These past 9 days have consisted of hair and make-up trails. Apparently, I have to look perfect for my mystery groom. Nothing can be left down to chance, I've been assured even the smallest of details have been catered for. Penny and I were treated to a very luxiourious and over due spa day curtesy of my dad, even though I'm sure it's because he can't stand any more death stares off me whilst passing in the house. And now the big day is here, I was up at the crack of dawn, sleep barely holding me captive as I tossed and turned most of the night, crippled with apprehension of the who's, what's and whys.
I slip on my dressing gown and pad quietly down to the kitchen to get 5 minutes peace with just me and my cup of coffee.
"Morning princess, you're up early."
My brother states with his back to me, seemingly egging the kettle on to boil quicker.
"Jee, I wonder why that is Nate, honestly please any information you can give would be a godsend about now."
I try one last ditch attempt to crack him.
"No can do, but here's your coffee, milk, no sugar just how you like it."
I breathe into the cup of brown nectar, thanking him as we both take the first sip of coffee in silence. I know we both have plenty to say it just seems like it's easier to say nothing at all. Clearly, both of our hands are tied. Nate just glances at me like he has something to say but rushes off upstairs with his coffee in tow.
I start to hear stirring up stairs, tell tail sign mum and Dad are on their way down, time to get this s**t show on the road.
"You're up early, sweetheart."
"So everyone keeps telling me dad."
I roll my eyes, showing my lack of enthusiasm.
"Oh, I remember the morning of our wedding day like it was yesterday."
Mum gushes as she swoons downstairs.
"Waking up with champagne and all my dearest girlfriends there with me, such a magical memory."
She continues, lost in the memory of her wedding morning.
"Speaking of which"
Dad using his familiar skill of dragging people out of their daydream as the door swings open.
"Here she is."
Dad turns to open the fridge.
"It's a nice day for a white wedding."
Penny sings as she walks into the open planned downstairs of our house. This feels so surreal, and this day has come far too quickly. I'm lost in my own head trying to fake an illness or a reason so I can be excused and possibly postpone the inevitable. But dad is sharp as a tack handing us all a glass of champagne.
"Jesus, dad, it's just gone 7am."
"We just want you to have a taste of a normal wedding morning honey, please I promise this will all work out in the end."
Mum tries to soothe me, whilst Penny rubs my arm, clearly feeling the anxiety rise.
"It's okay. I brought supplies,"
Penny winks at me, shaking her clutch bag, trying to hide the sloshing of liquid.
"Is it ..."
My eyes widen in excitement.
"You better believe it, but mum's the word."
Pen chuckles as she takes a seat in front of the TV, using the remote to put the Clubland TV channel on. We have a laugh and a dance in between sneaking swigs of tequila from the hidden flask.
The hair and make-up team arrives just before 8 am to get us pruned to perfection, whilst I'm sat there last to receive my beauty treatment being left alone to feel floaty with thanks to the liquid breakfast
"Honey, how are you having your hair ? did you decide on that beautiful roman updo from the trail ?"
"I think I just want it curly and down mum,"
"But the veil, Av's, you'll need something to hold the veil in."
Penny urges me to reconsider, the panic setting in her face.
" What if..."
Ayla the hair stylist, starts whilst tapping the comb on her hand.
"We use the top half of that updo with the plaits and pin curls and have looser curls on the bottom half, leaving it down ?"
"Perfect, sorted." Dad claps his hands, rushing upstairs to start his prepping for walking his only daughter to her fate.
The make-up I had no say with after my complete switch from the original plan with my hair. Then I'm assisted upstairs to be placed into my dress. I do a twirl viewing myself in the mirror, this would be a dream come true, if I had planned my wedding to a man who I had fallen deeply in love with, I can't help but feel a hint of sadness that it's all been stolen from me.
Time is creeping closer until the I do's, and my anxiety starts bubbling up, leaving my mouth feeling dry, a headache faintly knocking in the background, threatening to explode unless I calm myself down.
"You can do this Ava, you have no choice. It's too late to back out now."
I keep whispering this mantra as I float down the stairs to greet my wedding party.
My brother stands up to great me a mixture of awe and annoyance in his eyes.
"You look beautiful, princess,"
he says, using his usual nickname for me, as he leans in and pecks my cheek.
"Oooh, Bill, our baby, look at her."
mum sobs, as dad hands her a tissue from his pocket, already anticipating her reaction.
"Beautiful sweetheart, you make us so proud,"
Dad states clearly struggling with the display of affection.
"It's nearly time. The cars are outside. You look out of this world, Avs."
Penny hugs me and hands me my bridal bouquet, a mixture of white lilies and cherry blossoms.
"Thanks Pen, you look amazing."
I gush at her, and the way the sage satin dress dances over her body.
We snap a few photos in and outside the house before mum and Nate leave in their car. Leaving Dad, Penny, and I to the bridal car. No escaping my doom now.