Shattered Albeit Winsome

#61

I may not have been a perfect mom, my dear boy, but I tried to be one.

I may not have taught you enough, or maybe I disciplined you too much. I don’t know. I know sometimes, I got on your nuts!

I fed you and bathed you and clothed you. I bought you toys darling.

I sang to you, read to you, taught you everything. You were my boy, my precious, baby boy. But never did I do what I should do for you. I know hiding your father’s identity from you is not less than a sin. But I do wish I could tell you the truth. Why did I do so to you?

I got up with you to send you to school every day. I stroked your forehead and hair when you were sick. Like every mother does for her child. I did everything. I knew you were not feeling well, because you let me do these things. You were never very cuddly.

I paid for all your needs. I looked at you for days, after you came into this world. I didn’t want to miss anything. I adored you like anything. I adore you and will adore you forever.

I kept you safe from everything. I kept you clean and tidy darling. I soothed you when you cried, my baby. I let you stay up late and watch TV my darling.

Do you have that idea of what you are to me? What do you mean to me? You are the world to me.

I hugged you and kissed you every day. A day, without you, is impossible for me. Every day, I want to be with you. You couldn’t leave for school without a hug and kiss, do you remember that? I told you “I love you” constantly, daily, always, because I do. I love you. Will do so eternally.

I love you!

When you were just born, I did not know anything about parenting. But later I grew with you. I learned things. I got to know what being a mother means.

You are five now. But do you know when you were two, I wrote you a song? You used to like it very much. I would sing for you. Whenever you used to cry, I would sing it for you. Apart from that, I would look upon the spot, while brushing your teeth, to distract you. You were always so active and smart.