The old spot was crowded, and when people heard why, the entire staff of the paper had come en masse, and others started showing up, buying drinks for the staff, one round after another. Predictably, Jack Daniels led the group onward, drinking more than anyone else and loudly declaiming they were there to take part in a wake, mourning the death of the Salem News. The group, joined by others in the bar and friends who wandered in to join them, went ahead to lurch between tears and hilarity as they told war stories about their years working at the Salem News.
When he had finally drunk himself into a fair state of inebriation, Daniels raised his glass at the start of a fresh round and in a sonorous voice said, “May Jessica Lodge’s saggy old t**s rot off in hell.”
People hesitated for a mom
