Havoc

6 - Deep breath

Wynter

“Do you think he’ll want to see me?” I ask as I snuggle into Havoc.

Since he wrapped his arms around me earlier, I haven't wanted Havoc to let go. I’ve missed the way he holds me, and being in his arms is the only place I’ve ever felt safe.

Havoc pulls me closer. “I have no doubt that he’ll want to see you, Wynter. As soon as Wrench tells BlackJack about you, he’ll find you. Why didn’t you tell me you were related to BlackJack when we first met?”

I lift off Havoc so that I can look at him.

“I don’t know, Havoc.” I shrug. “I wasn’t ready to meet him, so I said nothing. You and I were just getting to know one another, and I was enjoying our time together. I was going to tell you the day I told you who my father was. It just didn’t work out the way I planned.”

I watch him staring at me, and I feel so guilty about what happened. I wish more than anything that I’d had more faith in my husband.

However, I wonder why Havoc kept me a secret from his family. My insecurities about not being good enough suddenly come rushing back to me.

“What are you thinking, Wynter?”

I bite the inside of my cheek. I need to be honest with Havoc. There’s no room for secrets any longer.

“It’s just that I wonder why you never told anyone about me. I know our wedding was spur of the moment, and I loved that it was. And I know I have no right to wonder when I didn’t tell you who my uncle was. However, in the short time we were together, you never told your family about me.”

“I was selfish in wanting to keep you to myself for a short while, Wynter. I planned a surprise for you, and I’d invited my family to come over because I wanted them to know you. When you left, you broke my heart.”

I blink, and a tear falls from my eye, which Havoc wipes away with his thumb.

“I told my parents and my siblings about you, Wynter. Even though you were gone, you were still in my heart.”

I was never his secret; I know that now.

Havoc tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. “We can’t change the past, Wynter. There will always be regret, but we don’t need to hold onto the pain. I’ll always regret letting you walk away from me that day,”

“I’ll always regret walking away.”

He smiles at me, and it makes my heart beat faster. “Let’s forget what happened for a moment, Wynter.”

I nod because the past doesn’t matter any longer. Talking about it again and again isn’t going to change what happened.

“I still love you, baby.” I blink and smile. “I’ve been lost without you, Wynter. We had something so special. You know it, and I know it. It’s why we clicked the second we met, and it’s why we got married so soon.”

He cups my face, and I clutch his wrist in my hand.

“I can’t have you going back out there, Wynter. I won’t let you leave me again because I need you here with me.” Havoc presses his forehead against mine. “Please, Wynter. I’ll keep you safe, no matter what it takes. I promise.”

I have been taking care of myself my whole life. I don’t need anyone to rescue me. But I do need someone on my side. I cannot do this alone any longer.

“I know you will.” I didn’t trust him before, and that was my mistake. But I trust him now. I take his face in mine and kiss him softly. “I’m so sorry,” I whisper. I can feel the pain I caused him flowing from him to me, and it hurts. “I love you so much.”

Havoc kisses me hungrily, and I moan into his mouth. He pulls out of the kiss, forehead against mine, and a smile on his lips. “I’ve been wanting to do that for days.”

I open my mouth to reply, but loud banging on the front door stops me. “Oh, God.” I grab at Havoc’s cut. “What if it’s those men? What if they’ve found me here?”

Havoc grabs my face in his hands just as there’s another bang on the door. “Everything is okay, Wynter. I know you’re afraid of those men, but I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“Don't answer it, please, Havoc. They could do anything to you.”

“I’ll be fine, Wynter.”

“Don’t answer it!” I tell him in a panic. However, Havoc kisses my head and tells me to wait here.

Wait here?

To do what?

Shi.t myself in fear?!

I wish I could say I wasn’t scared of those men and what they might do to me. But I would be a massive liar. Anybody would be afraid right now.

I get out of my seat and pace the floor. So many things rush through my head all at once.

What if Havoc opens that door, and those men are standing on the other side?

What if they shoot him dead before he has the chance to say anything?

What if those men walk over Havoc’s body, walk into this room, and kill me?

Or worse, drag me off with them and do God only knows what to me?

They could sell me to a se.x trafficking ring, which could then sell me to a monster who would share me with his friends. I could be locked in a dark place for months until I learn to behave the way they want me to. Those men themselves could take turns raping me until I break!

Or they could just kill me right here and right now!

Christ, I wish I knew what they wanted from me.

“Wynter?” I startle where I stand and look up at Havoc, standing in front of me. He cups my cheek and smiles. “It’s okay, beautiful.”

“Was it them?” I'm guessing not, as Havoc is smiling at me, but I need to know for sure.

“No,” He shakes his head slightly. “It wasn’t them.” I let go of the breath within me, my stomach unclenching with relief. “There is someone here who would like to speak with you, however.”

I shake my head. “I don’t want to speak with anyone, Havoc. I’ve had enough for one day.”

I’m exhausted, and I just want to sleep. There are things Havoc and I need to talk about, but that can wait until tomorrow. Whoever this person is can come back tomorrow.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer.” Havoc turns his head, and I spot the man standing behind him.

There’s no need for me to ask his name. I know who he is. He hasn’t changed much from the photograph my father showed me. He’s older, of course, and bigger built, but no less handsome.

Havoc looks at me. “He just wants to talk to you.”

What choice do I have?

The man is here now. Besides, this is what I’ve wanted since I found out about him.

I nod my head and take a deep breath.

“Can I get either of you anything?” Both Jack and I shake our heads. “Okay, I’ll leave the two of you to talk.” Havoc kisses my lips. “I’ll be in the kitchen. If you need me, just yell.”

“You don’t have to go.”

“You need privacy right now, beautiful.” He kisses me again. “I won’t be far away.”

I nod and watch him leave the room, leaving me alone with my long-lost uncle.

I stare at my uncle for a second and swallow hard. I have nothing to fear, but I’m nervous. I want to know him, but he may not want to know me. I could be a horrible reminder of the racist family Jack left behind.

I tuck my hair behind my ear and nervously smile at him. “Hi,”

“Hello, Wynter,” He smiles at me.

I don’t know why, but that smile makes me feel emotional. I know that he’s genuinely happy to meet me, and there is no animosity because of who my father is. I see in Jack’s eyes that he really is the kind man Havoc assured me he is.

“Would you like to take a seat?”

He nods and sits in the armchair next to the fire. Nervously, I sit down on the edge of the couch and swallow hard.

Deep breath, Wynter. Deep breath.