Half a Heart

Taken

I picked up my pace; following whatever it was in my chest that told me where the angel was in the crowd. Angels only come down to kill.  

He was ascending a parking garage stairwell with barely a nod toward gravity by propelling off of a stair every now and then, following a girl who looked barely over eighteen in human years. I couldn’t tell from this distance, but she had to be demon. The daylight worked in his advantage; I could barely see the golden light emanating from his skin as he disappeared into the garage. I ran, choosing the elevator knowing that I’d never have a prayer on the stairs as fast as they supernaturally were.  

Once the elevator opened to the top floor, the girl was rolling to her knees with the parked car next to her sporting a human sized dent.  

“What are you doing?” I screamed, looking to the golden man who looked blinding in the full view of the sun.  

“All will be well, human. Wait.” He spat out a bit of sunshine blood and moved toward the girl, who snarled at him with eyes as red as his blood should have been.  

“This city has a master. You cannot kill her without bringing him proof of her indiscretion, if she has committed one!” I ran over to him and when he turned his golden blue eyes on me, I grappled for control over his mind. He froze, and I knew that catching him off guard was the only reason I was able to hold his body to my will. His mind was still his own as he looked at my eyes, which would be different colors now and reveal my lineage.  

“Your highness—“ the girl’s voice was all panic as she too recognized me. 

“He’s going to break any second. Go to your prince and tell him he owes me a life. Preferably, mine.” I laughed, feeling the angel pounding against the mental barriers I was frantically building and re-building in his head.  

“He’ll kill me for leaving you.” She hesitated, and it cost me. I felt blood begin to pour from my nose and I whimpered against the pain of the angel’s full out mental assault. 

“The only way either of us lives is if you get Cole!” I shrieked, my knees giving out. I heard nothing more and I hoped she had the good sense to do as I had told her. I glared at the angel for a few more seconds before giving up. Angels had a certain sense of justice. He probably wouldn’t kill me.  

“What are you?” he demanded, yanking me up to him. He held me by my shoulders and my feet dangled off the ground.  

“If you throw me, I’ll probably die.” I sighed, bringing my hands up to rest on his chest. “Sorry about that but I’ve heard it doesn’t hurt.”  

I shivered against the pulse of power he threw out, feeling my own rise as a weak response. I looked at my hands against his pale blue button up and saw them shimmer with the moonlight. I looked into his eyes again and his brows frowned with confusion.  

“What are you?” he asked again, more softly this time.  

“A high-level demon is coming. I won’t hurt you, but he will.” I smiled, tasting blood in my mouth.  

He set me down, still searching my face for answers. He gently dabbed at the blood on my face with a handkerchief from his pocket and I realized a heartbeat too late that he was peaking inside the personal details of my mind before I shoved him out.  

“Now that’s not very gentlemanly of you.” I swatted his hand away.  

“I’m going to come speak to you later, Ariel.” The wind tousled his black hair and he frowned at a growl that came from behind us. He pulled back and dissolved into the wind.  

As I watched the angel dissolve, I felt my body be yanked back until I landed in a familiar set of arms. I was exhausted, but not enough to pass out. Though it would have been too cinematic.  

“I’m so f*****g mad at you right now.” Cole scooped me into his arms, and I felt the uncomfortable pulling sensation of a sneeze that just won’t come as he teleported us out of the open.  

“I fought a full ass angel to save one of yours. You should thank me.” I whispered into his ear and he dropped me onto his bed.  

“Stay here.” He snapped out of existence again and I flopped more fully on the familiar bed, looking at small chandelier twinkle in the sunlight.  

His room looked much the same since I’d last seen it two months ago; still obnoxiously clean and devoid of humanity. I rolled off the bed and shed my jacket and my blood-stained shirt as I walked into the bathroom. Blood was smeared on my face and I took a washcloth from the drawer to remedy the situation. I shivered in just my bra and leggings and stared at myself in the mirror, deciding how worn I looked. I took my hair out of a bun and shook out my blonde all around my shoulders. One eye was gold and the other its usual green. A sign that my anxiety was still in my blood, though I was desperately trying to hide it.  

I passed through the bedroom to his closet, thinking that some of my old stuff might be boxed up there. I told him I didn’t have room for it in my little one-bedroom apartment. Some of it might still be there, if he didn’t donate it or sell it already.  

The closet was unchanged. My stuff, not just in boxes, but hung up as if I’d left yesterday. I ran my hands over my things and the sentimentality mixed with the adrenaline pushed me right over the ledge. I sobbed, quiet little sobs, in the silence of the carpeted closet. Everything was still here.  

I must have been owed a mercy by the universe, because I managed to get myself together and pull on a sweater before Cole came back. I laid back down on the bed and felt altogether scoured by the day. He came into his room through the door and said nothing as I started to tear up again. He laid down behind me, pulling my hips back into his and I took the hand on my waist and used it as a pillow. He kissed my head and I cried harder. We laid like that for an hour before I had sufficiently calmed down enough to not be perceived as breakable, though I definitely still was.  

“That was suicidal.” He commented as I sat up.  

“It was dangerous. I don’t think he would have intentionally killed me.” 

“You are so f****d up.” 

“I save that girl’s life. You are very welcome.” I turned around to face him, frowning.  

“I’m not going to pretend I care about anyone but you.”  

“What did she do, anyway?” I dodged his comment with a question I had been pondering while I broke down. “To get an angel thrown at her?” 

Cole was quiet, his dark eyes shifting. He was deciding how much truth to give me, and I groaned.  

“You owe me some honesty, friend.” I rolled my eyes up to the ceiling.  

“I didn’t have time to ask her myself, so I doubt I have the full story. I just have what Dominic could pull from her mind in hysterics. She’s sedated now.” Cole watched me and I motioned for him to keep going. He leaned back into his pillows heavily and stayed silent.  

“Fine.” I snapped. “If you aren’t going to talk, then get out.”  

“Baby, just give me a second.” He scrubbed his face with his hands.  

I gave in, curling myself against his body with my head on his shoulder. I told myself it was because I had a shitty day and really, where else did I have to go? The angel would be no doubt digging up dirt on me from the little he pulled from my head. He’d probably find my apartment, soon enough. The minute I left Cole; it was open season.  

And I didn’t think he would hurt me, per se, but he would want something. I needed to know why he was after the girl before I walked into an interrogation with one of God’s soldiers. I didn’t know where I stood with the big guy these days. Especially considering my ties with the demon whose hands were just lifting my shirt, making circles on my skin with the pad of his thumb. Yes, I imagined my place was precarious at best. I was surprised the angel didn’t know that. I thought myself a little infamous up there. Maybe I was giving myself too much credit.  

“She seduced a priest and he killed himself.” His voice rumbled in his chest, under my ear.  

“But that’s too simple to be the whole truth, huh?” I asked.  

“Someone very wise told me that the truth is always simple.”  

“Doesn’t your mother also say the best lies are simple too?” I scoffed.  

“You should eat something.” Cole pivoted the discussion. His fingers were slowly pulling through my hair in a mesmerizing rhythm that lulled me.  

“I can’t stay. It’ll cause a stir.” I pushed myself up on my forearms to look at him. His face was carefully blank, though I could feel the frustration in his stare.  

“There is a rogue harbinger of heaven who gave you up without a fight. If that doesn’t scream unfinished business, I’m not sure what does.” He watched my face and I shifted guiltily before I could still myself. “What did he say to you?”  

“Cole, he wasn’t even mad. He just wanted to know what I was, which is kind of a fair question.”  

Angels don’t kill humans. Not once, not ever. Humans have blamed their own kills on angels, but from what I understand of the whole set up it isn’t allowed. No matter how unrepentant or evil they appear. Humans have souls. A creature with a soul cannot be killed without great cost.  

The jury is still out on whether or not I have one. My mother, a fallen angel, and my father, a human, made an inexplicable me. As far as we know, there aren’t many like me and both sides have a vested interest in keeping our existence as low profile as possible. Fallen angels are the most egregious creatures in existence to angels, even worse than demons. To have little half-breeds running around, flaunting the flagrant sin and dissolution of their kind, would be unbearable. Demons would have too much to fear from the unknown of a half-breed of the angel variety. Half-demons are always known to take after their demon parent and are generally considered to be without a soul upon birth, but me…Well, I have a fighting chance. I’m made of only good and things that can be made good. I’d like to believe I have a chance.  

“Your eyes only just started to match in the last few minutes. He definitely has a guess as to what you are.” 

“Does the girl know?” I asked.  

“She assumes you must still be siphoning off me. It’s fine.”  

The lie that most demons in L.A. believe; that Cole gives me some of his blood and therefore I am imbued with powers of a high demon as long as it’s in my system. He pays for my apartment in the city, not that most know that. My mom disowned me when she found out about him a year ago. She doesn’t know we broke up. He offered me a place and I took it because, I guess, I assumed we wouldn’t stay broken up forever.  

Looking at him, feeling like mush from the day and from two months missing him, I was impossibly aware of how much I still loved him. As I stared at him, he must have seen my train of thought veer off into the nostalgia.  

“I’ll kill her. If that would make you feel safe.” He whispered, looking from my eyes to my lips.  

“Cole, don’t be so feral.” I shook my head. 

“She put you in danger.”  

“I chased danger.” I cupped his face with my hand and Cole pulled my face down to his, kissing me and rolling so I was securely trapped underneath him.  

“Come home.” He told me again and again until I was dizzy. I kissed him back each time and said nothing, and I could tell my silence was maddening for him. The sun was setting outside the window and I was careful not to agree to anything as we fell back into a familiar scene. I did break when he told me he loved me. Of course, I did, so I figured the damage was done. I said it back.  

I woke up in the unmistakable dark of night with blackout curtains for a full stop impact of no ambient light. I clapped once and the lights came up pre-set lavender that I had insisted upon. My heart pinched, as he hadn’t even changed the lights in my absence.  

I showered in the low glow of the lights and made do with his small selection of shower products, smelling very unlike me after getting clean. I trotted back through the room to the closet and flipped on the light switch. Since Cole wasn’t in bed, he was probably up plotting or working or both. If he wasn’t home, he would have left me with a selection of trusted demon bodyguards that would take me too him if they knew what was good for them. I picked out a tried and true black sundress and a grey sweater to dress quickly and sit on the bed with my indecision.  

If I had a soul, I’d surely lose it if I stayed with Cole. He was good to me, but he wasn’t good for me. If I had one, well wasn’t that worth saving?  

We were both trying to find a way to find out, once and for all, if I had one. In the meantime, I’d asked for space. I hoped to find a way back to my mother, but I didn’t know what to say. She firmly believed I had a soul, and even if I didn’t that loving Cole was still no way to live. She couldn’t fathom that a demon could have a heart, even if they didn’t have a soul. Which was rather hypocritical, given her nature. Angels, even fallen ones, were rather holier than thou about everything.  

So, it was complicated. And two months later, it was still complicated. I was cracking, living a lonely existence with no real leads of my own to chase down.  

I rolled my phone in my hands and it occurred to me that an angel may know. He had mistaken me for a human. He might have down so because his attention was focused elsewhere, but he also may have simply sensed my soul and assumed. My mother, having fallen before I was born, had lost most of her angelic gifts. She did not have the sight, as she once had. A well-mannered demon could fool her if they did not get too close for too long. Demons are easier to spot though. They even make a human's hair raise in an instinctual fight or flight response. No one is really adapted to sense humans. Angels only have the sight because they aren’t allowed to hurt a soul.  

I knew I needed to talk to that angel again, but he was also twice as powerful as me and if he decided to inflict some godly justice, there wouldn’t be s**t for me to do about it. And Cole would be damn sure I didn’t go anywhere without a bodyguard any time soon. He was probably plotting how he would convince me to stay at his house for the foreseeable future in response to this perceived threat. Plus, I sent some deeply mixed signals by sleeping with him on the first day I had seen him after our hiatus.  

“Hello?” I called out into the hallway as I wandered through Cole’s house (honestly, it was more a mansion) to look for my babysitters.  

“Mistress.” Liliana curtsied after stepping out from the shadow of the hall.  

“Lily, don’t pick up with that again.” I rolled my eyes.  

“Don’t be so allergic to respect.” She laughed.  

“Where is he?” I shook my head.  

“At the club, being the big bad wolf and threatening to send minions back to hell if they don’t bring him a breathing angel to question.” She fell into step beside me as I continued toward the main hall.  

“Can you take me to him?” I asked.  

“He would really prefer to wait for him here, ma’am.” Reid appeared from another shadow.  

“Transit isn’t safe when we aren’t sure what we are dealing with.” Eli formed from another shadow.  

“Did he leave me with a battalion?” I rolled my eyes again.  

“Another twenty on top of the usual ten patrolling the estate. Plus us, your usual basketball team.” Annie morphed from yet another shadow.  

“So he anticipated I wouldn’t stay put.” I crossed my arms. “He wouldn’t have left those numbers if I were staying in the fortress.”  

“Stay in tonight, Ariel. Make our lives easy.” Reid leaned against the front doors in a calculated stance. These five were a part of the inner circle and they knew what I could do.  

“Easy? Who made you soft, Reid?” I challenged but wondered if I should win myself some good will by backing down. Then again, I wasn’t sure if it would be suspicious if I did back down.  

“You might cause something of a stir if you show up at the club tonight. Demons will wonder what it all means.” Annie appealed.  

“I imagine my involvement is already known?” Their quick glances between themselves had me clarifying. “Involvement with the angel incident?”  

“His highness is keeping it on a need-to-know basis. The interaction is difficult to explain for a multitude of reasons, ya know?” Lily chirped.  

“His highness is trying to keep me on a need-to-know basis, and I think he greatly underappreciates what it is I need to know. So, how about one of the battalions pulls up the car?” I locked eyes with Lily and easily grasped her mind. Demons only understand possession, but influence is so much harder to fight. I’m told I sound like their own voice in their head.  

Lily immediately grabbed Reid and tried to incapacitate him. He saw her coming though, and they began to grapple with one another. I looked up at the remaining three guards with challenge in my eyes.  

“Stop being a brat on your first day back. We will take you.” Annie opened the front door and I released my hold on Lily.  

“It is seriously so freaky how you do that. Honestly, a little unethical for an angel, if you ask me.” Lily let Reid help her up, and then brushed herself off.  

“Watch your mouth.” Eli hissed at her in response to “angel”. She really was being quite cavalier.  

“Shall we?” I sighed, ignoring the turbulence of the room as Annie radioed for a car to be brought up. The night air was warm in March, but windy. I watched the headlights of an SUV come over the hill and up the cobblestone driveway. Looking around at the gated, guarded entrance and the sprawling estate, I was again washed with guilt over how this money was made. A couple centuries of a family that spat in the face of morality and toasted over it. Drugs, armed robbery, a few hits here and there. Cole was the connoisseur of sin and I was benefitting from it.  

All five of my bodyguards piled in to the SUV and I was annoyed at the excessive show of force. We also had an equally packed crew of bodyguards in an identical SUV in order to obfuscate our movement. All of this for a solitary angel that wasn’t even sent to dispatch me was another flag that Cole had to know more than he had let on. Angels didn’t show in force, only demons attacked in such a manner. This was a defense from his kind, and if that was true it made leaving more complicated.  

“Anything interesting happen since I’ve been gone?” I asked Eli, thinking he might be my most reasonable ally. Eli had always been supportive of my integration into the demonic. He thought I could incite a caution in Cole that he was naturally without, promoting strategy out of chaos.  

“With all due respect, we have amended instructions on how to best serve you.” Eli grunted.  

“What does that mean?” Though I had a pretty good idea of what it meant.  

“You are a guest of the prince. Guests have limitations you may not have previously experienced while we were in your service.” Reid diplomatically elaborated on the confines of my gilded cage.  

“And as a guest, I should be allowed to go home. Yes?” I tested a boundary.  

“You know the answer to that given the current security set up to take you 4 miles from a secure location to another rather secure location.” Reid shrugged from the driver’s seat.  

I didn’t ask any more questions. I bristled at my new designation of “guest”. They had amended orders. Cole had put restrictions on my movement and my knowledge, when I was still naked in his bed. I expected it, and I was still pissed off.  

The club was a display of indulgences. Beautiful creatures across the spectrum slinked around with drinks and danced on columns and in spectacular giant birdcages that hung like chandeliers. I tried not to feel the rush of power that came as the crowd noticed us and parted respectfully.  

We used the elevator and key access to rise to Cole’s office. No one stopped me as I strode past his own guards and slipped through the heavy wooden door where his private office opened up. They must have sent word and I was being allowed this constructed agency. The music was just a quiet thrum up here.  

“Hi lover.” Cole was leaning on his desk, a glass with brandy being rolled against the wood on the bottom rim. He looked tired and unsure.  

“Don’t do that.” I pleaded, walking forward to where he sat and setting the glass down, pushing his back against his chair and straddling his lap. “Don’t be unkind.”  

“Baby…” His was repentant, tangling his fingers in my hair, his other hand moving up my thigh and under my dress.  

“Are we only saying it when we are f*****g?” I whispered, kissing him indulgently before pulling back. “Say it. Please?”  

“Now who’s being unkind?” Cole groaned and I kissed him again. The attraction snapped against me, just being in the same room as him. It was something like a dam breaking, being around him again.  

“I love you.” I sighed. Cole lost some self-control at that, quickly picking me up and placing me on his desk. He reached in between my thighs and I bit at his lips.   

“I love you.” His voice was low, and he kissed me one last time, hard on the mouth. I hid my face in his shoulder, holding back what sounds I could. Cole was unrelenting and I felt my whole-body tense before shaking in release.  

I rested my face against his chest and focused on my breathing. Cole hugged me to him and let me recover. I felt vulnerable without the haze of lust fogging my perception. Guilt slipped down my tongue.  

“Sorry.” I offered. “I’m being pretty insatiable. It’s…inappropriate.”  

He stiffened, “Oh.” 

“I’m sorry.” I said again, because I didn’t know what else to do with the guilt and silence that had flooded the office.  

“Yeah.” Cole pulled away and I felt the immediate urge to sob again. I couldn’t believe the way my emotions were swinging like a fist.  

“Cole?” My voice broke.  

“You love me. You literally just f*****g said it.” His voice was low but he kept his back to me. Anger bubbled off of him.  

“I know.”  

“Are you just interested in making sure my misery remains as potent as when you left? It’s really f*****g cruel, Ariel.”  

“Cole, come here.” I couldn’t stand the way his words reverberated hurt. I couldn’t stand knowing how inexcusable my actions were. What was worse was that I knew I still needed time.  

“Is that an order, Angel?” his brown eyes challenging.  

“It’s never an order. Always a request.” I tried to smile and gave up as soon as the corners of my mouth lifted, choosing to bury my face in my hands.  

Cole leaned against the desk, next to me. I felt him lay the back of his hand on my thigh and I dropped one hand into his.  

“I need to know what happened on that roof.”  

The shift of subject made me turn my face to look at his profile. He slowly turned his eyes to meet mine and looked serious.  

“I told you everything.” I frowned.  

“He isn’t looking for you. Which doesn’t make sense, given that you said he didn’t know what or who you were. Angels don’t know they have half-breeds. He should be tearing this city apart to talk to you.” He continued to watch me, and I pretended to be thinking very hard about the memory to avoid cringing at the comment about the angel knowing who I was. He had managed to get that from me before disappearing.  

“Cole, he might have just thought I was a trickster. That would make more sense to him than the truth, right?” I turned my face back to his full scrutiny.  

“No demon can control a mind without full body possession. Nothing could explain your power to him, besides the truth.” He said, looking rather like he wasn’t buying my performance, but he always acted like that to see if anything shook out.  

“I don’t know. Honestly, the only person who might be able to guess his M.O. is my mom and that would require an in-person visit.” I suggested, both of us knowing that meant I’d have to go alone. She wouldn’t talk to me if she sensed a demon within the town’s limits.  

“Angel, you know I can’t let you go anywhere right now.”  

“Cole, I still need space.” I leaned my head on his shoulder so I wouldn’t have to keep his intense eye contact.  

“You can have the bedroom.”  

“Cole…”  

“This isn’t me trying to force you back home. He could kill you if he knows what you are. He almost certainly will if he knows what you are to me.”  

A knock on the door made me jump up right. I moved away from Cole and went to sit on his brown leather couch, as if the distance would prove something. He watched me move and I didn’t miss the way he locked away his emotions. His features were stone.  

“What?” he said by way of beckoning the messenger in.  

“Your highness, somehow word got around about that…” Reid paused, searching for the right words. “They know she’s here. They want to see her.”  

Rumors of our breakup had perfumed the air and my disappearance from Cole’s side had confirmed it. He had worked very hard for the last three years to make me something of a princess in the eyes of his dominion. Demons had unions, but not marriages. This usually involved a sacrifice and f*****g on the blood alter, so it was entirely out of the question from my perspective. Cole had simply started referring to me as if I was his wife and it had stuck. In some way, I think it was the label that really caused the breakup. To be someone’s wife felt so...permanent.  

“They’ll burn the place down if I don’t go.” I stood up again.  

“I’ll gladly remind them of the compulsory respect they should already understand.” Cole spat. “You can’t go out there.” 

“You made me their princess.” I reasoned. “Just a quick appearance could only help.”  

Cole fumed but allowed me to take his hand and pull him out of his office. I started to pull off my sweater, as I was too conservative for a nightclub, and Cole tugged it back down. I raised my eyebrow and he kissed my cheek before moving his mouth to my ear.  

“You skin is still glowing from me. The crowd will think it’s the lights if you keep most of yourself covered.”  

I shivered against his breath and looked down at our joined hands. Sure enough, a dim moonlight was shifting under my skin. Adrenaline, of any kind, made me body react like this.  

“Are my eyes…?” I whispered.  

“No.” He confirmed before we stepped in the elevator.  

My bodyguard squad squished into the elevator with us. I could hear the chanting above the roar of the music as we lowered through the levels. We stopped at the third floor and I got off, pushing Cole back in.  

“Go to the bottom floor. I’m going to crowd surf. You know, give them a real show for the wait.” I smiled.  

“Ariel...”  he rolled his eyes, but he motioned for two of the team to stay with him in the elevator. There wasn’t much to complain about in his club. It was, arguably, more secure than his home. This population had a vested interest in what happened to my life. Cole had enforced and incentivized that.  

The club was packed, the demons and humans and half-breeds chanted “Princess” over and over again. I felt electric as I stepped to the edge of the balcony and they began to scream in excitement. I climbed over the ledge and sat on the railing, blowing a few kisses just to really ham it up. They screamed louder and Annie and Eli had to actively throw demons back into the crowd as they began to climb up to me. From the gap in the crowd, I saw Cole make his way to approximately where I would drop.  

I knew something changed when I felt cold hands on my arms and my vision went black, no longer feelings the cold fingers and instead feeling like I was being dunked in arctic water. I panicked, grabbing at the solid ice that was available to me and gasping for air that was also so cold it stung my lungs. The crowd was no longer there, but there was wind in my ears that let me know I could still hear. Someone had their arms banded around me and I knew it wasn’t Cole.