JUST WHISPER YOU LOVE ME

4970 Words
  “Bang a broad once and spend the next seventeen years crying over her dumping you.  Pure wimp man.”  Jonathan stared at his mirrored image in disgust.  He paused to look around the room.  What was with him lately, he thought.  The entire g**g seemed mainly to get on his nerves.  And Jonah was as usual only being Jonah with his remark. Jonathan Bassett rose from the sofa and moved across the room to stare out the window, leaving his twin and the other two men he considered his closest friends still engrossed in the television talk show.  He shook his head, his mouth forming a dry imitation of a smile, Jonah really needed to be swallowed by a whale he thought. Jonah glanced back at his twin’s back.  “What’s up man?  Can you believe this guy?  He gives male-hood a bad name.” Jonathan sighed.  “I know Jonah, you’ve never been dumped.  You never stuck around long enough.”  The latter was spoken under his breath. Jonah shrugged.  “What can I say?  It’s the way of the world Jo-Jo.  I can’t help it if nice girls aren’t to my taste.  I have yet to meet a babe that’s smart and beautiful to my taste.  I could go with someone like in that movie where the guy hooked up with the hooker with the heart of gold, but I ain’t seen one that looks like Julia Roberts, least not in my price range.” “Hey man, is there one babe in your life you’d like to know what she’s doing about now?”  Leon the optimist of the group asked. “Yeah.”  Decker the gentleman giant spoke.  “My wife.” Jonah laughed.  “Man you got the last good thing on the planet.” Decker smiled a boyish smile.  “And I’m forever grateful I promise you.” Jonah turned back to the television set.  “Hold up, test result time.”  All four men’s attention turned to the giant screen. The host looked at the young boy and announced the results.  “Ninety-nine point nine five percent the child is yours my man.  Now what you going to do?” The boy’s look was defiant.  “I’m gonna take care of the kid.” “Take care of the kid?  What about your so-called friends lying about the mother of your kid?  It ever cross your mind that if they lied about her sleeping around that perhaps they lied about her taking their money?”  The host questioned, temper barely held in check. “I know my hommies.”  The boy defended as the host regarded him now with total disgust as did the audience. “Tap him not so lightly Melvin!”  Jonah yelled at the screen. Jonathan turned to regard him in open surprise.  “This coming from a man who swears you can’t trust a female with anything over a ten?” Jonah disregarded his brother’s remark.  “Man, to be young, dumb and irresponsible again.” “Some of us never left it.”  Jonathan threw out as he headed for the door. Hearing the door slam, Jonah turned in surprise.  “What got into him all of a sudden?”  Leon and Decker exchanged wary glances before focusing again on the television.  Jonah merely shrugged before doing the same.   Jonathan sat huddled in the empty bleachers.  Shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket, his fist closed around the letter.  “Damn you Rachel.”  He spoke into the wind. In the five years they had been married his beautiful but empty wife had alienated him not only from his family but also his entire hometown neighborhood. And now he would have to return to face them all alone.  No he thought, not alone.  Alex and Samantha would be with him.  Perhaps the children... he stopped. Would it be fair to take the children there?  He sighed.  What other choice did he have?  They had been together for six months yet he still felt unable to reach either of them.  The divorce had been messy at best.  He had given in to every selfish demand Rachel had made in order to protect the children, only to have her die in an easily prevented boating accident. He could still draw up the sight of his pale-faced children huddled together as he’d approached them at Rachel’s parents home.  After the divorce, Rachel had prevented his seeing his own children for two years with the assistance of her parents. Now at her death, they had insisted on getting rid of the troublesome burden.  He had arrived at his ex-in-laws home to find the children seated on the front steps with their meager possessions beside them... in the rain.  As he had pulled up to the house, the older couple had rushed out the house, locking the door behind them. He gritted his teeth in anger as he again recalled how they had been prepared to leave the children on the step alone in order to ensure they did not miss their flight for the first leg of their year long trip around the world... courtesy of Rachel’s life insurance and divorce settlement. Jonathan sighed and closed his eyes.  Remembering would serve no purpose he knew.  What was important was Alex and Samantha.  Again his hand closed over the letter.  It had been his lifeline for the past three weeks.  But did he dare? “Do I have a choice?”  He spoke to the wind.  Timon’s solution was simple... come home.  But could he?   Jonathan smiled as he laid, hand behind head, staring at the darkened ceiling listening to the familiar sound of Timon’s soft snore.  He had been home a week and though the first few days had been awkward, things had settled into the once familiar pattern.  Timon had been right, it had been time to come home. He turned his head until he could see a lump in the bed by the window.  Timon had been his best friend throughout childhood.  Timon knew him better than anyone.  He checked himself here, almost better than anyone he corrected. That other person was the reason he laid awake in the silent house.  Isabella.  Isabella Kingsley, Timon’s baby sister.  Now she knew him better than anyone.  As a baby she had followed him around.  It had been a family joke that Issy as they called her, was the only one who had always been able to tell Jonathan and Jonah apart. Tomorrow she would be home for the reunion.  It had surprised Jonathan to learn that she had ever left.  His Issy had always been a hometown girl.  Though she had encouraged him to “do it afraid” in pursuing his dream of architecture, he had always taken it for granted that she would always live next door with her mother.  She was just that kind of homebody. But no, Mother Kingsley had fairly gushed about how proud she was of Issy.  Mother Kingsley, he chuckled softly.  Her warmth had even won over the frightened Alex and Samantha.  The homemade rootbeer had helped he admitted.  He knew in his heart they would fall in love with Issy too for she had the sweetness of her mother. Yes, his Issy would be home tomorrow.  His heart began to race.  She always knew how to help.  Surely the children would adjust quickly with her here.  She always had the time to help people.  Little Issy always had the time.   The pain in his chest reminded Jonathan of his need for air.  He blinked rapidly but the vision remained.  He watched from the porch as the woman turned to remove her bag from the rear seat of the truck.  His startled eyes moved from the slimness of her leather shod feet up her seemingly endless legs encased in much washed denim to... his breath caught as she turned. Quickly he forced his gaze away from the expansion of creamy coco skin left exposed by her cropped top only to have to move away again as his gaze registered that indeed this was not little Issy.  There was nothing childish about this woman. Jonathan looked to her eyes only to find them hidden behind mirrored shades.  He knew without a doubt she had seen him.  His forehead wrinkled as he frowned.  She had seen him... and chosen to ignore him. The ringing in his ears gave way to the laughter.  He glared at Timon who had come to stand behind him.  “Did I mention that little Issy had... grown up?”  Still chuckling, he moved to greet his not so little sister.   She was ignoring him!  The one who had followed him about in childhood adoration was pointy ignoring him.   And Jonathan found he did not care for it one bit!   Let them laugh, Jonathan fumed as he walked purposely on.  There was nothing wrong with a grown man wanting ice cream after dinner.  He stopped abruptly and glanced up at the marque.  Face like flint, he entered the club.   Jonathan froze as he finally spotted her.  His eyes narrowed at the sight of the hand touching the skin of her waist.  Issy turned towards the young man at her side, He spoke into her ear and Jonathan tensed as he saw her laugh. “The ice cream must be real good tonight.”  Timon laughed. Jonathan was in no mood for his friend’s humor.  “She should be at home, it’s late.” “Um friend, I don’t know if you noticed or not but...” he watched his sister move to the dance floor and saw his childhood friend turn into stone at his side as he too watched.  “... she’s all grown up.”  He completed.  Timon smiled as he watched his friend watching.   “For the sake of your mother you should be mindful how people talk in small towns.” Isabella paused on the stairs, her hand tightening around the banister.  “Meaning?”  Her voice was deceptively soft.  She turned slowly to face him, allowing her gaze to run lazily over him. Jonathan felt his stomach muscles tighten.  This was not his Issy.  This was... a woman.  His eyes locked with hers.  She knew, he thought.  All this time he had been running but he now knew why he had returned.  He stared into the eyes which had watched him with so much trust all those years. He had watched as they had changed her senior year and her shyness had heightened.  Jonathan had known then his “little tag-a-long” considered herself in love with him and he had allowed it. He recalled the night of her senior prom when he had gone over to the gym just to check on her and her first date.  At sixteen she had been so innocent.  His breathing grew heavier as he remembered how her eyes had changed from dark brown to light after he had kissed her.  He had meant only to comfort her and stop her tears.  Her pain at finding out her “date” had been bought for her had crushed her and he’d only wanted to make it better. Jonathan felt his body tighten as he felt those lips and that extraordinarily sweet breath again.  He groaned and his body jerked as he realized this was no little girl.  Isabella had stepped down and her mouth was reintroducing itself to his. His heart began to race as he felt her press against him.  His eyes closed as he drunk in her taste.  He shivered as he felt her tongue go beyond the barrier of his teeth and lightly flick his own.  His moan was soft.  He froze when her words reached his ears.  “Grow up Jonathan... I have.”  And she was up the stairs, leaving him dazed and swaying.   “What’s with Issy, Timon!”  Jonathan looked across the backyard in disgust. Timon hid a smile.  “What can I say?  She’s grown up.” “So I noticed.  The Issy I knew would never... dress like that.”  He ended on a gruff note. “What’s wrong with the way she’s dressed?” Jonathan missed the teasing note in his voice.  “The Issy I knew would never show that much skin.”  Timon took in Isabella’s shorts and cropped top, modest in comparison to what some of the other women were wearing about.  His laugh was quickly turned into a cough at Jonathan’s fury.  “What do she think people are saying?” he barked. “My, how Issy’s grown?”  Timon offered before his voice was swallowed in laughter.  Jonathan barely stopped himself from hitting his oldest friend... barely.   “So Issy, what’s this about you getting a residency at USC?  I thought you had to be married for that.”  Aunt Theodora’s voice rose above the merriment of the reunion. “I will be.”  Issy shot back, causing an immediate silence to fall.  She continued to set out cups as those about her looked about with lost expressions. Aunt Theodora moved to her side but surprise kept her voice raised.  “You mean you’re marrying him?” “Marrying who?”  The question circled the yard. “You’re marrying the young man with the matted hair?”  Aunt Theodora’s voice rose another decimal. “They’re called dreads Auntie, dreadlocks.” “I can see why, but Issy... I mean he’s cute and all but really...” Isabella turned and the flow of words ceased.  “I will not discuss it Auntie.  That’s my private business and it shall remain so.”  She turned and moved towards the house.  A silent Jonathan, face red with rage, watched until the screen door closed behind her than moved to follow.   “Who is this guy?”  The question was spat out. Isabella took her time in removing the bag of ice from the freezer and placing it on the counter.  “That’s none of your business.”  She didn’t bother to face him as she unhurriedly opened the bag and began to pour its contents into a large plastic bowl. “I’m making it my business.”  Jonathan’s voice was a rising growl. “Go away Jonathan.”  She spoke as though talking to a child.  “Go play with your kids, they look a bit lost.” “Who is he Issy?”  She sighed and turned to move past him.  Jonathan in a single step trapped her against the counter.  “Who is this guy you’re talking about marrying?”  She watched him in defiance, her own color rising.  “I want an answer... now.”  He pressed in. Isabella’s breath caught as their bodies touched.  Looking up into his glaring blue-grey eyes, she reached for the ever-present anger she kept banked.  “I don’t owe you any answer, now move it Johnny.” In response, he moved a breath closer.  “You do owe me you know.”  His voice was low.  “But all I’m asking for right now is an explanation.” Isabella laughed without humor.  “You’re the last person I owe any thing.  As for explanation, I’ll use the same one you gave me when you got married.”  Her shove caught him by surprise as did her words and like a breeze she was out the door.     “What could she have meant Timon?”  Jonathan’s voice was weary as he watched his kids chasing Issy about the yard in the dusk. For once Timon’s face was without a smile or even a slight smirk.  “You hurt her man.  No one was prepared for the word on you getting hitched.  It was like... out of the blue.”  His following silence forced Jonathan to face him.  “She was really out of it for awhile.  Then when the news came about the kids, she just up and left.”  He turned away.  “Can’t say I blame her for giving up by then.” “It wouldn’t have worked.”  Jonathan’s voice was void. “You should have thought of that... before.” “I left to make up for it all.  To help her forget me.” Timon shrugged.  “So maybe now it’s your turn to forget her.” “I can’t do that.” “Can’t... or won’t?  Don’t you think you owe her that much?” Jonathan watched as Issy allowed herself to be caught.  The trio’s laughter filled the night air.  “I’m not strong enough to walk away twice.”  The two men continued to look on in silence.   Thunder shook the house as the lightening lit up the bedroom.  Jonathan sat up abruptly.  “Forget about the storms this time of year didn’t you buddy?”  Timon’s sleep filled voice drifted across the room. “Alex and Sam are terrified of storms.  I have to see about them.”  He threw back the covers and rose.  As thunder crashed again, he was across the room and at the door. “Oh the ever increasing joys of parenthood.”  Timon droned before turning over and going back to sleep.   Jonathan’s breathing was harsh as it mingled with the force of the storm.  ‘Damn it kids, where are you?”  He was drenched by the time he reached the porch next door.  Without bothering to knock, he opened the front-door and entered. For a moment he stood in the darkened hall.  A movement at the top of the stairs drew his attention.  “Issy?” “No Jonathan, it’s me.  What are you doing at this time of night?”  Mother Kingsley descended until she stood beside him. “The kids, the storm, they’re...”  He halted at the touch of her finger against his mouth.  Without a word he followed her down the hallway. Mother Kingsley paused before a set of French doors.  Though the storm continued to rage, she quietly opened the doors.  As the two stepped in, the storm miraculously died down, leaving a token silence.  Mother Kingsley remained at the door as Jonathan moved silently forward. Before the roaring fire laid Issy, in the circle of her arms laid Samantha, while Alex had curled up tightly against her back, an arm draped over her waist.  The trio slept on, cushioned by the mound of blankets on which they slept.  Jonathan’s vision blurred with tears. “The storm frightened them so they came looking for her.”  Mother Kingsley spoke in his ear, having soundlessly moved across the room.  “And she was waiting for them.” Jonathan’s gaze roamed over the sleeping figures.  His eyes lingered longest on the smooth limbs of Issy... no tonight she was Isabella.  Isabella, whose silken sleep shirt was hitched to mid-thigh leaving a lush leg exposed.  A light touch on his arm had him turning away.  A final glance over his shoulder and Jonathan stepped back into the hallway.  “When something’s meant to be we just have to learn when to leave it alone.”  Mother Kingsley whispered in his ear. For a moment he stood still and silent.  “Do you blame me too?” A gentle hand cupped his cheek, he turned with tears in his eyes.  “You do enough blaming for all of us baby.”  Her words were as soft as her touch.  ‘The future will be only what we’re brave enough to battle for.  Are you brave Jonathan?” He looked back to the French doors.  “If I’m not, I’ll pretend until I am.” She smiled and placed a kiss on his cheek.  “Go get rest Jonathan, tomorrows another chapter.”  And like a breeze, she was gone. Jonathan moved to the doors and peered in.  Taking a deep breath, he backed away and moved once more into the storm.   Jonathan waited, he knew that sooner or later Issy would seek out their special place.  She always had when she was upset and their fight that morning had definitely upset her.  Sooner or later, he thought as he stood in the cement tunnel.  Sooner had passed over an hour ago and later was well on its way and still he waited.   Jonathan sat brooding at the kitchen table, the silence of the night loud about him.  He nursed the cup before him.  For a moment his mother stood watching silently from the doorway.  Her smile was gentle when she finally spoke. “What are you doing Jo-Jo?” Jonathan glanced up quickly, but not quick enough masking the pain in his eyes. “I couldn’t sleep so I came for a cup of warm milk.” She moved to his side and just as her oldest and dearest friend had done, she tenderly cupped his chin and turned him to face her.  She stared in his eyes and saw the pain.  She caressed his cheek as she spoke.  “Why would a man want warm white mike after he’s had hot chocolate?” She kissed his forehead gently as she had when he had been a child and without another word, she was gone.  Jonathan blinked and the pain in his eyes was replaced by shock.  He looked to the empty doorway then down at the white liquid in the cup before him. He rose from his seat, still staring into the cup.  With a shake of his head, he grasped the cup and moved to the sink.  A look of stubborn determination entered his eyes as he watched the pale watery liquid swirl down the drain.   Jonathan stood at the entrance of the cement tunnel observing Issy who sat with her head on her knees.  The wind whipped loudly about them.  “Issy.”  She stiffened at the sound of his voice. “Go away Jo-Jo.  I don’t want to talk with you.” He entered and stooped down beside her.  “Then just listen.” She turned away.  “I don’t want to listen.” “Issy.”  He tried again. “The name isn’t Issy.”  She turned on him.  “The name is Isabella damn it!”  In haste, she rose but he grabbed her by the leg.  She lost her balance trying to shake him loose, enabling him to draw her back down. “I’ve always called you Issy.” “You’ve always done a lot of things I hated, now let me go!” “Will you be still and listen for once?”  Jonathan felt his temperature rising. “I heard everything you had to say years ago... Jo-Jo.” “I had to leave.”  His voice softened.  “Didn’t you understand that?” Issy ceased her struggles and took a deep breath.  “I understood that you made a choice.”  She turned to face him.  “And it wasn’t me.”  Her voice was quiet. “You were so young... and my best friend’s baby sister.”  He sat back against the cold cement wall and closed his eyes. “I waited for you.  I waited for you right here, and you sent your brother.” “You were only sixteen Issy... Isabella and I couldn’t trust myself.” “But you trusted Jonah?” His eyes flew open as he stiffened.  “He didn’t...” Isabella’s laugh was without humor.  “Not for lack of trying.” “My God Issy, if I’d known...” She turned away.  “It doesn’t matter Jonathan, what’s past is past.  You made your choice and I’ve made mine.”  She moved to stand.  “You followed your path years ago and now I’ll follow mine.” Jonathan scrambled to his feet to stand beside her.  “We can start over.”  He reached out and touched her cheek.  She stood as though frozen under his caress.  “It’s okay now.  I...” “No it’s not.  I’m still Isabella Kingsley the little girl next door.  Your best friends baby sister.  Besides that, I simply don’t want you anymore.”  Her gaze was steady. “You don’t... you can’t mean...” “But I do Jo-Jo.  You should have thought things through before you started...”  She shook her head as though to clear it.  “Now you’ve given away what I wanted to someone else.  Consider the favor returned.”  She turned and move out the tunnel. Outside, the wind and rain soaked her before she could cover more than a few feet.  She was whirled about and landed hard against Jonathan’s chest.  The impact took her breath but didn’t move him.  Isabella drew back at the wild look in his eyes.  “Don’t you say that to me!”  He yelled in her face. “Let me go Jo-Jo.” “You can’t mean what you just said.” “Let me go Jo-Jo, just like you did years ago.”  Her voice shook as the storm in his eyes matched the one raging about them, whipping her coat against her legs. “Say you didn’t mean it.”  Jonathan shook her. “Stop Jonathan!” “Say you didn’t mean it!” “Please!”  Her tears mingled with the rain as she began to tremble.  “Let me go Jonathan.” He shook his head violently, his breathing ragged.  A crash of thunder startled the pair as lightening lit the sky.  Jonathan looked about wildly then began to pull Isabella back into the tunnel. “No Jonathan!”  She broke free and began to run only to be swept up into his arms.  Wildly she beat against him with hands and feet, causing him to lose his balance and fall in the wet grass.  Before she could scramble free, his hold tightened like iron bands about her as he determinedly moved into the tunnel. Isabella cried out as he trapped her between his body and the wall.  “Jonathan please stop.”  She sobbed. With a rough hand he forced her to look at him.  “Take it back Issy.” “Jo-Jo please.”  She pleaded, eyes closed against the tears. His voice broke when it came again as his body began to shake.  “Please, just take it back.”  He rested his head in the crook of her shoulder.  “Please just tell me it’s not true.”  He cried.  Jonathan slid down her body until he sat at her feet crying. Isabella opened her eyes and watched him, her own tears streaming as his wounded cries tore at her heart.  After a moment hesitation, she knelt and gathered him into her arms.  “Oh Jo-Jo.”  She rocked him like a child.   “Why?”  Jonathan searched the two defiant faces before him for an inkling of understanding and found none.  “Why does she have to go?”  The once quiet Samantha demanded yet again. Jonathan sighed as one weary.  “I’ve told you.  Issy has a job in California.” “But she has to be married, so you marry her.”  Alex insisted. “It’s not that easy.” “Why not?  Everyone says she loved you.”  Samantha fired back.  “You marry her and we’ll all go to California.” “Who is everyone?”  Jonathan questioned.  “It doesn’t matter... look, I know you like Issy but...” The kids didn’t allow him to finish.  “You ask her or we will.”  Alex issued the ultimatum. “And we will too.”  Samantha backed her brother.  Jonathan sighed deeper.   “Stop shouting at me.”  Isabella stomped down the stairs followed closely by an irritated Jonathan. “I haven’t raised my voice at you Jo-Jo.  I haven’t said a word.” “But you’re giving me some loud looks.” Isabella didn’t detour from her course to her truck with her bag.  “Go home Jo-Jo.” “Have you taken the time to think this through?  I mean how well do you know this man anyhow?” She tossed her bag in the rear seat and turned to face him.  “How well did you know Rachel?”  Jonathan turned away.  “For once face me Jonathan.  I promise I won’t scream or shout, I only want to understand.” When he turned he didn’t try to hide the tears in his eyes.  “I thought I was doing what was best.”  His voice was low. “Best for whom?”  Her tone was gentle. “For you.” “How so Jo-Jo?” “You were so young, so innocent.  Not only the next door neighbor but my best friends sister.  I should have never looked, much less touched.”  He looked away. “But you did.” “And wanted to do so much more.  But shouldn’t have.”  He ran a hand through his hair.  Isabella’s own fingers curled at the gesture.  She steeled herself and looked away.  His eyes turned back and devoured her profile. “Can you imagine how it made me feel to find out you had paid my date to take me to the prom?  Everyone knew... but me.” “I only wanted you safe.  I wanted someone I could trust.” “You could have taken me like I asked.” His laugh was void.  “I was the last one I could trust.” “So what happened?” “I don’t know, when I saw how close he was standing to you I just couldn’t take it.  In theory it worked but not when I saw the two of you on the dance floor.  My God, I should have never gone to the gym.  I should have stayed away.” “Well, it’s past now.  I have to get on the road.” “Don’t go Isabella.” Isabella froze.  “You’ve never called me by my name... willingly.” “Yes I have... that night.” She closed her eyes against the memory.  ‘I have to go.”  Her voice was choked.  She moved to open the drivers door but found him barring her way. “Do you remember?”  His breath caressed her ear.  “I do, everything.  The way you looked, your smell, your taste.”  His lips touched her ear and she drew in a sharp breath. “It’s past Jonathan, let it stay there.” He moved closed until she was trapped between the unyielding truck and an equally unyielding body.  “I can’t, I should but I can’t.  I keep wondering how it would have been if I’d followed through.  I can taste you even now.”  His voice was hoarse and he pressed in even closer. “I love you so much.  I always have.  I had no right to but I did and I do.”  He tasted her neck.  ‘It’s okay that I wasn’t the first.  It’ll be okay even if I’m not the next, just promise me if it ever ends that you’ll come back so I can be the last.” Isabella felt the wetness of his tears on her neck and her throat closed.  ‘Only promise me that.”  His body began to shake and she wrapped him in her arms.  “I know I have no right...” She kissed the cheek of the man she loved... had always loved.  “You’ll be the first.”  His arms went around her in a hold of desperation. “Yes, it’ll be as though it was the first time for both of us.”  He agreed. She shook her head “no.” and he drew back at the movement.  She caressed his jaw, her smile tinged with sadness.  “A funny thing happen on the way to my first affair.”  She stared in his eyes now grey with emotion.  “I kept remembering you.”  She pressed a soft kiss on his chin.  “You’ll be the first... and the last, how I’ve always dreamed.” A sob tore through Jonathan’s chest.  “You mean... I don’t deserve you.” “I know but you have me.  You always have.” Jonathan pressed her into the trucks side as he kissed her, releasing all the longing he’d held in all those years. When the need to breath made itself known, her voice was a whisper.  “You’re always pushing me into hard stuff.” “I’ll do better next time.”  He vowed. “You better.” As their lips joined yet again, the two were deaf to the loud cheers coming from the two front porches which held their family.  Mother Kingsley and Mother Bassett moved as one and met in the middle of the yard.  Linking arms, they turned and headed back towards Mother Kingsley’s house. “I’m glad that’s finally taken care of.”  Mother Bassett remarked. “I was beginning to wonder if it ever would be.” “Now, about Timon...”  The two mothers put their heads together.  “You know, Gomez’s daughter Karla...” “I know the one.”  Mother Kingsley smiled.  The two began to giggle like school girls.                                                                             
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