A Hidden Truth

The Deal

[Juniper]

I couldn’t believe someone else saw Hank and me. And, of course, it was my new imaginary boyfriend. Clayton never saw and I liked the separation of my two worlds. All night I prayed for God to strike me down. Especially when Jaxon and Teddy tried to get me to leave. I couldn’t go. Teddy knew that. Not with the power Hank had in town.

He’d approached me the summer after I turned fifteen and started trying to feel me up. If we were alone in a room, he would start rubbing himself. One night, he came into my room as I was getting out of the shower and pinned me to the wall. Hank accused me of shaking my tail at him and touched me everywhere.

I know a lot of girls would’ve frozen or cried. I wanted to, but I wasn’t soft enough. I ordered him to stop, like that would work. Hank told me I had to do him or he would toss my family out on the street.

There was nothing to stop him from doing that after. I asked him what would happen if I did it. He said I would be his to use until I left home and every time I came back, until I was married or he was dead.

I told him I’d taken a vow of chastity at church and I wouldn’t have s*x until I was married. He told me to pack my things. So, I did the only thing I could and grabbed him. I told him I’d like to remain a virgin until I was eighteen. That I wouldn’t give myself to anyone else until then. He said it wasn’t good enough. Brokering ‘the deal’ was my only option.

I offered to be compliant in anything else he wanted to do until then. As long as it only took place in private. He insisted I had to call him daddy and I countered that I wouldn’t be calling him daddy outside of those times. I added that he could only call me Juni or Juniper in our real life, but I didn’t care what he called me otherwise.

He was a business man at heart and it appealed to him. Especially, since I told him I’d report him for rape if he took me by force. Just the accusation would be enough to hurt him. When they saw proof, he wouldn’t live to see the sunrise the next day. The town had a history that ensured it.

Hank said he’d normally like these sorts of things in writing, but it could be incriminating and he wouldn’t risk it. I told him the deal was the deal and I would honor my end. He’d known me since I was eight, he knew I never made promises I didn’t intend to keep. I told him I’d report him if he went back on his end, or if he had s*x with anyone other than my mother and me.

It made me sick to have to say those words, but he agreed. We took time to outline things that were and were not acceptable and other rules. I had to act like I enjoyed everything. He had to be sober when he came to my room and never leave a mark on me that couldn’t be easily hidden. I wouldn’t use it as blackmail to get special permissions. He wouldn’t use it to deny me any reasonable request, like allowing me to go to sleepovers and having friends for a sleepover.

Teddy found out one night, when he was coming in from a club. He saw Hank enter my room, stood by the door, and listened. When Hank left Teddy came into my room, to confront me, and found me in the bathroom crying. He got me up and found I’d started cutting.

I needed some way to have control of my body, and it was worse because he wasn’t always hurting me. He was making me feel really good, too. I just wanted to make myself react in a way I wanted. It had been six months since it started.

Back then, Teddy was looking for work and trying to find a place. He’d been talking to Hank about letting him have the apartment over the garage. Teddy was a good man, no matter his eccentricities.

That night, I told him what happened. He wanted to kill Hank, but I stopped him. It would destroy our mother. I told him I’d gone over everything, and this was the best possible option until I could leave. Our family couldn’t be torn apart. Hank would never give us Remy. Teddy hadn’t thought of losing our baby brother. We couldn’t risk him growing up to be like his father.

After that, Teddy would come into my room and help me normalize so I wouldn’t hurt myself. He would distract our mother if he saw Hank forgetting the deal. Mostly, he made sure I had space to breathe. The high pressure of being my mother’s daughter was overwhelming, he would force more and more attention on himself. Not that he didn’t like having attention, he just preferred it on his terms.

***

I watched Jaxon and Bobbi drive away. He was going to try and save me. He thought I was interesting. I turned and hit Teddy in the arm.

“Ouch! b***h!” He hissed.

“Big nerdy hard-on? Seriously?” I smacked him again.

“That boy is so hot for you, steam’s comin’ outta his ears. He’s nice. Lotta guys would’ve seen that and run the other way or pretended they didn’t. He looked like he wanted to punch Hank.” Teddy said as he grasped my hand and we started walking back to the house.

“He was really sweet to me. I don’t want to go, Teddy. I don’t want to do that tonight.” I whispered.

“I know, baby-bug. You looked so strong, tellin’ Jaxon you could handle it. I’ll come see you tonight. Tomorrow, me and pretty boy will see if we can fix this. Just one more night. Then it won’t matter. I’m not lettin’ him. I’ll kill him. You can pretend you got no idea why. Just make sure to send money and some of your peanut butter cookies while I’m in prison.” He murmured, slipping his arm around my shoulder.

“Thank you, Teddy-bear. I can do it. I’ll just remember, it’s only one more night.” I sighed.

When we got back to the house, Kelsey and Twyla had finished cleaning up and left for the evening. Mother and Hank were giggling together in the living room. I gathered Remy up and took him to run a bath. He needed to get to bed soon or he’d be grumpy in the morning.

Once he was in bed, I read to him. He rarely made it very far. Remy had always been a good sleeper. I tucked his blankets up around him and went to my room.

I had some homework to do and wanted to get it finished in case the whole weekend went sideways. At least it wasn’t much, since we were in the last few weeks before final exams and graduation. It was so close. Soon, I could be free. Summer was always my favorite time… until a few years ago.