The girl before she woke.

Vanquishing old demons.

Chapter2

The week went by a lot faster then I had anticipated it would.I didn't go anywhere even after my parents went out of their way to extend invitations. Honestly I just wasn't in the mood instead  I kept to myself arranging my room ( a few times, flow matters)  and painted . Painting calmed me and nothing made me feel more like myself than a blank canvas and a paint brush. With painting i was in control I determent the outcome. How the picture looked , it's colors even the emotion I wanted it to display. Unlike my life where everything seems upside down and constantly out of control. I took a deep breath remembering that i still hadn't spoke to Charlie about the instant and he was leaving tomorrow to go back to New Orleans. Which is where his college was located.The whole week I have been putting it off but now I can't anymore.Walking to my dresser I retrieve the sorry gift i had made for him.It was a bracelet with weaved threats of yellow , blue and green in the middle was a small silver plate with the word brother engraved on it. I had made myself a matching on but with the word sister engraved instead of brother.

Nervously I lift my hand shaking to the spare bedroom door, that where Charlie has been sleeping this week. I knock in an uneven beat of two times slowly then two times fast letting the nervous take over. Holding my breath I waited for an answer.

"Yeah?" His voice sounded sleepy , taking his weak response as an invite I marched straight in.

"Hi" I  Hesitated. "Can we please talk?"

 He seemed taken back by my question nodding his head casually. "Of course what's on your mind?"

He was in a half siting , half lying down position with his headphones hanging around his neck.He was busy listening to music I notice nonchalantly. The bed dipped under my weight as I took a seat on the edge. His piercing blue eyes watched me with curiosity. Not being able to hold it in any longer I hastily blurt out everything I had rehearsed the last couple of days.

" I'm sorry so so so sorry. Please you have to forgive me , I was confused about my feelings towards you and I did something completely idiotic and reckless. But what I know now is that what I feel for you is standard sibling love and I'm happy to have a brother like you. So please just please forgive me." I gasped for air not realizing I hadn't even attempt to take a breath of air throughout my entire speech.

Charlie suddenly burst out laughing. I watched stunned as tears started to stream down his face.

" What can possibly be that funny?" I demanded the feeling of irritation sweeping through me.

"Your so cute Rach getting all worked up over nothing." he exclaimed bursting out in another fit of laughs.

It wasn't amusing not in the slightest he has been distant and moody since that night and now he wants to sit here and act like it's all in my head. Hurt by his lack of sensitivity I shot up from the bed  and left the room slamming the door behind me. How dare he? that ... that ughhh! I was so confused and frustrated by his actions I couldn't even think straight. And using my nickname to soften the blow , what a d**k move I thought slamming my door shut behind me still filled with anger.

I lying on my bed staring at my sealing when a knock on the door disrupt my wallowing.

"Rach?" Charlie asked sounding unsure of himself.

I didn't answer but he still proceeded opening the door and coming inside.Clearly we both have a problem with asking permission  first before entering.I kept my eyes on the sealing as I felt the bed dip next to my feet.

"I'm sorry Rach, I know i basically just laughed you off and that was wrong. Umm.... it's just hard you know your my sister and you've been through so much at such a young age. And when you  kissed me I felt like such an ass I mean of course you would feel in-differ towards me.I knew I had hurt you when I just walked away but i didn't know how to dealt with something like that.Then I realized what a d**k I must have been to just leave you there and I felt so guilty I couldn't face you after that."

My heart ached he sounded so broken up about the whole thing. Tears started to pull in my eyes while I just lied there processing his words.

"So you... my voice was barely above a whisper but i needed to know.  "So you don't think I'm some psycho freak then?" I voiced my biggest fear.

"What? No Rach look at me please."

I shifted my eyes to him only because I could hear how desperate he sounded in his pleading. his blue eyes held so many emotions concern, pity and guilt there was something else but I couldn't put my finger on it.    "You are not a freak, it's normal for you to develop unfamiliar feelings towards me. After all I'm just a stranger in your mind.But I need you to know that if you ever have any questions about anything even though I'm at college you can always call and I'll answer."

"Please Rach  I mean it, call me for anything . I will be there for you always."

They way he said it i knew he meant every word but somehow it seemed like a promise for so much more than what he had mentioned. I nodded my head afraid that if i speak my voice would croak. Lifting myself into a seating position I capture my brother into my arm hugging him tight.Tears of relieve  was freely rolling down my face. I knew then and there two things for certain. One, I had already begun to see him as my brother and only my brother. And two , I was going to miss him dearly.

Charlie left for New Orleans the next day and I had almost forgot to give him his gift thanks to the commotion of yesterday.  He was already in the car about to start his journey when I came running out towards him with the little black box in my hand.Huffing and puffing trying to catch my breath I held it out towards him through his car window.

"What's this?" he asked examining the box in his hands.

I gave him a looked that screamed "Just open it!' and soon his fingers opened the little box to reveal the bracelet in side. I didn't have to guess whether he liked it or not because as soon as his eyes fell on it he exclaimed yelling "Thanks Rach it's brilliant." he didn't waste time immediately putting the band around his wrist. We said our goodbyes , mom and dad joined me as we waved him farewell A goofy smile was plastered on my lips as we watched his car disappear out of sight..