The Edge of Hope

Chapter 8

Six months later

The pop of the champagne bottle and cheers filled the living room of Carol’s house, with her, Gabe, Hope and Sal celebrating the final submission of Hope’s masters.

She was finally done. She couldn’t quite believe it herself but here she was, champagne in her glass surrounded by the most important people in her life.

“Thank you all so much for being here,” Hope said. “I know I was difficult to deal with sometimes but I couldn’t have done it without anyone standing in this room. Everyone believed in me and never gave up. Sal, thank you for giving me the opportunity to study. Carol, thank you for giving me s**t when I wanted to give up. I am the luckiest woman alive because finally, I have a family that loves me.”

“Hear! Hear!” everyone cheered in unison and took a sip of the bubbly drink.

Hope turned to Gabe, and his arm wrapped around her waist. “Gabe, I lacked so much finesse when I asked you to help me but you still agreed. We hit a few bumps on the way, and I’m sure we’ll hit plenty more, but I don’t doubt for a second that we will push through and if we can make it through the library closing and opening three times, missing one submission date and a relationship, I think we can manage anything.”

Everyone raised their glasses and carried on their conversations with each other. Carol peered over at Hope with an odd smile on her face, one she couldn’t place. She brushed it off and turned to Gabe but he wasn’t there.

She spun around in a circle and frowned. She walked over to Carol. “Did you see where Gabe disappeared to? He was there and then he wasn’t.”

Carol just shrugged and took a sip of her drink, clearly feigning ignorance. “I don’t know where he is. He’s your man.”

Hope glared at her friend and when she was about to go look for him, he came back into the room with a huge box that had an oversized bright pink bow on top. She could barely see Gabe behind the box bar his long legs. He peeked out from the side and smiled.

“Special delivery for a…” Gabe pretended to look at a label and then looked around the room, “Hope Whitfield. Is there a Hope Whitfield in the room?”

She walked up to him and placed the box down gently. “Don’t be a smart ass.”

He just smiled and gestured to the box. “Open it.”

Everyone stood around and waited, they seemed to be bursting with excitement.

She carefully removed the bow and lifted the lid. Hope was confused at the smaller box inside, far smaller than the one she was given.

She looked up at everyone and raised an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

Everyone burst out laughing and Hope couldn’t help the giggle that escaped.

“Guys, come on, what is this?”

“Just open the damn box, Hope,” Carol exclaimed.

Hope reached in and inspected the box. It was plain and black, understated, definitely unlike the box it came in. She lifted the lid and sucked in a breath when she saw a set of car keys inside.

She looked up again making eye contact with everyone. “Car keys?”

“Yep, to your new ride. You’re up and down constantly, so we thought this would make your life easier, especially now that you’ll start working soon,” Sal said.

She recognized the VW logo and started shivering with excitement. “Are you serious?”

Gabe put an arm over her shoulder and ushered her toward the front door. “Let’s go have a look.”

Everyone followed, and when Hope saw the VW beetle in light green standing in the driveway, polished to perfection, she let out a squeal.

She ran and circled the car. She couldn’t believe her eyes. She had always wanted one and this one was in mint condition.

Hope walked back to the group with a bounce in her step. “This is my present? Like, seriously, it’s mine?”

Sal stepped forward and enveloped Hope in a big bear hug. She nearly disappeared into his big frame. He released her and smiled. “I am so proud of you, Hope. You can’t even begin to understand how proud I am. You came into that diner ten years ago, lost, broken and fragile. And now, you’re a strong, accomplished and independent woman. I have never known such strength and if there is anyone who can help others to find that strength in themselves again, it’s you.”

Hope threw herself at Sal again, whimpering incomprehensible words. She stepped back and wiped her tears. “This is the best present I have ever received. Thank you, all of you.”

“I say we go back and celebrate some more,” Carol motioned for the door and everyone headed back inside, a night of champagne, cake and laughter chasing away the shroud of darkness that had hung over Hope for as long as she could remember. It was completely gone, for the first time in her life, she was free.

There was nothing that could take this happiness away from her.

*****

Gabe lay in bed, the sun only just starting to peek over the horizon. He smiled and turned his head to look at Hope, fast asleep and snoring ever so slightly. It was the cutest thing and it was even cuter because she insisted that she didn’t snore.

He checked the time and decided he should do some work before Hope woke up.

He had finally found a new job at a private facility in the next city over, but they allowed him to work from home a few days a week.

They hadn’t lost faith in him, and seeing as he had a new sense of hope, he was convinced that he could reform to his former glory.

He was still a bit at a loss for a research topic, but he in the meantime helped the other doctors with theirs, acting as a supervisor of sorts. The facility didn’t mind at all.

He opened his laptop and started reading through reports of a young, but promising doctor looking at the effects of contact sport and brain damage and the behavioural changes thereof.

It had been just over a year since Hope had finished her master’s. She had passed with a distinction of course and had already been offered a spot in the doctoral program. She said she wanted to wait a bit but would let them know the following intake.

Gabe felt so much pride for her. She had quit her job at the diner when she was offered a position to be a school psychologist. She didn’t hesitate. Sal was sad to see her go but he would’ve never held her back.

So much had changed. There was still one more thing he wanted to change, though and that was her physical address. He had had an extra key made a month ago and was just waiting for the right time to ask.

He heard movement from his bedroom and Hope shuffled out, still half asleep and walked straight to the kitchen, simply grunting at Gabe as she walked past his office.

He huffed in amusement and shook his head. She was useless to talk to in the mornings he had come to learn.

Several minutes later, a coffee mug was placed in front of him and a kiss on his cheek.

“Morning, sunshine,” Gabe said, wrapping his arm around Hope’s legs.

“What you working on?”

“That doctor with the contact sports research. He’s done really well so far.”

“Well, he has a great mentor,” Hope said in Gabe’s ear, causing goosebumps to cover his skin.

He turned to her and she kissed him. All rational thought left his mind as he got lost in her sweet kiss.

Gabe’s work was abandoned in favour of Hope and a day spent under the covers, something he knew he would never turn away.

They didn’t get out of bed until well into the afternoon. While lying there, another thought occurred to Gabe about what else he wanted to change.

He smiled and closed his eyes. There was no way she would refuse.

*****

“I don’t know, Dan, I really don’t think it’s her style.” Gabe rubbed his hands together, trying to ease the tension.

“Well, what is her style? Because I don’t know a single woman that would say no to a three-karat diamond.”

“She would. It’s not her, at all. She likes delicate, vintage-style jewellery. Not that she even wears that much of it.”

The sales lady behind the counter chimed in. “If you’re looking for something understated, may I suggest this one?” She pulled out another tray and showed him a ring that looked to be white gold, the band adorned with tiny diamonds, getting smaller as they got to the top, where a few bigger diamonds were placed to look like a flower. Fine filigree work could be seen from the side, holding up the flower design and finishing off the delicate ring with a vintage, yet modern look.

Gabe took the ring and inspected it all around. The longer he looked at it, the more he was convinced that this was the right one.

“This is perfect,” whispered Gabe, the reality of the situation set in. Unsolicited memories rushed in of the first time he bought a ring. Nowhere near as extravagant, but he felt just as nervous, just as excited. Obviously, it had all gone to s**t, but he was adamant that it would work out this time.

Dan let out a low whistle. “That is nice. I think that will do,” Dan smacked the back of Gabe’s shoulder. “You should get it.”

Gabe stood staring at the ring for a good thirty seconds before he looked up and asked the saleswoman how much it was. He nearly dropped the ring when he heard.

“We do offer payment plans, sir. There are three, six or twelve month options, interest-free,” she assured him. “We want you to walk out with your dream ring and a happy future wife.”

The smile on her face was sickening, and Gabe could only see dollar signs in her eyes, but of all ten shops they’d been to, this was the closest to what he had in mind.

Dan groaned next to him. He excused himself from the saleswoman and pulled Gabe aside. “Talk to me, man. What’s going on?”

Gabe thought for a second before answering. “The last time I did this, it ended with my heart being broken and a complete distrust in women.” He put his hand up when Dan was about to interject and spoke again, “I’m not saying I don’t trust Hope. Of course, I do. I wouldn’t have stayed with her for over a year if I didn’t. I just… I can’t help it.”

Dan looked thoughtfully at his friend. “You know, you’re not as hard-ass as I thought you were.”

“Excuse me?”

“I understand why this is bringing up bad memories, but are you really going to let that b***h of an ex-wife have this kind of power over you? Are you going to let her get in the way of possibly the best thing that’s ever happened to you?”

Gabe felt his temper rising. He knew Dan had a point, but to hear it out loud set off a trigger. “I am not giving her any power over me,” he growled.

“Yeah, you are. Otherwise, you would have walked out with that ring already and been on your way to Sal to ask for his blessing.”

The two of them stared each other down for ten seconds before Gabe finally gave in. He rubbed a hand over his face and swore. “I just don’t want this to be a f**k up. I won’t survive having my heart ripped out again.”

“I know. But Hope loves you. Any i***t could see that.”

“Like you?”

Dan laughed and ushered his friend back to the saleswoman who by now looked rather weary. “Yeah, like me.”

Gabe pulled out his credit card and handed it over. “No payment option, put it through once, thank you.”

“Would you like a velvet box to go with it? We have a variety of colours.”

Gabe pursed his lips, and an idea popped into his head. “That’s alright, just a normal box for now.”

Once the payment had been approved, much to Gabe’s relief, they headed out to go have lunch at a burger restaurant.

“You don’t want to go to the diner? You can ask Sal while we’re there,” Dan said as they sat down.

“I just need to get my s**t together first.” He hid his face behind the menu. He knew the tension was palpable on his face.

As Gabe ate, he couldn’t stop thinking about the ring in his pocket. It felt like a lead weight weighing him down. It was wrong to feel this way. He knew it was what he wanted, and he knew Hope was his endgame.

Yet, the impending feeling of something terrible waiting to happen didn’t lift. Hope would also pick up that something was off and well, that could put the whole proposal in jeopardy.

He dropped the menu slightly and looked at Dan who had an expectant look on his face. “Sorry, what?”

“Jesus, Gabe, is it really that bad?”

“It’s fine, just drop it. What did you say?”

“I asked how you plan on doing it.”

Gabe let out a breath and laughed. “Get down on one knee and ask her.”

Dan shook his head and smiled. “I’m not claiming to be an expert here, but I’m sure women expect a bit more than that.”

“Do you want me to hang upside down from a tree and ask her?”

“If she’s into that kind of thing,” Dan saluted Gabe with a fork full of fries and dropped some before he could take a bite.

While he tried to collect them on the fork again, Gabe spoke up. “What’s going on with you and Carol? You guys have been on and off for a year now.”

Dan stuffed the fries in his mouth as he answered, completely muffling his words.

“And you say I’m not hard-assed?” Gabe teased.

Dan swallowed and took a sip of his drink. Finally, he responded with an exacerbated sigh. “She keeps cutting things off with me and calling me up two weeks later, saying it was a mistake, blah blah blah.” Dan dropped his fork down with a loud clunk and rubbed his eyebrows. “I want her, Gabe, I really do but I don’t want to be played like a f*****g violin, either.”

“Then tell her that. She’s a flighty person but if she’s still chasing you, then maybe there’s still hope.”

“Can’t you talk to Hope? Ask her to speak to Carol.”

“Ok, no. You will grow a pair and go talk to Carol yourself.”

Dan sighed again and nodded his head. “Yeah, suppose I should. Should we get going?”

“Yeah, I’ve got a lot of work to do.”

Gabe was in a haze for the rest of the day, suddenly his courage to ask Hope to marry him dissipated.

*****

Hope sat across from Gill Heathers, a seven-year-old girl who had been struggling with her grades and over-sensitivity issues, supposedly. She had nearly snapped at the teacher who said that and wanted to tell her exactly where to shove that opinion, but she was a professional.

“What do the kids say to you that upsets you the most?”

Gill wiped her nose with her hand, abandoning the countless tissues Hope kept offering her. She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know.”

Hope had been trying to get something out of her for the last thirty minutes and was exhausting every approach in her arsenal. She was running out of time but didn’t want to send her away with at least one bit of information to work on.

“Ok, Gill, let’s go sit down in the corner for a second. I want to show you something.”

She motioned for the child to sit in a corner that she had set up with blankets, pillows, teddy bears and all kinds of interactive games. It was a way to see where the issue actually lay, whether they were emotional issues or learning problems.

“Do you like teddies?”

Gill nodded her head as she looked around, her eyes landing on the pink unicorn with a sparkly horn and rainbow mane and tail. Hope picked it up and handed it to her as they sat down.

“I like unicorns, too,” Hope smiled. “If you could have one as a pet, what would you name it?”

Gill looked up, deep in thought. A smile took over and she blurted out, “Sparkles!”

“That’s a good name, I think. Well, why don’t we name this one Sparkles? And you can hold her whenever you’re here.”

Hope’s heart warmed as the smile got even wider on her face. Gill cuddled the unicorn closer to her and whispered, “You’re my new best friend.”

Hope had managed to keep herself emotionally distant enough from her students, but something about what Gill said made her eyes mist over. She cleared her throat and thought of a way to get her to talk.

“I have a best friend, too. Her name is Carol. And I tell Carol everything. Whatever makes me happy, what makes me sad or angry. And she tells me, too.”

Gill’s aqua blue eyes bore into Hope and she held her breath.

“What makes you sad?” Gill asked softly, her head still cuddled into the unicorn.

Oh, thank God. We’re getting somewhere.

“I get sad when people are mean to me. They say nasty things like I’m too short, or my skin is too pale. They used to call me a vampire sometimes.”

Gill pulled a face. “I don’t like vampires.”

“Me neither, and that’s why it made me sad. They said it made me ugly.”

“I think you’re really pretty.”

Hope let out an embarrassed giggle and made a note that Gill responded well to the relation of her experiences.

“Thank you, Gill. See, that makes me happy.”

The little girl giggled and put the unicorn in her lap, just staring at it. Hope didn’t want to push her so she waited.

Finally, Gill spoke up. “One of the girls chased me. She said she was going to cut my hair off.”

Hope noted the long, thick blonde hair flowing down in pigtails. A disturbing thought occurred to her. “Gill, did she have scissors in her hand when she was chasing you?”

The girl merely nodded and hid again in the unicorn. Anger flared through Hope. What the f**k?

“Does Mrs Norman know?”

“I told her, but Nell didn’t have the scissors in her hands so she said I was lying.”

Hope struggled to write down her notes as her hands started shaking, slowly becoming enraged. She remembered being told the same thing when she was younger. That she was lying just to get others in trouble.

She took a deep breath and moved closer to Gill. “Do you want me to talk to Mrs Norman? I’m sure she’ll believe me.”

“Do you believe me?” Gill asked, her eyes glossing over.

“Of course, I do, Gill. I believe you.” Hope waited to see what she would do next. She wouldn’t speak to the teacher without her permission. She had a feeling it wouldn’t make a difference but what kind of psychologist would she be if she didn’t try?

“Ok. You can tell her. Please don’t tell her I told you to.”

“I won’t. I promise.” Hope heard the bell ring and stood up. “Alright, Gill, you’ve got to get to your next class.”

She stood up and held the unicorn out for Hope to take. “You know what, Gill? When school’s done, why don’t you come past here and get Sparkles? I think she’ll be far happier at home with you.”

Gill’s eyes lit up like Christmas morning and she jumped up and down. “Really? I get to keep her?”

“You do, but only come after school, ok?” Hope didn’t want the other students seeing as that could potentially cause bigger issues.

“Thank you, Miss Whitfield!” Gill bounded past her and out the door of her small office.

She knew treating her differently was a bad idea. But Hope had seen so much of herself in her that it was difficult to place boundaries.

She fell down into her seat and huffed. She grabbed her phone and dialled Gabe’s number. It rang until it went to voicemail. He must be busy, she thought.

She decided to go to the teacher’s lounge and make some tea before her next student in forty minutes.

While waiting for the kettle to boil, Hope saw Mrs Norman, Olga, walking in and she had a sudden urge to throw the kettle at her, boiling water and all.

How could she say that? How could she just assume and leave it?

Next thing, Olga was standing next to Hope and took the kettle before she could use it.

“Thanks, Hope,” she said sarcastically. That was it, Hope couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“Did you tell Gill Heathers that she was lying about Nell chasing her with scissors?” she hissed, making sure no one else heard them.

Olga gave Hope a condescending look and placed a hand on her arm. Hope resisted the urge to yank her arm away.

“Hope, sweetie, I know you’re still young and new. One day you’ll learn that kids lie and say stupid things.”

Olga turned to walk away but Hope grabbed her and nearly yanked her backwards.

“What the hell are you talking about?” By now, the whole lounge had picked up something was happening, considering Olga hadn’t kept her voice down.

“Hope, just let it go. She’ll get over it.”

“No. she won’t! The poor girl would barely talk to me she was so afraid. She thought I would brush her off just like you’re doing now.” Hope turned around and faced everyone else, nothing holding her back now.

“Is this what this school stands for? Did any of you actually become teachers because you care about kids or because you get weeks of holidays every year?”

Another teacher tried to interject but Hope pointed at her and sneered, “Don’t you f*****g dare.”

“Hope.”

The whole room stilled. She couldn’t help the tears coming out, and the look in the principal’s eyes made her cringe.

“My office, now.” With that, he left. Everyone stared at her, but it was Olga’s arrogant expression that really got to her.

Hope slowly walked out, trying to calm down and not dig herself any further into this hole.

She stood outside his office for a minute before she knocked on the solid wooden door.

“Come in.”

Hope peered around the door first, then timidly said, “You wanted to see me, Mr Howards?”

He motioned for Hope to take a seat in front of his oversized oak desk. He was a very intimidating man at six foot four and he was as wide as Hope was tall, purely muscle.

She held her lips between her teeth and daren’t speak until she was spoken to. She felt like a student getting into huge trouble. Well, the latter was true.

“Do you want to explain what happened in the lounge today?”

“I’m sorry, Mr Howards, I…”

“I didn’t ask for an apology, I asked you to explain what happened.”

Hope cleared her throat and sat up straight. “I approached Mrs Norman about a student, Gill Heathers, in her class that saw me today. She had been chased around with a pair of scissors by Nell. But when Gill went to tell Mrs Norman about it, she told her she was lying, simply because Nell didn’t have scissors in her hands at that exact moment.”

Mr Howards didn’t say a word, so Hope took that as her chance to continue. “I just wanted to find out what happened and when I approached her, she had the audacity to tell me that I will learn that kids lie and Gill will just get over it.” Hope’s voice started to get higher in pitch, but she didn’t stop herself. “I just couldn’t believe it. Gill was really upset by the whole thing and I just don’t understand why people become teachers if they don’t care for kids?”

Mr Howards had his hand on his chin, scratching the burly beard. “I see, Ms Whitfield. I can’t say I know Gill well as a student but I’ve never had any issues with her before. Nell on the other hand has been in my office a few times already, especially for bullying other students. I will chat to Mrs Norman.”

Hope sagged into her seat slightly. “Thank you, I really appreciate it. And I am sorry for how I acted. I just really don’t understand why…”

Mr Howards put his hand up, silencing Hope. “There are some things that can never be explained, Hope. I know you’re passionate about helping these kids and finding justice, but this isn’t an ideal world we live in. You’re very good at what you do. Don’t jeopardise your job because of one arrogant teacher. I would hate to lose you.”

Hope was shocked, to say the least at his kind words. He was never one to give out compliments. “And I love being here. Thank you.”

She left the office feeling slightly better but now she was exhausted. She sighed when she remembered she left her tea in the lounge.

‘Whatever,” she mumbled to herself and headed back to her office where she sat with the unicorn teddy bear until her next student arrived.