SURVIVAL JOURNEY

¶Bolshie Girl¶

¶Aiyla's PoV¶

"You just do it. You force

yourself to get up. You force

yourself to put one foot

Before the other, and God

damn it, you refuse to let it

get to you. You fight. You cry.

You curse. Then you go

about your business of living.

That's how I've done it.

There's no other way."

- Elizabeth Taylor

********

After the death joke, I was adamant on changing myself; I became the girl I never ever thought would be in my life. The meek girl once my family knew turned into a rebellious girl; a bolshie, and everyone was surprised to see a big change in me.

With new obstinacy, I started my war against the family and I was persistent to win. I stood up with a strong force of willpower and determination; a determination to fight for my rights and for myself. This was not the life I dreamt of, this was not the way I pictured myself turning into a rebel and going against my family and turning myself into a reckless girl. I started acting like a girl who did not even give a damn about the world or what people would say about me or how they would criticize my behaviour. I was so much hurt that no one can even imagine, I was made this way and pushed into it. It's not like I decided to act like a rebel from my childhood. After trying multiple suicides and not being successful, this was the only way I found to protect myself.

But from all this woeful incident I learned one thing, that life is not as easy to live as we think and not everyone gets everything he or she wanted from life.

So much anger, frustration, rage and resentment started building inside me for my family for not being there for me when I needed them the most. I became a vexed girl and, once, a quiet girl turned into an aggressive person. I went on a path that I never thought of taking in my life; a path leading into my destruction.

I started fighting for my rights; I fought against that woman's abuse and raised my voice for every abuse she wreaked on me. Whenever she used to beat me, I gave my answer through a punch and she knew; she understood I was not going to remain silent anymore; that I was not the same meek girl she knew; she knew she had given birth to a devil now and had awakened my animal side.

Like I said in my previous chapter, somehow my father came to find out about this incident and called to have a conversation about this incident and I told him what had occurred but he told me I was wrong running away from home and did not believe me, but still I did not give up whenever she. He used to abuse me. I would call my father and tell him the details. After some time, my father came back home, so we had a discussion about what happened and what she had done to me and, you know what was surprising, she told my father to throw me out of the house and I was shocked when I heard that, but I told her this was my home. My father and my family and I had every right to be here and, because she is the second person here, she should be gone from our lives, but instead, my father did not even take any action against her behaviour except for the shouting he did and this was my last straw of tolerance.

I don't know why not even my own father decided not to take my side and not give justice to me. He just simply let go of this issue, like me being abused was normal, and treated me like I deserved it. This was so unfair and unjustified to me.

This made me only hate my father more and the good relationship we had was wrecked. Every now and then I started brawling with him, I stopped talking to him nicely. Every exertion that was blown my way turned me into a miff person.

I started hanging out with the wrong circle of friends, they started becoming my savage and a way to get out of that hell house. I started partying, drinking, smoking and taking weed, tablets and staying late at nights and not coming home was becoming more and more frequent for me and sometimes my brother or father had to come searching for me at my friend's place and somehow all this was affecting my family, because my family had to hear all the criticism about me from outside people. Everyone was surprised to see so vast a change in me. They never thought that I would turn into a heedless girl and everyone started questioning what was happening to me and what caused me to be, because everyone from outside knew me as a very good and gentle girl, but what answer would my family have given to them, when they knew somewhere why I was being a defiant and knew they were also in the wrong so they kept quiet and acted like nothing was erroneous and it was all me going against the world. It was a pun. Right they were all acting so well and I was again made the defaulter here.

There was also a time when I started bunking school and hanging out with my seniors smoking, drinking and going to places, but I never let these things affect my studies because somewhere deep down I knew education was important and, it was this education gonna help me further in my future. I was still the same fast studious girl, passing every exam and coming first or second.

I had fewer girlfriends and more boyfriends because the girls I was friends with did not want to get involved with an unruly girl like me. They were forbidden to be friends with me. Nevertheless, I had girlfriends who would help me in my studies and tried to guide me on the right path again and their family became my family somehow. They understood why I turned into a person that I was not.

I never liked what I had become. I usually hate myself while looking in the mirror. Somewhere deep down I knew I was inadequately incompetent, but I was also done being a good girl of the family. Look what I got being a good girl I used to say. Even though I did not like what I did or became, it was my only salvation going through the pain, hatred, rage, frustration I had in me. Half of my teenage life was spent on a dark path, but somewhere, I still had the determination to change my life as well and that determination helped me move on.

But in-between all this mayhem something beautiful happened in my life and I never expected that I would be so happy. There is a saying something good will always come to you if you have patience to wait and that's what happened to me. Something good had happened in my life and it was the happiest day of my life.

But do you think the abuse stopped? How do you think she took the right path in her life?

How do you think she made herself strong?

What do you think, what good happened in her life that she was happy?

Can you all guess and leave a comment for me at the end! Please, I want to know your view.