Love So Far

Admitting

Next day was Sunday, so I got up late as usual. Grandma was cooking breakfast; I went to the kitchen and made coffee for me. As usual, Grandma scolded me for getting up late and I consoled her. I spent half of the day by spending some time on sss, watching TV and reading books. Then I felt damn boring being at home, so I called my friends but they all were busy at their houses. Later my mom called me and asked about my farewell and I told her everything, and of course not about Krish. Then cleaned my room and took a shower. That evening I thought of calling Krish but the sense of girl's ego stopped me from doing it; so I called Neil and asked him to come home. After some time, there was a knock on the door and I knew would be Neil. I opened the door and said to him to come in.

"What happened Loo? You are looking dull." He said as he sat beside me.

"Nothing yaar." I lied.

"Are you sure?" he incertitude on me.

I kept quiet for some time and leaned on his shoulder. He understood that some matter disturbed me. So he decided to take me somewhere out to relax my mind. We went to marine drive, the only place where Neil and I would go whenever we feel depressed and happy. I sat on one of the black rocks, folding my hands across my chest staring at the sea waves. Neil came towards me with two red bull tins.

"Here, have it." he gave me one.

"Thanks." I took one from him.

"So, tell me what is disturbing you?" he was looking straight.

"I don't know Neil, I'm feeling so disturbed nowadays," I said still staring at the sea waves.

"Huh huh..." he nodded.

"I never felt like this before, I can't concentrate on anything. I don't know what kind of feeling is this?"

"Loo, I think you are in love." He smiled.

"No, Neil." I refused even though I knew it.  

"Come on, Loo. Say me who's it."

"Neil, I said that there is nothing like what you are thinking." I could feel myself blushing.

"Oh! Looshin, you are blushing." He teased me.

"Shut up, Neil." I tried to not to blush.

"Okay, say me. Who is that lucky guy?" he wrapped his hand around my shoulder.

"You know him." I finally admitted as I can't hide anything from him.

"Really?" he widened his eyes.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Is he from our school?"

"Yeah"

"Hmm, at least now tell me, what's the first letter of his name?" he was eager to know his name.

I was not sure, how would he react after he comes to know that I have fallen for Krish. After we argued about Krish, we never talked about him again. So I was uncertain whether should I say or not to say. After much confusion in my mind, I decided to say him.

I gained courage and turned towards him. He was still looking at the sea waves.

"Neil?" I swallowed.

"Yeah" He turned towards me.

"I... I have..." my voice trembled.

"Loo, I know that you have a feeling for Krish, but you are afraid of how would I react on hearing this, right?" he was still looking at the waves hitting the black rocks.

I was silent for a moment, as well I was surprised too that, Neil had spoken out what I was thinking in my mind. "How... how do you know that?" once again my voice trembled, but this time it trembled in excitement but not in horror.

"Silly, I'm your best boyfriend and I know you since our childhood." He kept his hand on my head and shook my head slightly. "I noticed you, from the night on which you, I and Krish were doing group study. There was a little change in both of your behaviour towards each other from then. At first, you used to talk with him voluntarily and all of the sudden things changed after that night. Till then I smelled something fishy between both of you, but it was confirmed in Farewell party." He took a sip from his tin. "That's why I asked you last night that whether something was disturbing you? And I wanted you to spill the beans out."

"So, you don't have any objection, do you?" I wanted to confirm.

Neil is my well-wisher; he had sacrificed a lot for my sake. He always used to say that I fulfilled his desire of having a sister and he too fulfilled my desire of having a brother. We never hide anything from each other. If he dislikes Krish then I won't think about him ever. There's nothing more important in this world than Neil. 

"No silly. I was wrong about Krish. He is a good guy and he is lucky too, to get you." He looked at me.

"But Neil" I hesitated.

"What now?" he raised an eyebrow.

"I don't know is it the right time for all these things." I looked at the unopened red bull tin, which Neil gave me.

"So you haven't said him yet?" he raised an eyebrow.

I remained quiet and lowered my head.

"Call him," he said, as he looked at sea waves again.

"Are you kidding?" I frowned.

"Hey, I'm serious. Call him and say that you want to meet him." 

Moreover, I did as he said, I called Krish said him to meet me in the school's basketball court at 2'O clock in the afternoon because our school gate would always be open for sports players. Neil and I stayed there for some time and then we went home and had lunch together in Neil's home. When the hour hand stroked one, we left for school. When we reached school, his bike was there in the parking lot and luckily, there was no one in school that day. My heartbeat rose to the highest, and I was nervous. I could feel the raising of goosebumps on my hands. I held Neil's hand tightly.

"Loo, go." He tried to lose my grip.

"Should I have to do this, isn't there any other go?" my voice seemed hopeless.

"No, You have to go." He assured me.

I went to the basketball court and saw Krish sitting on a bench. He was wearing a light blue shirt and white jean and I was wearing a white striped print pencil Tank dress. When he saw me, he smiled and got up and came near me.

"Hai." He seemed nervous.

"Hai."

We stayed silent for a moment.

"I... I want to say you to something..." I broke the ice between us but my voice trembled. "...about the last night."

"Yeah, say." he sounded excited.

I took a deep breath, "I don't have any feeling for you." I lied in one breathe. 

"What?" he yelled as his eagerness turned into anger.

"I thought you as one of my friends, but you created such feelings on you."

"Don't lie. Looshin, even you too feel the same that I feel for you but you are refusing to admit." He gritted his teeth and came towards me.

"Why should I?" I stepped back as he came towards me.

"If you don't have any feelings then you could have said it in the phone itself. Why did you ask me to come here?" He held my shoulders and his eyes had anger and pain.

I remained silent. 

"I know; you love me but you are defying it. But I'll be waiting for you." He left my shoulders and stepped back.

"What do you know about me and what made you love me?" I wanted him to stay.

"I admit; that I don't know anything about you." he took a deep breath, "But it doesn't mean that love does come on knowing someone, it may come on the first sight of the person; who could make your heart beat fast; whom your eyes steal a glance of that person's face. There are many more things, which you do on seeing or thinking about that person. And I'm sure that you have stolen my heart without my concern." He smiled wryly.

"However, I'm neither in the mood of loving someone nor have feelings in my heart for someone."

"Damn it, why don't you understand my feelings?" he kicked the ground and turned away from me, which scared me to the hell. Then he turned back to me "Okay, then why didn't you backed off when I kissed you?" he shook his head.

I remained silent. I don't know what to say; I was caught red-handed. He was waiting for my answer. He held my shoulder once again and dragged me closer to him. 

"Look into my eyes and say that you don't have any feelings for me. If you did, then I'll let you go and I'll never come before you."

His dark brown eyes caught my mind and they were imaged in my heart. How can I lie that I don't any feelings for him? 

"I can't lie anymore, and I admit that I like you." At last, I admitted.

"I too like you, Loo. I'll be always for you." he came near me, took my hand, and hugged me.

My hands wrapped around his waist and I buried my face in his board chest. He took my face in his hands and his face came closer to mine. I can feel his breath on my face. I closed my eyes, his soft lips pressed gently on mine. I wanted that moment to freeze forever, but I was the first one to break the kiss.

"I'll promise; I'll never go away from you." He kissed my forehead.

I could feel myself blushing, while my hands were been wrapped around his waist. Then, suddenly I remembered that Neil was on the parking lot.

"I have to go." I pushed him.

"Why?" 

"Neil is waiting for me in the parking lot."

"He came with you?" he asked in surprise.

"Yeah, in fact, he was the one who told me to call you."

"I'll come with you." He took my hand.

When we went to the parking lot, Neil was sitting in the car. When he saw us, he got out of the car.

"Oh my! What am I seeing here?" he pretends to be shocked.

"shut up. Idiot." I rolled my eyes.

"Anyways, Congrats dude. If you dare to hurt her, then you'll see your death " He patted on Krish's shoulder and glared him.

"I know." Krish looked at me.

"Hmmm... Looshin, shall we move?" Neil looked at me.

"Yeah," I said and showed an eye sign to Neil to get inside the car first.

He chuckled as he sat inside the car.

"Okay bye, I have to go."

"Please, don't go." He held my hand.

"I have to go now, but I'll surely call you."

"Promise me." he raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, Krish; I'll call you," I promised and went near the car.

"Looshin." He called me.

"What now?" I smiled.

He was staring me for a while; "nothing." he shook his head.

While I got into the car and tilted my seat beat, Neil saw me and laughed.

"What?" I asked him.

"Nothing." He shook his head.

"Say me, Neil." I insisted on him.

"Hey, nothing, I was just wondering that is it you who is in a relationship."

That evening we all gathered in Neil's place, as Neil and I had planned to inform them about my relationship with Krish. All wondered why they were been called.

"Okay Guys, Looshin and I want to say something." Neil broke the ice.

"Then say it." Vicky interrupted furiously.

"Loo, say it." Neil saw me.

I widened my eyes, "what? You have to say them." he insisted.

"Come on babe, Loo. Say it" Suhana looked at me.

"Okay guys, I got committed..." I closed my eyes.

"What?" all were surprised except Neil and asked in unison.

I nodded.

"Who's that?" Monica asked in surprise.

"We all know him." Neil folded his hand across his chest and leaned over his beanbag.

"Is it Krish?" Suhana raised an eyebrow with a smirk.

I nodded as I could feel warm in my cheeks.

"I knew it, by the way, he was looking at you." Nikithaa laughed.

"But?" Monica saw Neil.

"I have no objection, Monica," Neil said looking at her.

"Neil, are you sure?" I asked him in confusion.

He got up from his beanbag, came and sat beside me on the sofa. "Ya dude, happy?"

That night I, Grandpa and Grandma were having dinner together and suddenly I got a message on my phone and it displayed the sender id as "Krish". My heartbeat rose to the highest because Grandpa and Grandma never allow me to use the phone after 7 p.m. it said, "Are you free? Want to talk with you now."

"Not now, I'm with my grandparents". I replied to him.

"Loo, you know very well that you should not use the phone after 7." Grandpa sounded serious.

"Sorry, Grandpa." I apologized and kept my phone away.

After dinner, I changed myself into a night suit and called Krish. At first, he had declined my call and then he called me. 

"Hello." My voice lowered, so Grandpa and Grandma could not hear my voice.

"Hey, Babe." 

"What are you doing?"

"Just now had dinner and came into my room, you?"

"Talking with you." I teased.

"Hahaha." He chuckled, "nice try."

"What?" 

"Nothing."

"Hmm."

"Had dinner?" 

"Yeah"

"So, how do you feel?"

"About what?"

"First, you were my friend and now you are my love. So, how do you feel?"

"I'm not feeling anything like that." I lied I felt like I was in the seventh cloud. Also, if we let boys know about our feeling so earlier, then they'll take the advantages; once again the sense of girl's ego. 

"Hmm."

"Then?"

"You say." 

"What to say?"

"Whatever you want to say."

He asked about my mom, dad and my sisters. Then about Neil and my other friends, how far we are friends? Then he said about his best friend and his family. He called me, as his princess. 

"Krish, I'm feeling sleepy." My voice sounded dizzy.

"Okay Princess, let's see on the bus."

"Bye, Good night."

"Good night."

"hmmm," I said and disconnected the call, before he could say anything and went to sleep.