ever have your own opinion, Kael? Or it’s always what he thinks?”
“That’s not fair, Luna. You don’t know the position I’m in.”
“What position?”
“If I defy him, I’ll loose everything. I’ll loose my position as heir, loose my status, loose…”
“STOP. I can only hear one thing. You’ll loose your father’s approval. That’s what this really is. You want him to look at you and say ‘good job, son.’”
His face tightens. “You don’t know what you’re saying. I want you to shift so we can move forward. This…”
“Get out.”
“Luna…”
“I said get out.”
“I’m only trying to help here.”
“GET OUT!”
His eyebrows go up at the shock of my tone. Even I did not see it coming.
He moves from the door. Takes one step towards me like he wants to argue.
Then he turns and leaves. Closes the door and signal the guards to lock it.
I stand there in pure fury. Rage like I’d never seen before.
Why me? What did I do to deserve all the shame? The humiliation. I shouldn’t have gone to the Autumn Gathering. Should have stayed home and made cookies. Or even recorded on SilverWhispers. At least I wouldn’t have met Kael.
The following day, a soft knock comes from the door. Gentler. Calmer.
“Luna? Baby, it’s Marren. Can I come in?”
“Yes.”
The door opens and Aunt Marren stands there with a tray in her hand. Real food. I can smell the fresh bread and something like soup all the way from where I’m standing.
She steps in, sets the tray down, pulls me into a fierce hug. Doesn’t say anything. Just pats my back slowly.
I whimper. Whimper even more. Then finally break.
Sob into her shoulder like a child. It’s the first real contact I’ve had with someone since the ceremony.
She strokes my hair gently. Backwards.
When the sobs finally slow down, she guides me gently to sit on the bed. Takes the plate from the tray and starts to feed me like a baby. The food tastes so good I didn’t even realize I was this hungry.
“You didn’t fail,” she says as I swallow the second scoop.
“I did, Aunty.”
“No. You did shift. Although partially, but you did. Under the worst possible conditions ever for a wolf to shift in. But she managed to come out.” She wipes a tear from my cheek. “Your most private thing was weaponized against you in front of hundreds of people. Your wolf woke up to humiliation and violation. She’s scared. She’s only protecting you by hiding.”
No one has ever put it that way.
Survival rather than failure.
“But I looked like a monster, Aunty. You saw it. Everybody did.”
“I saw a wolf trying to emerge under traumatic conditions. I saw your body trying to protect you while simultaneously trying to shift. That’s a conflict. Not a monster.” She feeds me more soup. “Your wolf was there, honey. She came out. That’s more progress than you’ve managed in the last twenty-three years.”
I want to believe her. But all I can see is replay of the screenshots. Disgusts from the crowd. The horror.
We sit there for a while. Comforting silence. She doesn’t speak much. Just allows the pain to go away.
After a while,she stands. Picks something from the tray. Something wrapped in cloth.
“Here, homemade cookies. This was your mom’s recipe. She used to make them when she was stressed. Said baking made her think. I wonder if her head was the oven.”
We burst into laughter.
A little relief amidst the sorrows.
I take one bite. It’s still warm. So sweet. So delicious.
I hurry three more. Aunt Marren watches with satisfaction and joy. She makes sure I finish the soup. Pours me water from a bottle she brought.
“Feel better?” She asks.
“Yes. Very much better now. Thank you, Aunty.”
“You’re welcome, honey. I will always be there for you. Remember that.” She stands, starts tidying her things.
Then she pauses. Like she just remembered something.
She reaches into the pocket of her gown. Brings out something antique. A silver pendant shaped like a wolf.
Hands it to me. “Your mother’s. She wore it everyday until she was too sick to put it on. Said it gave her strength to keep going. I’ve kept it safe all this while. Thought you might need it now.”
I touch the pendant. Feel the wolf shape. It’s the first real connection I’ve had with my mom.
I’m lost for words but I manage. “Thank you.”
“You’re stronger than you know, baby. You’ve survived what would have broken most wolves. You’re still here. Still fighting. Your mother would be proud.”
She starts gathering the tray.
“I have to leave before people start noticing how long I’ve been here.” She says it sadly. “Alpha Dominic wouldn’t be happy if he found out I’m visiting. But if you need anything, anything at all, send for me. I don’t care what Alpha Dominic says, you’re my sister’s daughter. That means everything to me.”
She hugs me one more time.
Then she’s gone.
I sit back on the bed, holding the pendant.
Five days left.
Five days to determine whether I’ll see the sixth day or die before then.
I try to shift.
She’s there but further away than yesterday.
I don’t think I’ll make it in time.
The following day I leave the room when the guard opens the door for my supposed free time. They had become a little carefree after the third day of total lockdown. These days, they allow me to walk - but just within the servant’s wing. And they lock it by 8pm.
I seize the opportunity. Make my way towards the window at the end of the hallway. Try to catch a glimpse of the outside world.
The window overlooks the training ground.
Wolves are busy - training, sparring, going about their lives like nothing happened.
Then I see him.
Kael.
Walking across the training ground with someone. They’re talking. I can’t hear them but I can see them.
That someone is Sienna.
- Writer
