Havoc

15 - What I had to do

Wynter

I feel a bit shaky. I’m not sure why, but maybe seeing Phoenix act the way she just did shook me up a little.

I sink into my seat and stare at my hands. I’m not used to people like these bikers. I know I’ll get used to them and their ways; it’s just going to take a while.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?”

I look up at Aunt Taylor as she takes a seat in front of me, and I smile while nodding my head.

“Fine, just a little shaken up. Is she always like that?” I nod my head towards Phoenix. She’s at the bar with Ava, laughing about something.

She just attacked a man and is now acting like nothing happened!

“Phoenix? Yeah, she’s always like that.” Taylor chuckles. “Phoenix might come off harsh, but she’s a good girl. She means well, Wynter. Phoenix was looking out for you. You mean a lot to my daughter already, and that is something special where Phoenix is concerned.”

I smile at that. I love my cousin, and it makes me proud that she loves me in return.

“She won’t get in trouble, will she?”

Taylor rolls her eyes with a smile on her face. “No, darlin’, Phoenix won’t be in trouble. Even if she was in trouble, she’d talk her way right out of it again.”

Taylor and I talk for a while. We talk about how I met Havoc and how she met and fell in love with Jack. It makes my heart burst with love for my uncle. Knowing how he fought to love this beautiful woman makes me love him so much more.

When I’m talking with my aunt, I forget the bad things in life. Taylor has such a sunny outlook on life, and it would be criminal to wonder about the bad.

“Aunt Taylor?” I smile at the gorgeous young woman addressing Taylor. “I’m so sorry to interrupt,” She smiles at me. “Hi, I’m Ember.”

She holds her hand out to me, and I take it, shaking it graciously. “Wynter,” I tell her.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

“Is there something you wanted, sweetheart?” Taylor asks.

“Yes. I just wondered if you’d had time to order the banners for Eagle’s birthday. I know it’s not for a couple months yet, but I want to get ahead of things.”

Taylor chuckles. “Ember is Eagle’s big sister,” She tells me, and I smile because that’s why the girl looks so familiar. “He’s turning twenty-one soon, and Ember is throwing him a surprise party.”

“He’ll hit the roof if he finds out, but you’re only twenty-one once.” Ember laughs. She doesn’t have to say anything else for me to know that her brother means everything to her. It’s written all over her face.

“I’ve put the order in, sweetheart. They should be with us by the end of next week.”

“Thank you!” Ember hugs Taylor tightly. “So,” She says as she takes a seat beside Taylor. “What do you do for a living?”

That’s the first time anyone has asked me that question.

“Well, at the moment nothing. I used to work as a waitress wherever I could get a job. Though I always had a dream about being a therapist of some sort. Helping battered women or the homeless to find shelter, work, etc.”

I know what it’s like to be hungry, not to have a roof over my head, and to wish someone out there would help. Cassie and I lived on the streets for a while. We’d been kicked out of our care home for bad behavior. Those in charge didn’t give a damn what happened to us. They didn’t care as long as we were out of their hair. Christ knows what they told the state about our disappearance. Perhaps they said nothing at all and still collected the money they got for caring for us. I never cared to find out.

While we were on the streets, it was terrifying. Cassie wasn’t as strong as me, and I took care of her as best I could, though she cried that first night, all night long as I held her to keep her warm.

Cassie and I were fifteen, and we were scared that we’d be attacked. I told Cassie I wouldn’t let that happen, I’d protect us, and she believed me because I was always the stronger of the two of us. However, I knew that if we were attacked, I wouldn’t be able to stop it, but I’d take everything to protect Cassie.

I realized how badly people look down on those less fortunate early on. Begging for food would have people sneering at us. The odd person would drop a dollar here and there, but no one ever conversed with us. We were shi.t on their shoes, and no one wanted to help us. All everyone saw was scum that they ignored. We weren’t scum, just two young girls who needed help but had no one to turn to.

There were days when I didn’t eat because I couldn’t find enough food for two or earn enough money begging that day to buy what we needed. But I always made sure Cassie ate something, even if it was a half-eaten sandwich from the trash. The thought of that makes me shiver. It makes me shiver even more to think of what I had to do to keep Cassie healthy.

It had been eight days on the street, and Cassie began to get ill from the cold at night. I was terrified because I couldn’t help her feel better. I couldn’t take her to the hospital because I knew they’d call the authorities, and we’d be dumped back in a care home. God only knew how much trouble we would have been in for running away. Those in charge of the children’s home we’d left wouldn’t have stuck up for us. They would have lied and said we’d run away, but they hadn’t been able to find us. They would put on a show, acting like they were glad we were back, but we’d be in for it once those doors were closed.

Why would they take the blame for kicking us out?

And who’d believe us if we told the truth?

That’s right, no one. In the eyes of those in charge, Cassie and I were unruly kids with big attitudes.

I did what I could for Cassie while she was ill. I’d managed to steal a blanket and a cushion from an old woman. She’d been setting up a picnic in her garden and had gone inside to get something. I saw my chance, and I took it. I had to do it for Cassie, even if I felt terrible for stealing.

Once I lay cardboard boxes down on the ground, in the corner of the alley we’d been staying in, I covered Cassie with the blanket and went in search of medicine.

I thought I could beg and get enough money to buy something that would help. When that didn’t work, I thought about stealing from the pharmacy. I made a plan inside my head and made myself believe I could pull it off. The only trouble was that I couldn’t pull it off because there were just too many CCTV cameras around. I knew I’d be caught and taken away.

What would happen to Cassie then?

Instead, I met a man outside the pharmacy. He stopped me and asked what was wrong. I don’t know why I told him about Cassie being ill and me needing to get medication for her. Perhaps I hoped he would help me.

He smiled at me, and I began to walk away, thinking he didn’t give a damn. But he took my arm and offered me a way to help Cassie get everything she needed to make her better. I didn’t want to do it, but he made a good point.

Could I risk one more night on the street with Cassie as sick as she was?

I explained that I was fifteen and did he want to be known as a pervert? He told me that I looked older than fifteen, and he didn’t care that I wasn’t. As long as I did what he asked of me, he’d give me everything I needed.

I was so scared, yet I couldn’t turn down his offer. I didn’t want to lose Cassie, and I could have lost her if I didn’t get her what she needed. So, I went with him, hoping he didn’t kill me and that he’d help the way he promised.

He took me to a motel, told me to shower the dirt from my body, shave where needed shaving, and put on the sex.y underwear he gave me. I’d never been with a man before that moment, but I felt I had no other choice.

Rob, so he told me was his name, was kind to me, and he didn’t hurt me. By that, I mean he didn’t beat me, and he wasn’t rough with my body. Rob was gentle and said we’d made love because I was special. He treated me like a princess, though I felt sad after we’d had se.x. I gave my virginity to a stranger to help my friend. I did what I had to because Cassie was all I had, and she meant everything to me.

Rob told me to shower with him; he wouldn’t touch me again, but he wanted to look at me. I was uncomfortable, but I didn’t feel like I could say no after what we’d done.

Rob dried my body gently before helping me dress in fresh underwear and a night slip. He lifted me into his strong arms and lay me down on the bed. I must admit that Rob was handsome for a man of his age. I figured he was in his early forties, but it was evident that he took good care of himself. He had muscles, and his powerful chest was something I couldn’t help staring at that moment.

Rob kissed my head and told me he’d be right there to protect me while I slept and not worry about anything. I nodded my head and soon fell asleep. I did because I believed what he said.

There’s no excuse for a man sleeping with a child, even if they are kind to the girl. However, in my childish mind, Rob was a good man and just wanted to help me.

If I heard a young girl say such a thing today, I’d know better than to say it was okay. It’s never okay, but I was young and frightened, and Rob was the only person willing to help me when I needed help.

What else was I supposed to do?