Still pretending to be asleep, I pressed myself a little closer to Alexander’s white, soft fur, and I felt free to touch him, to give him the reassurance of my presence somehow. It was just a small, insignificant brush, without intention, but I could clearly feel his heart beating hard beneath layers and layers of fur and thick skin. I let my fingers slide slowly between the sedated strands of white wool on his abdomen, finding underneath the hard muscles shaped by tension and training. I don’t know if he noticed that I was conscious, but touching him calmed me.
There were many painful things there, and I had the faint impression that more pain was still to come.
In the end, I did fall asleep. I know because when I opened my eyes again, it was a little darker than before, and I felt numb
