Feral attraction

CHAPTER FIVE

ALICE POV

Every day got worse. I thought I'd have moved on by now. The past was like a cobweb that caught me; I try to fight my way out of it, but it just doesn't seem to work out. What do I do? My head still hurts, my heart still aches. I can still perceive his scent. I can still feel his touch. His lips, oh his lips... How sweet they were.

Stop doing this to yourself. Why do you keep thinking about him? He left you. He wasn't compelled to. I know you want to believe the best of him. Hell! You're even crafting a reason for his actions. You need to find a distraction. Get yourself busy. Don't just lay around and sulk.

"I wish it was that easy," I thought out loud. I was alone, good.

By the way, I should take my advice. I need to find something to do. My eyes widened like I had gotten the perfect solution to every single problem I had.

"But what do I do now?" I start to scratch my head.

The day finally got dark, phew... I was tired of doing nothing, other than thinking of Gunther and crying myself to sleep. I already developed eye bags from doing too much of those.

Henry's revved car engine informed me of his arrival. I dashed to the room, washed my face, and stayed there. A few minutes later he knocks on my room door. I feigned ignorance.

"Alice?" he called out.

"Come in" I dressed the sheets further up my body.

"I got you food, it's downstairs" his right hand was on the doorknob while the other rested on the door frame.

"I don't feel hungry," I said, doing my best to evade his eyes.

"Have you had anything?" he persisted. He's been very vocal this last month. Although I still didn't know about his family, he asked me a lot of questions about mine. Not like I would have housed a stranger without asking those same questions too.

"No"

"Then you must be hungry" he now leaned on the door frame with his whole body.

"I have a request" I finally look in his direction. He raised his eyebrow as if to say "Get on with it", I obliged.

"I don't like how I stay idle. I want to start working, as well as go to school" I had already blurted it out before comprehending how silly it sounded.

"You said you had a request?" I was confused by his question. Was this not supposed to be a request? Was I supposed to write him a letter?

"Yes?" I replied unsure of what he meant. He crossed his arms into each other and walked slowly, closer to the bed.

"You have made two requests, Alice. Maybe you need school after all." he smiled. I was embarrassed.

"Get out" I groaned.

"Yes and yes," he started to walk out. He got to the door, made to close it, and then turned his head to say "Only after eating though" The door closed after him. I was excited. The thought of Guther won't occupy my head every time anymore.

Henry has been helpful and supportive of everything I did. He was very present. I appreciated that. The school was easy, but most found it hard. I don't know why. Even though I did get to be busy a lot because of school and work, Guther still filled my mind. I couldn't escape him. I had even dreamt of him making love to me the other night. I hated him, but I hated myself more. How can I hurt myself more like this? I was hoping to erase everything about him.

I worked harder than most, and this made the boss like me a lot. My co-workers didn't mind relieving some of their duties to me. I didn't mind either, anything to get out of this trap I'm in emotionally.

On one of those evenings at work, I felt sick. I thought it was the usual feeling that would go after rest. It didn't. Three days later I went to get tested. I can't be sick, I can't be.

"You're sixteen weeks pregnant. Congratulations" the physician broke the news to me. I just sat there, numb.

Do I abort this pregnancy? I can't keep it. I'm trying so hard to forget about him. How do I forget about him if I keep seeing his face every time?

Maybe it won't look like him?

It very well will! And even if it doesn't, its existence is already a reminder of him. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him so much! I hate myself even more!

"Are you—?" Henry cut into the conversation with my inner self.

"Mm?" I didn't hear him well.

"Are you alright? You look more lost than usual" he smiled. What's so exciting about it to make him smile?

"I'm good," I muttered. He knew I was lying, I could tell by his gesture. He didn't leave me to think about it too much though.

"I know you're not," he said after a brief silence.

"I don't want to talk about it," I responded sternly.

"Okay," he didn't argue. Good.

I remained on my bed, long after waking up.

"Thought you were still asleep, came to wake you" Henry walked into my room, "The door was open, I let myself in," he said without me asking. After an awkward silence, he continued, "So no work or school today?"

"No" I responded

"You're still fine I assume" he teased

"Yes"

"Okay" he turned to leave

"Close the door"

The doorbell sounded. I hated the person instantly. How could one bother my messed up life by noon? I covered my head with the sheets as though it'd make the guest automatically disappear. The doorbell sounded again.

"Oh, f**k" My hair was scattered, my eyes read, and my body smelled. I sniffed my armpits and scrunched my face. The doorbell came on again.

Who the f**k was this person? Henry never had a visitor. I groggily got up and traveled down the stairs. The doorbell sounded again.

"Who the f**k is it?" I shouted without being at the door yet.

"Sorry, is my brother home?" I was amazed. Brother? So Henry did have a family. Wow. I hurried to get to the door.

"Hey, wel—" The sight I met got me enraged. I got a smile back. I really do hate you. My words stuck in my head.