Unspoken Love [Completed ]

Chapter 3 [ END ]

Xiao Xuan POV

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That morning I woke up early and was surprised to see Yang Di lying beside me and the two of us without clothes on.

No need to ask, I can already guess what happened because I was drunk last night.

Since that night I was drunk and did something bastard to Yang Di .

Our relationship has changed. I no longer see Yang Di as a friend, or the younger brother of my deceased wife.

I see him more like as my lover now.

I am very grateful to Yang Di he has accompanied me from the beginning until now.

He never left me he is always there.

I think he's the reason I've been able to breathe since my wife died.

I never know how I feel about Yang Di , because for me nothing is more important to me than him being by my side

But the more days I realized he had shifted his sister's place in my heart.

‘I enjoy every moment of Yang Di’s existence in my life.

I am very happy to have Yang Di in my life.

I don't want to lose him.

On the same day, I did not go to work because of looking after Yang Di after do bastard things to him, I discovered his secret which he kept well through his diary.

I was so shocked

Yang Di had loved me for many years until today he still loves me.

I started reading sheet by sheet of his diary book.

Almost all the sheets he wrote about me.

Yang Di wrote on his diary :

1. How did he start falling in love with me? and day after day his love grew stronger towards me.

But he couldn't confess to me because he said I belonged to his sister.

2. He wanted when me and his sister on a date , to take him with us since because wanted to be with me while he could even though the results hurt him. ( me and his sister always act lovely dovey in front of him) His wish is hope that one day I could take him on a date.

3. He said he was tired of loving me. But seeing me happy with her sister was enough for him.

4.Since he fell in love with me he has never been happy even just once in his life.

My tears began to drip when I read this part.

Yang Di suffered a lot because he loved me, aren't him?.

5.I took her sister to vacation abroad. He wanted to come with us but he didn't dare because he afraid disturbing b me and his sister . So he hopes that one day he can go abroad with me.

6. He missed me when I was abroad. His world feels empty without me.

7. He wanted to kill his love towards me but no matter how hard he tried still he couldn't. Like his heart won't even listen to him.

8.Every time I went to see her sister, I would bring her flowers. Yang Di was very jealous. How he hopes that the person I give flowers to is him. Even though it sounds selfish but he can't help it since he loves me.

9. The day he feared the most had arrived , the day when I proposed his sister and I made him to help me. He cried in the corner with a wounded heart while me was too happy until forgetting him.

10. He said he was always in the same place waiting for me hoping that one day I could turn my back for him and say these three words to him '' I Love You ''.

I sat for a long time in his room, holding his diary book.

I cried very long

I cried over the suffering Yang Di had been through while loving me.

I'm such a bastard .

I've never realized his feelings.

Why Yang Di ?

Why you love someone like me?.

I cried until my eyes hurts .

From now on , I won't make Yang Di cry anymore because I want to return his love.

So I told him I would be responsible for what I did to him , It's not because I'm guilty but I want to look at him properly and grant his wishes come true one by one.

Starting from taking him on vacation abroad.

I can feel Yang Di is very happy when we are together and I also feel the same.

We live our lives like little lovers everyday.

Everything feels complete with Yang Di in my life.

Because I often went abroad with Yang Di without my son, it aroused my mother's suspicion.

She always asks what is my relationship with Yang Di .

I didn't plan to cover up since I had decided I want return Yang Di’s love

I’m honest with my mother.

She was very surprised and angry she did not accept our relationship and started arranged blind date for me.

I always refused, but one day my mother told me there's someone looked like my late wife at first I don't believe in her because I thought it was just her trick so I could appear on that blind date

And my mother was right when I met that woman she really look alike my late wife but I felt nothing

In my head and my heart is full of Yang Di now no one else.

I went straight to the point I told her that I already had someone to make her disapprove of this blind date and she replied also the same.

She joined this blind date because her parents always forced her .

Since we already have person we like, she advised us to pretend date to prevent our parents from managing more blind dates for us and I agreed because it's really annoying plus I don't want hurt Yang Di’s feelings.

We became close very quickly and I felt that it was time for me to make a promise to Yang Di and tie him beside me forever. I don't care if my mother will accept or not what I know I can't live without Yang Di

So I asked her to give me advice on how to propose to Yang Di.

Somehow I'm always nervous about everything related to Yang Di.

For one week we discussed my plan to propose to Yang Di, I want to make it perfect for Yang Di.

We also talk about getting married abroad since we can't get married at here.

I always lie to Yang Di if I come home late due to meetings with my clients so that he doesn't mess up my plans

When he slept I quietly measured his ring finger and I went to the jewellery shop order our rings and since it was custom made they said needed to wait at least 3 days to finish our rings.

That day Yang Di said he wanted to hangs out with his friends and I agreed.

Usually if Yang Di hangs out with his friends he will return late.

So I thought I could come back early and prepare my plans to propose to him

Before returning home I stopped by the jewelry shop to get our ring. and the next stop is the flower shop. today I will grant his 3 wishes at once.

Give him flowers, propose to him and say the three words he wants to hear from me.

And the last stop I went to meet that woman.

She gave me two tickets to fly to Switzerland, she said she had already arranged the hotel and place for me and Yang Di to get married , in short she had taken care of everything.

I’m so thankful to her

I promised her when she got married I would arrange the same for her and she just smiled at me and wished me good luck.

On the way back, my heart was beating fast and felt nervous but i don't stop smiling considering I might get married with Yang Di soon

When I arrived at the house, I saw Yang Di’s shoes were there. I wonder why Yang Di came home so early from hanging out with his friends.

I keep the ring that I didn't stop looking at , inside my pocket and hid the flowers behind.

Why did Yang Di come home so early? he might mess up my plans

'' Yang Di '' I walked to our main room but I did not find him.

'' Yang Di '' then towards his room he also not there.

And I went to kitchen still there's no shadow of Yang Di .

'' Where did he go? '' I scratching my head in confusion.

The bathroom at our main room I just remembered.

Maybe he's in the bathroom

I started walking into our main room again and wished Yang Di was there.

'' Yang Di '' I called in a voice that was not loud while heading to the bathroom.

I opened the bathroom door. It was strange the door was not locked.

And when I opened the door,

I dropped the flowers and knelt on the floor

I saw Yang Di lying there.

My body is shaking, my breath is not smooth ,my heart hurts, my eyes are wet

It looks like my soul has left my body.

I use my knees to approach Yang Di

and take his cold body into my arms.

'' Noooooooooo Yang Di noooooooo ''.

I hugged his cold body tighty and sobbing

My heart is broken.

'' Nooo Yang Di nooo please no... Wake up please , why you do this ? you can’t do this to me '' My tears flow quickly.

I feel like there is nothing left for me

I am sad and sadder.

I hope this is just a dream but why does this heart feel so painful and real?

I pressed my head against his head and kept calling out to him.

'' Yang Di , wake up I have something to tell you ''. I wish he could answer me.

Then I found Yang Di’s diary not far from him .

I took it and read what was written on the last page:

~ Xiao Xuan, I'm sorry for falling in love with you without asking your permission but I love you so much even though you can't see it. No matter how hard I try, I still can't reach you. I've been chasing you from behind for many years and now I'm tired and don't have the strength to chase you anymore. You have to take good care of yourself because from now on I won't be able to take care of you anymore I'm sorry

Each curves in to a bridge

Yet the destination is unreachable for me

Your arrival

Feels like the whistling of the wind

Missing you is like a bitter pill

So difficult to endure

Every minute, every second

I can't find it

I can't reach it

Your so called future happiness

I don't want it

Do you know that

If you understand me

In this second

I want to see

I am looking for

Your love

I would hold it tight

Guard it tight

Dare not let it slip away

Even just a bit

I wish you can see that.

(this phase from my favorite song)

My love for you ends along with my breath. Let's not meet again in next life , Xiao Xuan~

I stared at his lips and face which was pale and my tears fell on his face '' Yang Di, You don't want me anymore , aren’t you? ''.

'' You said you would wait for me in the same place hoping I will to turn around to looked at you then why don’t you keep waiting , now I had turned my back but you were not there anymore, what should I do? ''. It was so painful that I could barely breathe

'' You are the reason why I can breathe and now you are leaving me alone in this world ? What should I do ?`` now there's really nothing left for me.

When I said I can't live without Yang Di and I really meant it.

Then I saw the fruit knife that was still in Yang Di's hand, I took it and I held the knife in my hand

Before that I took our ring from my pocket and I slowly put it on Yang Di 's ring finger and the other one I wore on my ring finger.

I kissed his hand, his forehead, nose and lastly his lips for a moment , I smiled and whisper to him:

'' I Love You Yang Di , I'm sorry but now I won't let you wait anymore and you will not be alone from now on , you can’t run away from me ''.

The End

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''Sometimes not everything you see with your eyes is the reality sometimes you just need to ask in order to find the answers '' - Unspoken Love