Unwanted Marriage

baru 4

I froze my hand still on the doorknob and I suddenly feel dizzy.

"I don't care," I said, my voice shaking betrayed my efforts to sound tough.

"She made her choice. I've made mine. Now please, leave me alone."

Elina didn't move. I could see her shadow under the door, silent and motionless. "Ms. Coleman, I understand your anger. But, she wants to see you, before... before she dies."

"The doctor says she only has five months," Elina continued.

I clenched as my nails digging into my palms until they turned white.

"She didn't need me when she left me to face everything on my own. Why should I care about what she needs now?"

There was no reply, for a moment, I thought Elina was going to leave. But then she spoke again, softer this time, pleading. "Leave the past out of it, she is still your mother. And because, whether you want to admit it or not, I know you still care."

I leaned my head against the door, my mind rumbling.

"I can't," I whispered, more to myself than reply her.

"I will never stay with her."

"You don't have to stay, she won't force you, but please see her maybe one last time," Elina said gently.

"You just have to come now. For her. For yourself."

I closed my eyes, trying to block out the feelings that could make my defenses crumble.

"Miss Coleman," Elina said again, pulling me from my reverie. "Please."

I took a deep breath, my hand gripping the doorknob. Slowly, I turned it and opened the door. Elina stood there, her expression a mixture of relief and sympathy. She was younger than I expected, her short hair framing a stern face.

"I'll go," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

"But tell her not to force anything on me."

Elina nodded, as if she understood more than what I wanted to say.

"And yeah, I have to be back before seven in the evening," I said firmly.

"I'll drop you back here, don't worry."

I grabbed my coat from the hanger by the door and stepped outside, the cold morning air biting into my skin. I hugged myself as I followed Elina to the luxury car parked on my yard. Now my mind filled with various emotions that I couldn't explain. Everything felt off and made me uncomfortable.

***

Elina drove a fancy red car to a big house with a tall fence.

Honestly, I was shocked when I saw the mansion behind the gate. The big black gates opened by themselves, almost to say welcome—or maybe to show me I didn’t fit in here. The mansion was huge, maybe worth over ten billion dollars. And It showed a lot of money and power.

No wonder my mom left my dad for this life. Some women want this luxury, but I didn’t. I disliked rich men. To me, they saw women as things, not as people. They didn’t know real love and only cared about money and power. Before I could think about it, Elina turned off the car. We stopped at the big double doors. Elina got out and opened my door.

“ Next time, you don’t have to do that,” I told her sternly.

"I can open my own door.” I continued.

Elina said nothing. She just nodded, smile warmly, and took me to the house.

“Wait,” I said, realizing something.

“I thought we were going to the hospital. Why are we here?”

“Mrs. Spencer wants to be treated at home,” Elina said.

"She doesn’t want to be in a hospital at the end.”

“Oh,” I gasped unsure how to feel.

“I’ll show you her room,” Elina said, taking me inside.

A maid in a dark blue uniform opened a big door.

“Who’s this?” the maid asked Elina, her voice sharp, sneered at me.

“That’s not your damn business, Dorothy,” Elina said coldly, not even looking at the maid.

I followed Elina up a big staircase that curved in the center of the house. Everything was overwhelming—the crystal lights, fancy old furniture, and the vastness of it all.

"Mrs. Spencer must be waiting for you," Elina said when we reached the second floor.

I did not respond, as I was not sure if I was ready to see her. Right now some part of myself really wants to turn and run, but I know it's already way too late for that.

Elina leads me down a long hallway, with many rooms. The house is huge, with dozens of rooms. I'm not sure what this many rooms were made for.

"How many people are in this house?" I asked curiously.

Elina turned to me, "Many, I live here too. But there is one person who is the most annoying here..." She chuckled.

"Who?" For some reason I felt curious.

"You'll find out who when breakfast comes," she said and stopped in front of a large wooden door. Elina knocked gently, then opened the door and stepped aside.

"He's inside," Elina said softly.

"Take your time."

I hesitated for a moment, my hands shaking.

"You came," she smiled at me, that gentle smile I hadn't seen in a very long time.

I was stilled where I was standing, not sure what to say.

All my anger, pain, and questions seemed stuck in my throat.

I looked at her, feeling like a little girl again, a little girl missing her mother.

"I didn't think you would," I could feel her voice trembling and hoarse.

"I'm glad you're here."

I swallowed hard, trying to speak.

"I am here," I finally said.

"But I don't know why, you can't be happy yet, I'm doing this for me."

"Come here baby..."

"Don't call me that, just call me by my name," I snapped.

She held out her weak hand to me.

"I just wanted to see you one last time. To say I'm sorry. For everything."

I looked down, chasing away the tears that wanted to burst out.

For the first time in 15 years, I looking at the woman who left me and my dad, for something she said as true f*****g love.

"I don't know if I can forgive you," I said honestly.

"But I'm here. And that's something."

"That's enough," she whispered.

"It's enough for me, Thea."

"Clean yourself up, then we'll have breakfast together."

"I'm not hungry," I said quickly.

"Please, honey..." her eyes were hopeful. And I couldn't help but nod.

"Okay, just this once." I got up from my seat.

"Elina, please take my daughter to the guest room."

"I've prepared decent clothes for you."

I turned to her, there was a stinging feeling that offended me, "decent clothes? So my clothes are not decent in your eyes?"

"Well it's not as expensive as the food you eat every day Mrs. Spencer," I suddenly felt my eyes burning. My tears melted away. And I felt so insulted by my own mother's words.

"Thea, that's not what I meant, I just wanted you to..."

"I've told you many times, don't ever give me the things you bought with your new husband's money."

"Thea, please, forgive me...I didn't mean to..."

I didn't want to hear anything more from her, and fastly brought myself out from her room.

I ran with wet eyes, blurry vision as this damn tears didnt want to stop flowing. I just kept running, when suddenly I was losing my balance as I crashed myself into something....not something, but someone.

That someone strong hand gripped me tightly to keep me from tumble down the stairs.

"What the hell! Watch where you are going!" He screeched harshly.

I knew it was a man's voice and he sounded pissed. But I felt weirdly familiar with his voice. In very slow motion I raised my head, as I trying to regain my composure.

"Are you blind or something?!" His tone sharp filling with arrogancy.

But his mouth suddenly closed, he gasped when our eyes met.

"Mr. Z!"

"Angel!" We screamed in unison.

What the f**k.

At that time all I wanted to do was just to dissapear and wipe myself off the globe.