To The Lovable You

BEGINNING

"I'm sorry."

The rain poured mercilessly, each drop crashing to the ground without a care for the world. Liza held the umbrella above me, shielding me from the relentless downpour. But my attention was fixed on him—Cassian—kneeling on the wet ground, his trembling hands clasped together as if in prayer.

"I'm so sorry, Sera," he said, his voice breaking with each syllable. It was as if he was praying to God, but this time, I would be the one to judge him. "For everything—for leaving, for hurting you, for breaking you when you deserved nothing but love."

I wanted to laugh, but no sound came out. My chest tightened, as if memories of pain and anger I had long buried were strangling me in silence. His eyes met mine, tears brimming as he continued, "You have no idea how much I regret it. Every single day, Sera."

"Regret?" I said at last, my voice cold and unyielding. "Do you even know what regret feels like? Because I do. I regret ever letting you into my life. Do you know what it's like to be called useless by your own family while mourning the loss of the one person who promised never to leave you?"

The pain was evident from his face, and his voice cracked as he tried to respond. "I was a fool-"

"A fool?" I cut him off with a short, hollow laugh. "No, Cassian. You weren't just a fool. You were selfish. While you were out living your life, I was left to pick up the pieces of mine. I was fighting to survive the mess you left me in."

His head bowed lower, shoulders trembling under the weight of my words. "I know," he whispered, his voice barely audible over the rain. "God, I know. I don’t deserve forgiveness, but even just a little… just a little, Sera. I’ll do anything to make it right."

I watched him crumble—the once-proud man I loved now reduced to this—a shadow of his former self, drenched and desperate. But forgiveness? That was something I couldn’t give, not when his betrayal still felt like a fresh wound.

"I know I don't deserve to come back like this," he said, his voice barely audible over the pounding rain. "I know I don’t deserve anything from you—not your forgiveness, not even your time. But after almost dying, I realized one thing, I want to be with you. If I’m going to die one day, I want to die loving you, caring for you, and building the family we once dreamed of."

His words should have stirred something inside me, but why did I feel nothing? I stared down at him, the rain dripping from his face, his once-arrogant demeanor completely shattered. He was nothing more than a broken man clinging to the idea of redemption.

The dangerous and proud man who used to stride into any room with an air of invincibility was now kneeling like a broken dog, begging for scraps of mercy.

"I want to fix this, Sera," he continued, his eyes bloodshot, his voice desperate.

"I want to spend whatever time I have left proving to you that I'm not the same man who walked away. I know I ruined us, and if I could go back in time, I'd do everything differently. But I can't, and that kills me every single day. Please, Sera... let me make it up to you."

I laughed at his ridiculous words. "Haaah," I breathed. "You want us to fix things?" I asked, my voice flat and cold. "You want to build a family with me now? After everything you’ve done? Now you want to play house?"

He remained silent, his lips pressed into a thin line as if every word burned his throat. Slowly, he nodded, his trembling hand reaching out as though to touch me but stopping short, curling into a fist. His knuckles turned white from the force of his grip.

"That’s right," I said sharply, my voice cutting through the air like ice. "Feel hopeless. Feel small. Because that’s exactly how you made me feel."

My heels clicked against the pavement as I stepped forward, the sound echoing like a warning of disaster. I met his gaze, my eyes sharp and unforgiving. "You’re not the man I loved, Cassian. You’re just a shadow of him—a broken shell of someone who doesn’t even deserve to breathe the same air as me."

He nodded slightly, his head bowed once again. "Yes... I know I don't deserve anything from you, but still, I came back. Despite knowing how you’d treat me, I came back because I still love you, Sera. I never stopped. I was just too much of a coward to admit it before. I let my pride and my fear ruin us."

"You're just a coward, Cassian," I spat, my tone sharper than the cold wind around us. "Coward doesn’t even begin to describe what you were. You left me to pick up the pieces of a life you destroyed. I was stuck in hell, trying to survive."

He flinched, his knuckles whitening as his fist tightened. This time, he didn’t respond, as though my words had finally pierced whatever defenses he had left. The rain continued to fall, the cold biting into my skin, but I didn’t care. I stood there, towering over him, knowing no apology could ever erase the pain he caused.

I scoffed, shaking my head. "Love? You call this love? You ruined me, Cassian. You broke me into pieces so small I couldn’t even recognize myself—"

"I know I hurt you," he interrupted, his voice breaking, tears now streaming down his face. "I was cruel. I was blind. I was a fool and a coward for leaving you. I didn’t see how much you loved me, how much you fought for us. And I’ll regret that for the rest of my life."

I stared at him—the tears, the broken voice, the pitiful sight of him kneeling before me. This was the same man who once made me believe in forever, the one who turned my life into a living hell when he walked away.

Now, he looked nothing like the dangerous, confident man I used to love.

"You know what’s funny, Cassian?" I said, tilting my head. "You think words are enough. You think your regret, your tears, your ‘near-death experience’ give you the right to come back and ask for forgiveness. But no amount of regret will erase the pain you caused me. Nothing will ever make me forget how cruel you were."

His shoulders shook, and for the first time, he had nothing to say. He was just a broken, defeated man kneeling before me, begging for a second chance he would never get.

"You think saying sorry is enough to fix everything?" I said coldly, my arms crossed as I glared down at him. "Do you even understand the damage you caused, Cassian? Do you even realize what you put me through?"

"I know," he whispered, his voice trembling. "And I regret it every single day. Sera, please, I’m begging you. Let me make it up to you. I’ll do anything."

I shook my head, laughing bitterly. "You’ll do anything? You think you can erase years of pain with a few tears and promises? Do you know how pathetic you look right now? The Cassian I knew was dangerous and confident. But this?" I gestured toward him, kneeling on the ground like a broken man. "This is pathetic."

"Sera..." His voice cracked as he reached for me, but I stepped back.

"No," I snapped. "You don’t get to touch me. You don’t get to come back into my life just because you feel guilty. Guilt doesn’t change anything, Cassian. Guilt doesn’t undo the nights I spent crying myself to sleep. It doesn’t take away the shame of being called useless by my own family. And it sure as hell doesn’t fix what you broke."

He bowed his head, his shoulders shaking as he sobbed. "Please know I’ve always loved you."

"Love?" I laughed bitterly, the anger clear in my voice. "You call this love? f**k your love! Let me remind you that love doesn’t leave, love doesn’t destroy, and love doesn’t come crawling back only when it’s convenient! Don’t you dare call this love."

I leaned closer, my voice dropping to a deadly whisper. "You want forgiveness? Earn it. You want me back? Prove you’ve changed. But don’t expect me to make it easy for you. You don’t get to break me and walk away without consequences."

He looked up at me, his face pale and his eyes desperate. "I’ll do anything, Sera. Just tell me what to do."

I straightened, my expression cold and unyielding. "Start by standing up and leaving me alone. Because right now, Cassian, you don’t deserve even a second of my time."

With that, I turned away, my heart hardened against his pleas. If he wanted to prove himself, he’d have to fight harder than this. And I wasn’t about to make it easy for him.

You don’t hurt Seraphina Garcia De La Vega without facing the consequences, and I’d make sure he felt every single one.