Love So Far

Will Never Let you Go

It’s been 2 months since Krish broke up with me. Initially, I tried to contact him through phone but he wouldn’t answer then I tried through social media but he blocked me. I was at sixes and sevens; he didn’t give me a solid reason for our break up. I would often question myself what was wrong between us? I wanted him to explain to me what went wrong in our relationship. Most of the time, I would shut myself in the room and cuddle myself under the quilt and let my tears flow down.  

It was a fine Monday morning, everyone was busy with their works. Mom was busy in the kitchen; Dad was busy in getting ready for his office; Rags was busy in getting ready for her college and Aliya had already left for her school and Grandpa and Grandma also left for India a couple of weeks ago. But I was still in my bed looking at the bright sun which right above the huge mahogany tree. All of a sudden, there was a knock on the door.

“Come in,” I said in a husky voice.

Rags opened the door and sat in next to me. “Can I talk to you about something?” she asked hesitantly.

“Go on.”

“What happened Loo? You’re being so flaky, you’re not being you nowadays.”

“No. dhi, it’s not like that.” I tried to defend myself but in vain she was not ready to listen.

“No. You’re Looshin. You lock yourself in the room and show up only the time of dinner. That too on insisting.”

I kept quiet, and there was silence for a couple of minutes.

“Looshin, if you don’t want to tell me, then it’s okay. No problem. But you know that I don’t think you just as a sister instead you’re my best friend. So, if you need me then remember that I’ll be there for you.” She patted my head and was about to get up.

But I held her hand and looked into her eyes, “Please don’t go, dhi. There’s a boy named, Krish. And it started in my 12th grade.” The vision of Krish’s face came into my mind and also bought an unknowing smile on my face. The vision of a baby-like-face, who looked like I-am-lost-in-a-crowd-and-couldn’t-find-my-parents face. The thought of made me laugh but I couldn’t. And said everything to her.

“Hmm…” she remained silent for a moment before she spoke, “So, that’s what disturbing you?”

I remained silent as a tear rolled down on my cheeks.

“Oh! Baby, come here.” She gave me a warm hug. “Cry.”

“You know what, couples who fight often are likely stronger than couples who do not. Because it’s not the fighting that makes them stronger.” She held my hand and looked into my eyes, “It’s what takes place after the fighting; the making up. It’s realizing that your relationship is more important than your differences. It involves the acts of forgiveness and acceptance of one’s mistakes. When you’ll fight; you will learn something new about the person. That’s how it works. Real relationships aren’t perfect, and perfect relationships aren’t real.” She had a sardonic smile on her face, which she hid it instantly, “So go and talk to him, and make him understand that you still love and you still long for him.”

Her words bought a new kind of confidence in my heart which I lost after Krish broke up with me. She made me realize, where did I lack in our relationship.

“Dhi, can I get your car keys?” I asked her out of blue.

“That’s my girl.” she patted my back, happily and was about to hand over the keys but stopped in the mid-way, “but on a condition.” She raised an eyebrow, “DON’T. EVER. CALL. ME. DHI. Just call me Rags, babes.” She said as shoved her shoulder-length black hair behind her shoulder.

“Okay.” I rolled my eyes, “Rags.”

“Good girl, now take it.” She placed it in my palm, “Now get ready and snatch your boy back before anyone could.” She said as she winked.

I chuckled and went into my walk-in closet and nearly an hour of confusion, I decided to wear a green twist hem knot top, roll-up hem wide-leg corduroy shorts matched with bow décor ballet flats and let my hair flow over my shoulders. For the last time, I checked my reflection on the mirror, after dusting some powder and putting some lipstick.

As I hopped into the car, I dialled Neil’s number on my phone screen.

“Hello.” I heard a grave voice on the other end.

“Hello, Neil,” I said cautiously.

“Yeah, Looshin.” His voice seemed to be relaxed.

“Are you free?”

“Nah! I’m a little busy right now. What do you want?”

“Huh.” I hesitated, “Is Krish in your home? I just wanted to talk to him in person.”

There was complete silence for a couple of seconds, “Actually, he’s not living with us; he has rented an apartment.”

“Oh. Can you ping me his address? I want to see him in person.”

“Now?” he sounded awe.

“Yeah. Is there any problem?”

“No. No. He’s with me and we’re at his place.”

“Oh. Then ping me the location.”

“Okay.” He said and ended the call.

After a few minutes, there was a notification sound on my phone. With the help of the map, I reached the location. It was in Hayes, Middlesex.

Neil was standing outside a brow bricked building. I halted the car to stop and got down from the car.

“Hey.” I gave a hug.

“Hey, Loo.” He returned it, with a concern.

“Where’s he?” My voice sounded in anger.

“Up.” He sighed briefly, “In the first floor. Follow me.” He said and went up and entered the house. The living room seemed very crummy with shattered cigarette butts, half-eaten food on plates and beer bottles.

I followed him and we were in front of the ivory coloured door.

“Come, Let’s go in.” He was about to open the door.

“No.” I stopped him, “I’m going alone.”

“Listen, Looshin.” He was about to stop me.

“Neil. I. SAID. I'm. GOING. ALONE. Do you understand what that means?” I gritted my teeth.

“Okay.” He backed off as he was frightened.