WARBRINGERS: Revenge and Revolution

INTERLUDE: THE DANCE

[SULIANA]

TUESDAY came once again and Suliana came not only with Gon and Mastaro but with their krill trader Baladin. Miram Julie talked to Baladin, said that Gon and Mastaro wanted to be traded in Hangyan. Miram Julie was courteous yet authoritative that Baladin could only say, “There are still a lot of krills anyway. Good riddance.”

Then Baladin went back to the krilldom with Gon and Mastaro. Suliana decided to stay.

“Baladin will do all the work now,” Miram Julie said. “He’d have to go to Hangyan to ask them if they’d take Gon and Mastaro as krills.”

“Oh,” Suliana said. She raised her cup of tea and sipped. “What if they refused?”

“They won’t,” Miram Julie said. “My husband told me that Hangyans like Cantatan krills. They know them as hardworking. And since only a few krills are brave enough to agree on a trade, they’d accept them for sure.”

“Oh. Okay,” Suliana said.

Miram Julie studied her. “We need to begin next Tuesday.”

“Magic?”

“Yes, amira,” Miram Julie said. “I will prepare everything we need to wake the power in you. But you need to prepare yourself.”

Suliana laughed nervously. “You make it sound like it would be as painful as childbirth, miram.”

“Because it would,” she said. “Maybe it’s even more painful than childbirth.”

Suliana gulped. She had to put the cup down so her teacher wouldn’t see her hand shaking. “Well, I said bring it on, didn’t I?” she said with a forced smile.

“Don’t worry. It will be worth it. I’d share to you everything I know.”

“Thank you, miram,” she said. “We would’ve done stupid things already by now if you didn’t help us.”

“I am happy to help you, Suliana,” Miram Julie said. “I want this, too. I want to overthrow King Doroteo, too. And aside from that… when you talk about Camia… she sounds so much like…” Miram Julie sighed. “Like me.”

“Really?” Suliana was now curious. She leaned towards her to ask, “How so?”

Miram Julie looked at her, then looked outside the window. She drummed her fingers on the table. “I’ve always been like that, Suliana. I’ve always wanted to defy the norms… to go against the current… I wonder…” For a brief moment, she thought pain got written all over Miram Julie’s face. It disappeared before she could even make sure it was there. “I wondered what changed me.”

“You changed?”

“I did.” Miram Julie said, laughed. “I changed a lot.”

And Miram Julie told Suliana everything that was not the same about her anymore.

***

Twenty-five years ago

MIRAM JULIE

JULIE couldn’t help but feel envious when she saw her amir Juliana gave a beautiful red dress to her sister Jasmine. Julie just sat there on the couch, as she looked at her sister sashaying in the living room wearing the dress. Amir Juliana looked at her sister with pride.

“It suits you,” Amir Juliana said, one hand above the chest.

“It’s pretty, amir,” Jasmine said. She spun, letting the skirt balloon with air.

It was a very pretty dress, indeed. It was red, the torso part was full of golden beads. It had short sleeves and had a very low neckline, almost exposing the top of her sister’s breasts. The skirt was attached to the bodice, it was long and wide, and as red as blood.

Amir Juliana ran her hands on Jasmine’s hair while they were both looking in the mirror in the living room. “You’d break a lot of hearts, amira.”

“Well, it’s your fault, amir,” Jasmine said. She was putting on a pearl necklace on her neck, smiling sweetly. “If you weren’t so pretty…”

“Did you also buy me a dress, amir?” Julie asked. She felt stupid just sitting there and looking at them.

Amir Juliana looked at her and smiled. “I didn’t,” she said. “But I bought you some books. It’s in the paper bag.”

Of course. Books. Not that she didn’t want that, she’s obsessed with books. She liked to read about almost anything, from physics to astrology, adventure stories, and love stories. But looking at her mother being so happy while seeing Jasmine in a dress… she wanted one, too.

But it doesn’t suit me, she reminded herself.

Jasmine got her looks from their mother. Her light-silver eyes, her naturally curly silver hair. Her skin was fair, her cheeks permanently stained red. Her lips had this cute cupid’s bow and when she smiles, dimples would appear on her cheeks.

Julie on the other hand, got her looks from their father. Her hair was straight, thin, and flat. Her nose too pointed it was almost like a bird’s beak. Her eyes dark silver, with bags under them because of the love of reading. Her teeth were all small and yellowish.

Julie wasn’t much of a looker. But she still wanted to wear a dress.

“Mario will die,” Jasmine said, then giggled. She was talking about her boyfriend.

“If he sees you wearing this, he’d be a fool not to ask your hand in marriage,” Amir Juliana said.

Both of them giggled. One thing Julie couldn’t understand about their relationship was their fondness for men. They talk as if getting noticed by a man was an honor. Julie never craved a man’s attention. She thought maybe she should. But she really couldn’t.

Not that they give attention to you anyway, she said to herself. It’s your sister they want. Whenever you walk in the market, it’s your sister they give their warmest smile. It’s your sister they greet and treat like she’s a princess. They always look stupid in front of your sister. They blush, they stutter, they get too flustered. As if they want her to see that they have something to prove.

“My daughter is so pretty,” Amir Juliana said. She was still running her hand on Jasmine’s thick hair. They were still looking at their reflection in the mirror.

Julie felt a familiar pain within her. She always knew that Juliana was her amir’s favorite. Whenever she comes home from the market, it was Jasmine’s name she’d call first. She was more interested in what’s happening in Jasmine’s life than hers. One time, when they were kids, she was playing with Jasmine on the fields, running around with other kids when she accidentally pushed Jasmine to the ground. Jasmine’s knee was scratched with a sharp rock and she bled. When they got home, Jasmine told Amir Juliana what happened. Amir Juliana spanked Julie until she cried.

“Thank you, amir,” Jasmine said. “I love it.”

“It loves you too,” Miram Juliana said. “Dresses love beautiful women.”

Julie saw how much Amir Juliana looked so proud of Jasmine that she realized she didn’t want to be just smart… she wanted to be beautiful as well.

***

“MARIO, do you have male friends you can introduce to Julie?”

Julie almost choked on the grilled chicken she was chewing when she heard Akir Sandro’s question. She looked at her akir, who was sitting at the head of the table. He was rubbing his stomach, with a beer in one hand.

“Akir!” Julie said. “Why are you asking that?”

“Why?” Akir Sandro said. “Mario is a nice guy. Maybe he’s friends with a lot of nice guys.”

“I don’t want a nice guy,” Julie said, her grasp of the fork tightened. “I don’t want any guy.” She even shook her head for emphasis.

“What? You don’t want to be alone in life amira, trust me,” said Akir Sandro. “You need a man.”

Julie tried her best not to snort. She opened her mouth to say something but Amir Juliana cut her off.

“She wants to be a miram,” Amir Juliana said.

“A miram?” Akir Sandro looked as if he was about to laugh. He slammed the glass of beer on the table. “Mirams die alone and they get eaten by their cats!”

“Eew,” Jasmine said. “Cats stink.”

“You know what, I know a man that would be perfect for Julie,” Mario said. He smiled at her. “Next Friday, there will be a dance in the courtyard of the castle. You should come, Julie. I’d introduce you to Julian. He’s the only one without an irog among my friends.”

“Is Julian that friend of yours with big ears?” Jasmine said, laughing and pointing at her ears. “The one without the front tooth, sweaty and has bad breath?” Jasmine giggled. “He’d be a perfect match to Julie.”

Jasmine gave her a glance, that teasing, insulting glance she would always give her. Julie knew she was mocking her, implying that she’s a perfect match to a guy who was obviously… unattractive. Mario tapped her on the arm as if to stop her from doing that. While their parents ignored how Jasmine made fun of her, Mario looked apologetically at her.

A twisted idea popped into Julie’s mind. She was on a bed with Mario, touching his parts he wouldn’t let anyone see. She positioned herself between his legs, then tasted him in her mouth, feeling every corner of him with her tongue. She imagined her sister seeing her in that position, and crying like a fool.

Julie tried to remove that nasty thought from her head. She wondered how she didn’t crave a man’s attention, but curious about a man’s body anyway.

“You should go to the dance, Julie,” her Akir Sandro said, his voice with finality. “You must go to the dance.”

“But--”

“You have a lot of fight in you, huh, amira?” said Akir Sandro. He raised his finger. “I am akir and you must follow me. Go to the dance and meet Mario’s friend.”

Jasmine giggled. Mario said, “Julian is okay.” Her mother didn’t say anything and kept on eating. Julie sighed and surrendered. She guessed she didn’t have a choice.

***

“YOU look beautiful,” Mario told Julie as she was coming down from the carriage in front of the big gate of the palace. Mario was waiting for them there. He took her hand and helped her get off the carriage.

“Thank you,” Julie said, but she didn’t smile.

Because she knew that Mario lied. She wasn’t beautiful. She wore a hand-me-down dress from Jasmine. It was orange and the color was so bright she looked like fruit. The sleeves were long and the skirt unruly. Do you know those romance stories in which the ugly duckling turned into a lovely swan? It didn’t happen to her. She was an ugly duckling turned into an ugly duckling but in an orange dress.

“You look gorgeous,” she heard Mario said, this time sounding sincere.

“Thank you,” Jasmine said, then giggled.

Julie almost rolled her eyes. She just looked at Mario’s friend standing in the corner, hands stuffed inside the pockets of his striped pants. He was Julian, probably. He wore a coat that didn’t hide his big body. His weight wasn’t the issue though, it was his grin and the way he looked at her. Like she was a disappointment. In fact, she saw him even shook his head.

“Julie…” said Mario. He went to his friend, put his arm on the big guy’s shoulder. “This is my friend, Julian.”

“Hello,” said Julian, nodded to her, then whispered something to Mario. Mario frowned and gave his friend a sharp look. Mario leaned and whispered something back to his friend. Julian rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Okay, fine,” Julian said. Then smiled at her. He extended his hand on her. “Let’s start the party, my lady.”

Julie looked at Julian, then smiled sweetly. “I can walk on my own. You don’t have to guide me especially that you look as if you’re about to collapse.”

Before anyone could even react, she batted her eyelashes exaggeratedly, rolled her eyes, then walked towards the gate of the castle.

***

AT THE DANCE, Julie decided to be alone. She ignored Julian a lot of times, that he gave up and tried to search for another girl to flirt with. Julie sat there by the table and just stuffed food in her mouth. She didn’t even look at that space in the courtyard of the castle that was used as a dance floor. Her sister was probably there dancing with her irog. Hell, Julian was probably there too, trying to grope his way to a flirtation. May his stinky ass get rejected.

“Not interested in dancing?” someone said.

She looked up in the direction of the voice. A woman was standing near her table, smiling at her. She wore a beautiful blue dress with white crystals on its skirt. The dress exposed her creamy white shoulders. Her eyes were charcoal gray, her lips as pink as roses.

“Not interested,” Julie said after swallowing the bread she was chewing.

“Me too,” the woman said. Then wrinkled her nose. “It smells sweaty there.”

Julie chuckled.

“Can I sit there?” She pointed to the chair in front of her with her lips.

“Sure, you can.”

The woman smiled and sat graciously on the chair, smoothed her skirt then extended her hand to her. “I am Zultana,” she said. “And you are?”

“Julie,” she said. And accepted her handshake. Julie felt how smooth and soft her hand was. It was warm, too. And it seemed as if she was teasing her because she didn’t pull her hand back. In fact, she even squeezed her hand then let it linger. “Your hands are nice,” Zultana said. “Makes me want to hold it all night long.”

Julie was surprised to feel something inside her she’d only feel when she’s in trouble. But this was different. This feeling was pleasant. But she couldn’t deny that it still happened.

Julie’s heart just skipped a beat.