Crushing on my brother's best friend

Chapter thirteen - I wish we were that close

Rosie's POV:

There is one thing I love more than anything else. That is my best friend, Austin. I feel like we became even closer during this month. I thought that was impossible. He does so many things for me. I will never be able to show how thankful I am. I have no idea why he does all of this, but I appreciate it. Last night I couldn't sleep again, but I didn't tell him. It was enough that he invited me into his room twice. I don't want it to look like I am taking advantage of him. The thing is that I have the feeling something horrible will happen. Maybe I am wrong, but it's like an instinct. Well, it better not be with him. I will go through everything, but I can't let something happen to him. I am the person who you see thanks to him. He has helped me a lot through the years. For the past three days, Jessie hasn't bothered me. That is strange. Probably, this is why I feel like that. Maybe she is planning something. I don't want to think about it, but I'm scared. This girl is unpredictable. One thing I noticed is that one of the boys from the team started smiling at me more often. I don't want to get in trouble for that. As I have said, I'm not interested in anyone. If something happens because of him, I will show him who I am. It's not like I will do something. The thing is that I can't. In other words, in my head, I am good. When it comes to reality, my mouth is closed. I can't say anything to defend myself. That's why I try to ignore everyone. It's better if I am invisible. The good news is that I have a perfect best friend. Austin has told me to go out more with people my age. Well, I don't want to do it. I feel good when we are together. He is the only friend I need right now. I hope that no one will try to ruin our friendship. Otherwise, they have to see my dark side. They won't like it.

It's another school day. I wish I could graduate sooner. I don't want to go to school anymore. The thing is that I can't get rid of this feeling. Maybe it won't happen today, but I'm sure it will. Soon. I think I have to tell Austin about this. He is the one who can help me. The problem is that I always run up to him when I don't know what to do. He has other things to worry about than being with me. This time, I have to deal with this alone.

I woke up and went to get ready for the day. Today I will wear a hoodie and jeans. It's not like the hood can make me invisible, no matter what I wish about it. Later, I went into the bathroom. Every day, I look at myself in the mirror and try to find something I like. I guess that will never happen. I have wanted to do it for a long time, but I don't think I can. People's opinions don't matter about me, but they make me insecure about myself. When I was ready, I walked downstairs for breakfast. Austin was putting the food on the table. I didn't say anything and sat down.

- Good morning. How are you today?

- Oh, I'm fine. Thanks.

- Something tells me that you have a problem. Will you share it with me?

- I don't know what you're talking about. I don't have a problem at all.

- Are you sure? Your eyes tell me other.

- Positive.

- Then why are you nervous?

- No, I'm not.

- Rosie, cut off the act, please. I know you better than anyone else, and I can tell when something is wrong with you. You can spill the tea.

- Ok, ok. Please don't freak out.

- You are scaring me now.

- It's nothing horrible. The thing is that I have this weird feeling.

- What is that feeling?

- I feel like something terrible will happen soon. I don't know when, but it doesn't give me peace.

- I think you are worrying too much. Nothing will happen. I promise you. Everything will be fine.

- Then why do I feel like that?

- Maybe it's because of everything that has happened lately.

- Can I tell you something?

- Sure. What is it?

- Jessie hasn't bothered me for the last couple of days. I'm afraid she might do something.

- To you.

- I hope so.

- What?

- She better do it on me than you.

- I will never let this happen. Maybe she gave up. Honestly, that was a waste of time for her.

- I still believe she plans something.

- Relax and enjoy your day. That is all you need.

- I will try, but it won't be easy.

- If everything had been easy, your life would've been boring.

- That's true, too.

After breakfast, Austin took me to school. I wish he could come with me, but his time has passed. He is not a high school student anymore. I walked in and went to my locker. There I keep some stuff that I need for my class. I looked around to make sure Jessie wasn't there. Sadly, that wasn't true. She was talking with the boys from the football team. At least she is not doing anything to me. That is the scariest part. I pulled on my phone and pretended to look at something interesting. Then, I noticed a shadow.

- Hey. - Jake said

I looked around to see if there were people near me. Surprisingly, there was no one. Since I came to the school, this guy has never talked with me.

- I am talking to you.

- Why? You have never done it before.

- Because I want to be nice to you. Is it that bad?

- No, but I am surprised.

- We have English today. You can sit with me if you want.

- Thanks, but I'm always on the front row.

- Do you accept new people?

- Can I know what you want? Since I moved here, you have never talked with me. Why are you doing it now?

- You are making it look like I'm doing a crime.

- No, I don't trust you.

- No wonder why you don't have friends.

- Many things happened. You or anybody else didn't help me. If you believe this is an apology, it's not working.

- I believe I'll be late for class. Have fun being alone. - he said and left

Finally, he walked away. I tried to avoid him and everybody else until my lunch break. I only took today's fruit and walked back inside. It's nice of him, but I still don't trust him. I was looking at my phone when Jessie came.

- Can I help you?

- Just because I don't bother you doesn't mean you can talk with my friends.

- What? I have no idea what you are talking about.

- Jake.

- He came to me. As you can see, I made him go away.

- I don't care what you are doing but stay away from my friends. Otherwise, things will get horrible for you. Understood?

- Yes. I don't need your friends.

- Good. - she said and left

The rest of the school day I spent avoiding everyone. When it finished, I decided to go and see Josh. Hopefully, he will have some time for me. I have been to his office before, but he always came up with the excuse that he had to work. I guess I will never be Kylie. I walked there, and security let me in.

- Hey.

- Rosie? What are you doing here? You didn't tell me you would come.

- Do I have to do it? Can't I just come to visit you?

- You can, but you have to tell me. I have a lot of work.

- You always do. Whenever I come here, you never have time for me.

- Austin always does. You can go there.

- I know, but it's not the same. He is not you and will never be. I spend all this time with him only because you don't want to be with me. I might not be Kylie, but I deserve some attention too.

- Will you tell me what you want?

- I only wanted to talk. I see you don't want me to be here. I will go home.

- If you wait a few minutes, I will spend time with you. For what do you want us to talk?

- Nothing. Forget about it. I have homework to do.

- You can do it here.

- Thanks, but I don't want to bother you. Your work is more important. - I said and left

Like that, I walked home. I could've stayed there, but it was visible he didn't want me. The fact that he asked me what I wanted has proved everything. I don't mean anything to him. At least not the way I used to. It's better if I don't think about this.

I occupied my whole afternoon with my homework. I have nothing else to do. I mean, not until Austin comes home. Maybe we can go out tonight. I would love to have some fresh air. He will ask me ten thousand questions about what happened, but I don't mind. At least he cares about me and wants to know what is happening. I wanted to tell Josh about this feeling, but he wasn't interested in listening to me. I don't want to be the only one who puts effort into our relations. He has to do it too. I decided to take a nap to make the time pass faster. Soon, I felt something on my hair. He was my best friend's hand.

- I'm sorry. I didn't want to wake you up.

- It's ok. I can't sleep all day.

- How are you? How are you feeling? Something has happened.

- I went to see Josh today after school.

- What happened?

- Our conversation was five minutes. It was visible there was no point for me to continue.

- I'm sorry about that.

- It doesn't matter. Can we have dinner outside?

- Sure. Where do you want us to go?

- You can choose.

- Good. Let me change my clothes, and we can go.

- Thanks.

Austin and I walked outside. We are not doing something that interesting, but it's more than enough for me. I expected my best friend to start asking me questions. He didn't say anything. I noticed how he quickly grabbed my hand when we passed by a couple of boys. They were in front of a bar. Let's say that he has a sense of people. He can tell if they will do something good or not-so-good for you. That's how I survived most of the time. It's not like I am going outside that much.

After our short walk, we went to a fast-food restaurant. I ordered French fries and a burger. My best friend got a chicken sandwich and French fries with cheese on top of them. Now I wish mine had cheese. He swapped our fries and started eating.

- Why did you do that?

- Because I know you want the ones with cheese.

- No, I don't.

- I saw the way you looked at them.

- So? I want mine.

- Oops, sorry. They are mine now.

- Austin, give me my fries.

- Do you want us to argue about that? It's silly.

- No, I don't. That's why I want you to give them to me.

- Eat in silence.

- What?

- I can't hear you.

- Fine. I'll eat mine.

- Good girl.

We ate our dinner peacefully. I told him what had happened, and he smiled. So that was his plan. Austin didn't want to ask anything on purpose. That was unusual and made me spill the tea. Good job. He got what he wanted. I mean, I didn't have problems today. Except for what happened with Jessie, I didn't do anything else.

- What about that boy?

- I cut him off. He never talked to me, and now he started doing it out of nowhere.

- I know you have trust issues. You can't cut off every person who tries to talk to you.

- Why now? That's what they deserve.

- No, they don't. At least not all of them. I think you need to have friends your age.

- Like you do.

- Yes, I do. They might not be much, but at least I have them.

- Can we change the topic, please?

- Fine. I need to set you a date.

- Don't you dare! Otherwise, you will have problems with me. I will tell my dad.

- So what? He likes me. I can put my char on him.

- As if you have one.

- Of course, I do.

- Yeah, that's why you are still single.

- That was a personal decision.

- If you say so.

- You know it is.

- But I don't know why.

- That is personal.

- I thought we told each other everything.

- Yes, we do.

- Then why don't you want to tell me? I tell you what is happening to me every day.

- Why do you care so much? It's enough that my friends were bothering me about this.

- Ok, ok. I won't do anything to you. I won't talk about it.

- Thank you. Let's go for a walk.

- I won't mind.

Austin went to pay for the food, and we walked out. I don't know where we'll go, but I don't care. It's enough that he is with me. We passed by a couple of places. My best friend was in a protective mode during the whole walk. No one is interested in me. Well, it's not a lie that I can't defend myself. Around 10 pm, we were at home. I want the weekend to come faster. I need a break. Austin too. We can do something fun together.

- That is for today. You can plan what you want us to do during the weekend.

- For sure, I will. I want to do something fun.

- What will it be?

- I don't know yet. When I think about it, I will tell you. Is that ok for you?

- It's perfect. You better go to bed now. There is milk in the fridge in case something happens.

- Don't worry. I don't think I'll need it this time.

- I hope so. I'll leave you to sleep. Good night and sweet dreams.

- To you, too. - I said and walked into my room

This time, I fell asleep quickly. We do the same things all the time. That is what I need. Only my best friend knows what I need and me. That's why I am with him all the time. Even when I'm not talking, he will understand the problem. Josh will never do that. I wish we were that close. I would love to spend time with him. He is always busy. Kylie always accepts me when I see her, no matter that she has two kids. I will never be able to understand my brother. Something broke between us, but I don't know what. I hope that we can fix our relations like they used to be.