freedom taste like you

Chapter 26

Timothys POV♤

I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Ever since the moment Lydia and I shared the night I confronted her in the room, we’d been hanging around more, spending more time together than needed. We weren’t even back together. We just kept meeting up and spending time together.

I felt really bad for Amber. I avoided her any time I could. I mean, I waved from a distance when our eyes met, but I avoided her whenever she wanted to talk or something. Not because I didn’t want to talk to her anymore, but because I felt so bad for being with Lydia right after the whole cafeteria scene.

I’m sure she wasn’t too happy about it either. She’s probably already heard from Lydia herself that we were talking again.

It was evening, and I was working on an assignment when I thought of Amber again. I’d been thinking of her more than I’d been thinking of Lydia, which was shocking, but not like I was complaining or anything.

I decided to text Amber and try to apologise for everything.

So I texted her.

Me: Amber... I'm sorry. I know I've been distant lately. Can we talk tomorrow?

Immediately after I sent it, I dropped my phone face down, locking it and pretending I wasn’t waiting for her reply.

A long, boring assignment later, I heard a buzz. Excited, expecting Amber’s message, I checked, only to see Lydia’s name instead. I sighed. I still liked her, don’t get me wrong, but not the way I used to.

Lydia: Thinking of you. Wanna come over?

Me: Busy with assignment.

Lydia: You could just do them later.

Me: I think I’d rather just finish it up now.

She was typing… then stopped. No response came after. I was glad for that.

I know you’re probably wondering, if I don’t like her the way I used to, why am I still with her? That’s a question I don’t even know the answer to.

Once I was done with my assignment, I laid back on my bed. My roommate was barely around, so most times I had the room to myself. I took my phone and checked Amber’s chat again, no reply. I sighed. I deserved that.

Just as I was about to sleep, a text came in, and it was from her.

Amber: Sure.

That’s all she sent. And I could already imagine how sad and disappointed she might’ve looked. So I just sent another message with where and when we should meet, a small coffee shop near the school, not too far. She didn’t reply, but I was sure she saw it.

I put my phone down, turned off the lights, and thought about Amber one last time before sleep took over.

---

The next day, I was already at the coffee shop waiting for her. I came earlier because I needed to think about what exactly I wanted to tell her and how I’d start.

As I was lost in thought, the bell hanging at the door chimed, and that’s when I saw her. She walked in, looking so shy, just like she usually does. She spotted me immediately and smiled her usual soft smile, walking over to me.

“Hey,” I said softly.

“Hey,” she said back, taking a seat across from me.

I ordered a coffee for her since I already had mine, and we started talking about different things. Classes, professors, and basically how she was coping.

After a while, I knew I needed to apologize sooner or later, so I cleared my throat and looked up at her.

“Amber… I want to apologize. For being distant these past few days. I’ve been avoiding you and I shouldn’t have. I’ll do better, I promise.”

She nodded slowly. “I appreciate that. I just… didn’t know what was going on, and I didn’t want to push.”

I smiled faintly. “I know. I’ll make it right. I don’t want you feeling alone.”

She just smiled and nodded.

We continued talking, the conversation flowing a bit better, until it was interrupted by my phone buzzing sharply on the table. I had a feeling who it was, so I ignored it.

Then, after a while, it rang.

I hesitantly glanced at it. Lydia.

Sighing, I stood up as I answered it. “I need to take this,” I said softly to Amber as I walked a few steps away, phone pressed to my ear.

“Yeah?” I responded, waiting for a reply.

“Is this Timothy?” A strange voice replied, making me frown in worry.

“Um, yeah?” I said back. “Why are you answering Lydia’s phone?”

“This is the clinic at Oakshare University,” the person said. “Lydia had an accident and she’s currently with us. She asked us to call you since you’re the one she trusts, and right now, she could use somebody.”

“Alright, I’ll be there,” I said immediately, cutting the call and going back to meet Amber. She’s not going to be happy.

Getting to the table, I already felt like crap for cutting our meet-up short. “Amber… I’m sorry. I need to leave, something urgent came up,” I said sadly.

She offered to come with me, but I turned it down softly, for obvious reasons. I asked if she wanted to go back to school, but she decided to just stay at the coffee shop, which obviously worried me and made me feel bad, but I left anyway, making a mental note to check in on her.

—

The walk back was torturing. I was seriously questioning myself on why I was still hung up on Lydia, and why she still had a hold on me. I couldn’t understand it.

When I got to the clinic, it was bigger than I expected, big enough to have a reception. I went straight to the desk, asking for Lydia.

They showed me the room she was in, and I stood outside for a while, sighing and mentally preparing myself for whatever sight would greet me. Half-expecting her to be in bandages and whatnot.

But when I opened the door, what greeted me was the complete opposite. She was just there, laying on her back on the hospital bed, typing on her phone. She looked perfectly fine.

She noticed me as soon as I walked in and adjusted herself, smiling weakly. “Timothy, you came,” she said softly, sitting up fully now.

I shrugged and shoved my hands into my pockets, still studying her. “They said it was an accident,” I said flatly. “You seem fine,” I added, irritation lacing my tone, one I couldn’t help.

“Well, that hurts, Tim,” she said quietly. “I fainted while I was getting out of class. I hit my head in the process, so they had to rush me here.”

She explained what happened. I just nodded but still stood there, wondering why I was the one she called.

“Why me?” I asked after a while.

“What do you mean, why you?” she asked in disbelief, already sounding hurt.

“I mean… what are we even doing, Lydia?” I start.. but we got interrupted by a nurse coming in to check on her and give her some pills.

“I’ll wait outside,” I said, walking out despite the small protest Lydia was about to start.

I stood outside the room, trying to calm myself, then remembered Amber and immediately pulled out my phone to call her. I wondered if she had gone back to her dorm by now.

She picked up after one ring, which made me smile, it felt like she was expecting my call.

“Timothy?” she said, her usual soft and shy tone warming something in me.

“Amber… hey. I’m really sorry for leaving so suddenly. Are you back at your dorm?” I asked, hoping she was safe.

“Yeah… just got in. It’s okay,” she said softly. “Are you okay?” she asked immediately after.

She still cared — even after I hadn’t kept my promise to make it up to her. I felt even more like a bad person.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I was just checking to see if you got back yet,” I said quickly, trying to assure her and keep her mind at ease.

Just as I was about to ask if she’d eaten, maybe even offer to take her to dinner, Lydia interrupted.

“Timothy!” she called out from the room.

I was sure even Amber heard her over the phone, which made me guiltily end the call before she could ask questions.

“Amber… I have to go. I’ll call you later, I promise,” I said quickly, ending the call without giving her a chance to reply.

I walked back into the room, and there she was, sitting up, looking like her life was about to end.

“You called,” I said stiffly, not bothering to move closer.

“Do you hate me?” she asked softly, looking down while playing with her fingers. From that question, I could already tell she was tearing up.

“Lydia, you know I don’t,” I said softly, already caving into her usual tactics — if this was even a tactic, or if she was being serious right now.

“I know we’ve been talking and all, but you’re still distant and cold… and mean,” she said, her voice breaking with every word, making me feel awful. So I did what I’d been trying to prevent, i moved closer, sat on her bed facing her, then took her hand in mine and rubbed it softly. The feeling still gave me that turn in my stomach, the one I used to get anytime we held hands.

“I don’t hate you, Lydia,” I managed to say. “I just… it’s been days, weeks… and might I remind you, you broke up with me.”

“I know,” she said quickly. “How many times will I apologize? It was stupid of me, and we were going through a lot then.” She pressed further, holding my hand tighter.

I didn’t say anything. I just sighed. I didn’t know what to say.

“If you don’t want us to talk anymore, I can respect that,” she said slowly, retracting her hands. I don’t know what it was, maybe the sudden cold chill in my palms, but I took her hands back and held them again.

“No, no… just… please give me time,” I said softly.

She smiled and nodded, holding my hands too.

We talked for a short while before the nurse came in, saying she could be discharged but needed to rest and eat well.

I followed her back to her dorm to ensure she was safe. Standing outside her door, she turned to me.

“I miss us,” she said softly, looking up at me with those beautiful blue eyes I used to love, and looking at them now, I still did.

“Me too,” I said back, smiling softly.

“Now get in, I’ll check in on you later,” I added after a while, already stepping back.

She nodded and walked into her room. I turned and walked back to mine, locked in a silent battle with myself.

That night, I had no idea what became of us. But I knew we still very much loved each other.

I’m not sure it’s the same way I felt before, because now, even when I think of her, one person interrupts that thought.

And I’m glad she does.

One person who makes me smile when I think of her.

Amber.