Shattered Albeit Winsome

#63

 I want to apologize to you Aidwik, my darling, son. I want to say sorry for everything from the depths of my soul. I cannot be sorry enough for how my actions became so totally out of control, resulting in tremendous hurt to you and Aidwik. I know the day you will come to know about the reality, I will not be able to face you. I did sin. And covering it further is a bigger sin than it. I never wanted to commit such a sin. But things were not at all in my hands.

I did not want to hide anything from you. But I had to What should I do? God knows my love for you is as pure as him. I want to tell to you; Arnav is your father. I want to shout. I want the whole world to know about this. I want them to know, who is your father. But now it is not the right time.

I know there is no right time for anything. Before time passes away, we should do all the necessary things which we have been planning to do. But my dear, Aidwik, you are not that old to get all these things. I promise once you get a bit older, mum will tell you everything.

I know, I was making horrible and drastic choices and heading down a path of negativity. I know I have been selfish, but whatever I did was for you, my son. My God knows it. I wish I would have not committed all these things. All I did was self-destroying which finally cost me everyone and everything I had in my world, most importantly you. I know you are not aware of anything. But when you will come to know what I did you will hate me.

I so wish that you will forgive me.