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Chapter 4. Future: Unknown

After hearing Knox's retreating footsteps, I look around my modest house. It was definitely by no means the pack house but it was home, even if it did need a good dusting.

My thoughts immediately drift to Nikolai. The old man that took me in as an infant and did his best to raise me, despite being clueless on how.

The old man that named me simply based on the color of my hair. The same old man that left me this house and who's memory brought a smile to my face.

I push myself off the door frame and start pulling off the sweats that didn't belong to me and head for my bathroom. I start the shower and don't bother waiting for the water to heat up before jumping in.

The cold water makes me yelp but the thought of washing off any remnants from the past couple of days is a welcome relief.

The damp wood smell of my bathroom is something I've long grown accustomed to but right now it was making feel a little queasy, a not so subtle reminder of my empty stomach.

I start to wash up and without any distractions, I find myself thinking about my ceremony. It all plays out in my head moment by moment as if it was being displayed through a projector.

I lean up against the cold tiles as my throat begins to tighten and in the security of my own space, I don't try to fight the emotions that come over me.

Tears begin to fall and are soon followed by audible sobs. Without any restraints, it pours out of me. I slide down into a sitting position and allow the warmth of the shower spray to offer me some kind of comfort.

'Winter..'

I jump at her voice. 'Aanika?!'

'Im here, Winter.'

Relieved cries come rushing out of me. I wrap my arms around my legs as if I'm hugging her and rest my head on my knees, never more thankful to hear her.. feel her.

'I'm so sorry, Aanika.'

'Asher chose this, not you.'

I can feel a sudden warmth, like the kind when I shift and it feels like I'm wrapped up in her cozy fir.

'I feel like a fool. I was not only relieved when I saw he was our mate but.. it made me happy too. I thought..'

Her growl vibrates throughout me, cutting me off before I could wallow out loud any further.

'He doesn't deserve us. He should have been honored to be chosen as our mate.'

Her words drag me out of my self pity but do little to help my pride as intended.

'Apparently, he thought otherwise.'

I can feel her agitation but she returns to her usual calm demeanor.

'I tried to reach you after I noticed Romulus wasn't acting normal but I couldn't get through. It was as if you shut me out.'

Wait.. did I inadvertently shut her out? I shake my head.

'The pull to focus on just Asher was so intense.. I didn't and I wouldn't. I tried to reach you too..'

She interrupts my rambling.

'I believe our line to each other may have just been weakened due to the strength of the mate bond and the need to complete it.'

That could be why she didn't answer when I thought she was bonding with Romulus.

'Did Romulus know?'

She snarls, disappointment evident in the sound.

'Even if he was somehow unaware of Ashers intentions, he would have felt them. He chose indifference'

I suddenly remember Alpha Mason's reaction.

'I think Asher knew he'd reject me if chosen, that's why he didn't show up like he promised and I believe Alpha Mason knew too.'

'It no longer matters who knew what'

She was right. Asher was a coward to not be honest with me. And yet, I still didn't know why.

'At least we still have each other, Aanika.'

She huffs.

'Fortunately enough for you, now get yourself up off of those dingy tiles before you need an antibiotic to clear up whatever infection your rear end gets from sitting on them.'

I wholeheartedly laugh and it was exactly what I needed. After feeling her retreat, I sigh.

Aanika always knew what to say, even if it was with as little words as possible. It was always enough.

I was a handful, needy even when we first unified. Being an orphan and somewhat of an outcast brought more to the mix than usual with our pairing but she nurtured what she could in me. As I got older, she knew when I needed that extra attention and when I didn't.

I take a deep breath and stand. I finish washing up, scrubbing hard in an attempt to remove some memories with it too before drying off and getting dressed.

I go into my bedroom and notice my phone I had left on my bed. I grab it before sliding in and wrapping myself up in my blanket.

I try to turn on my phone screen but it's dead. I reach for my charger and plug it in before sinking my head back into my pillows.

While Asher and I have never spoken about the possibility of being mates, rejections weren't just rare, they were frowned upon.

They change the very fate the Moon Goddess sees for you and possibly with severe consequences.

I think back to what Asher said. 'Whatever pack you orginate from.' He had never before made comments about the fact that I wasn't born in our pack but made sure to include it.

I would assume it played a role in the rejection but given that mates could be found within other packs and it wasn't abnormal, I'm not sure why it mattered unless he just said it to be cruel.

It was hard for me to imagine him being that way intentionally to me but I never thought he'd do what he did either.

Who knows what my fate is now. Asher broke my heart in more ways than one and if I ever had a second thought about being cursed before, I sure don't now.

I pull myself out of my thoughts and roll over picking up my phone. I turn it on and start to scroll through my notifications.

Asher's name catches my eye but I don't bother opening them. I see a few missed calls and texts from Emilie and I quickly read through them before calling her.

"Winter!"

"Emilie.. I'm okay."

"I'm so sorry, Winter.. I would have never thought.."

Not wanting to rehash it right now, I interrupt her. "I'm good.. I just got rejected, it's not like I was on my death bed."

There's a long pause and then we both laugh simultaneously. I might as well have been on my deathbed with how awful that was.

"They stopped me from going to you.. when it happened.. "

"It's okay, Emilie. What's done is done." Maybe I'll become one of those crazy cat ladies. Aanika would just love that.

"I'm just happy you're good. I miss you and want to see you.. you up for the bonfire tonight?"

With the exception of Asher, Emilie was the only other shifter I was really close with. While I was friendly with a handful of others, I definitely fulfilled the outcast role.

"I don't know, Em.."

"Will you think about it at least?"

"People already talk, this whole thing only adds fuel to their rumor mill and I'm not sure I have the energy"

"I know.. but it doesn't take a ton of energy to just ignore them."

Touche. "I'll think about it."

"Okay.. get some rest and hopefully I'll see you later."

We both hang up and I decide that a nap is never a bad idea. I close my eyes and soon drift off.

I suddenly startle but when I open my eyes, I can't see anything. It's pitch black, like staring at the back of your eye lids in dark room and I have this odd feeling like I'm floating.

The smell of wet, rotting earth fills my nostrils and there's a sudden drop of temperature, the chill seeping into my very bones. I'm obviously dreaming but weirdly concious of it.

The blanket of darkness is so thick, I feel swallowed up by it. I try to wake myself by flailing around and screaming but I can't move and no sound comes from my mouth.

I'm not just completely immobilized, I'm paralyzed in absolute terror.

My heart rate increases and I instinctively squeeze my eyes shut, the fear all but consuming me. I try to connect with Aanika but I can't even feel her.

I feel my body tug forward, as if being pulled on a string but I refuse to open my eyes. I try to swallow down my fear but surely my heart is going to give out any second.

My arms are suddenly yanked above my head and I'm pulled straight up into the air. The quick motion makes my stomach drop and my body jolts as my movement is quickly halted.

I don't feel pain or any type of restraints. I can feel my body but it's as if I can't control it.

My arms are still stretched above me and I can hear water dripping somewhere near me when a loud, ear piercing scream echoes all around me. A coppery smell of blood hits my senses and I fiercely try to thrash around but I'm unable to move a single muscle.

Tears start to well up in my eyes and I've resigned to the fact that this might just very well be how I die. I open my eyes to face whatever this is and when I do, I'm in my room, still tucked into my bed. I sit straight up and look around finding nothing abnormal.

After checking myself over, I let out the breath I was holding. I can feel Aanika so I plop down back onto my bed. "Mother of all f***s"

I literally thought I was going to die.. in a nightmare. I wonder if really vivid nightmares were a side effect of whatever my body went through during the rejection.

I grab my phone and I look at the time. The bonfire was probably in full swing.

I sigh and change my mind, especially after that s**t. I could use a drink or ten and honestly, people are going to talk regardless. Might as well hear some of it myself.

I send a text to Emilie letting her know I'll be there shortly when I notice the texts from Asher again. Despite my better judgement, I can't help but click on them.

-I'm sorry. -

-Why did you leave the pack house so soon? You may not be fully recovered.-

-Why are you ignoring me? -

-Is Knox with you?-

The audacity is unbelievable, even for him.

I click my phone off and jump up to get ready.

I settle on my favorite pair of curve hugging jeans and a white cropped top. After running a brush through my waist length hair and opting to leave it down, I throw on a pair of shoes and head out the door.

At least I dont have to worry about Asher being at the bonfire, he never goes. Apparently it's below him since he's a future Alpha. Though, I hope Xaden has other plans. I'm in no mood for him, not tonight.. not any night but especially not tonight.