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Chapter 3: Determination

The dress had been cleaned in my absence and I stand, once again before the mirror in my room. We would have a small ceremony where my father “gives” me away and the pack blesses our union. Once we arrive in Gwandeong, the residence of the Ryeok Clan, we will have a larger ceremony. My family? Not invited.

My father is the one to walk me down the stairs to the large ballroom. His energy pushes against me in silent warning, but I have no intention of running away again. The fact that I got off so easily, is a lucky enough break for me. Any more tricks on my end would result in possible mutilation or worse. I walk obediently at his side and when the doors open, I am greeted by soft music, golden candlelight, and a mixture of different pheromones. Despite the hundreds of people in attendance, I spot Chan-Il in the crowd. He is perched against one of the stone pillars and staring blankly towards the opposite end of the room. Out of all of the pheromones penetrating my senses, his stands out the most. My wolf rumbles softly inside of me, drawn to that corner of the room.

I am unaware that I have strayed from the walkway towards him until my father yanks me back against his side. His grip becomes tighter and he says through clenched teeth, “Don’t embarrass me again! Eyes forward!” My body tenses and I turn my attention back to Chan-Yung. He is dressed in a very flattering dark suit and crimson tie. His silver hair is brushed neatly into a ponytail and his different colored-eyes stare with boredom at me. I know he saw me drift towards his brother, but his indifference is more unsettling. My skin prickles when I finally arrive at the altar and he reaches for my hand.

My father turns me to look at him and for the first time in a long time, I see concern and gentleness in his eyes. He had loved me once. He had loved all of us once. But the betrayal turned his heart to stone. I did not realize until that moment how much I missed him. His hazel eyes, his musky scent, and his booming voice when he laughs rush through my mind in a plethora of forgotten memories. This man is my father. I think somewhere along the way, we both forgot that.

He studies my face for a long moment until someone clears their throat. It was a female voice, possibly his new Luna. His eyes cloud over and he places a rough kiss on my forehead. He turns me back to my Chan-Yung and pushes me into his waiting arms. Yung holds both of my waists and I wince as he presses into my pelvic bone. I could tell from that small gesture that he had noticed my slight, and would not let it go so easily. He takes my hands and my wolf recoils. I stand firm and force myself to smile at the man I would share my first time with.

My father stands beside Lord Ryeok and Ha-Rae, and his new Luna, Tyrannie ( a fitting name) stands behind him. I see his hand behind his back, holding her hand. I turn to Lord Ryeok and he still has that calm, gentlemanly smile on his face. Ha-Rae looks amused and Tyrannie looks content. I glance around the altar for my mother, but she is nowhere to be seen. I turn towards the crowd and I see her, my stepfather, and my siblings huddled together a good distance away from the rest of the pack. The vassals of Lord Ryeok stand around them like guards, but I am sure it is more to show they are outsiders to the rest of the pack than for actual protection.

I feel a sense of outrage deep inside and I turn to my father and Lord Ryeok. I would not let this clear outcasting of my mother go unaddressed. “May I ask for my mother to join me here at the altar?”

The silence that follows my words is deafening. I can see my father’s muscles tensing with controlled rage. Tyrannie’s face turns sour. Ha-Rae continues to look amused and Lord Ryeok’s smile falters a bit. I refuse to take back my statement. No matter what my mother did to deserve this treatment, she is still my mother. My only family. The one who loves me the most out of all of the people in this room. She deserves to be at my side. I deserve to have her there.

“She is not a part of a pack, My Dear. She is an outsider.” Lore Ryeok says in a reasonable tone.

“She is my mother.” I defend. Lord Ryeok’s smile falls completely, and the first signs of impatience color his face. My father takes a step forward, but Tyrannie holds him at bay. I look at Chan-Yung and his face is a blank, beautiful mask. He is going to be my husband, surely he can indulge me a bit. “Chan-Yung, please? I can’t do this without her.” I allow the tears I had been holding back to fill my eyes and flow down my cheeks. I know he is dangerous and cruel, my instincts tell me that, but he has to keep up appearances. He smiles, but the expression does not reach his eyes. He wipes away my tears and I force myself not to recoil.

“My wife says she wants her mother to stand with her. I cannot refuse.” He turns to the vassals and waves once. One of them bows his head and offers my mother his hand. My mother, looking afraid, takes it and walks with him to stand at my back, closest to my father and Tyrannie. I can feel the tension flowing from my mother. I take one hand from Chan-Yung and reach for hers. She takes my hand and gives my fingers a silent squeeze. The tension slowly leaves her body and she moves to put her hand on my shoulder. I find a strength I did not realize I had within me and my wolf stops cowering when I look at Chan-Yung again. Something like uncertainty flashes across his face, but it is only for an instant. He is composed once again as Lord Ryeok and my father read our sacred rites.

“Tonight, under the new moon, two souls join as one. With the blessings of the Clans, we send these young people into an unknown future. For our prosperity, for our strength, for our futures, they will carry the burdens of all who came before and all who come after. By the light of the stars, we beseech the gods to honor their union and never stray from their sacred bond. Alpha and Luna, seal your souls.” The words are spoken clearly and with the power of two Alphas. My soul trembles with the energy that presses on me and I draw closer to Chan-Yung. Our lips meet and it feels as though ice has been thrown against my heart. The kiss itself is tender, but the power within it is lethal. He is claiming my entire being, sucking my wolf to the surface and forcing a mark upon her. I feel the icy fire of the first mark penetrate some part of my soul and search for a place to latch on to. I use every ounce of energy I have to surround my wolf with protection and push the mark out and back into the body it came from. Chan-Yung sucks in a sharp breath and I feel teeth pierce my inner lip. I taste blood and we pull away from each other.

We are breathing quickly and blood pools inside of my mouth. I swallow the bitter liquid in an attempt to keep what had almost happened from the room at large. I hear a chorus of cheers and excited growls, but they are dulled by the heated gaze in Chan-Yung’s eyes. They are crazed, inhuman. I know he wants to hurt me, to dominate me. His grip on my hand is crushing and I can feel my bones rubbing together beneath my skin. I start to feel faint, but the scent of honeysuckle surrounds us and my mind clears. My wolf settles into a sleepy calm and I collapse against my mother. She holds me tightly, but rough hands pull us apart. My father pushes me against Chan-Yung and throws my mother to the ground. My mind is too hazy to react, but whatever joy my “union” brought has been snuffed out. Nothing but heavy silence remains as Chan-Yung holds me against him, digging his nails into my shoulders. I can feel them about to penetrate my skin before the grip loosens and the smell of honeysuckle enters my nose again. I look to my side and see Chan-Il with his hand on his brother’s shoulder. There is a clear warning on his face and Chan-Yung moves his hands to my waist. I can see a small smile, almost a challenge, on his face as he stares his brother down.

After another moment, I right myself and go towards my mother, who has yet to rise from the floor. My father towers over her, glaring daggers at her. My stepfather is being restrained by vassals and my siblings tremble behind him. I pull away from Chan-Yung and help my mother to her feet. Her face is defeated, sunken. The weight of her guilt aging her before my eyes. My father does not stop me as I lead her back to my stepfather. The rage on his face is dangerous and I can see the Alpha that stole my mother’s heart. His outrage was making him courageous, and it would get him killed.

“Stepfather, I know this is unfair. But please, I need you here to take care of them for me. They won’t survive without you to protect them. Calm down.” I whisper to him and guide my mother gently into his arms. He is trembling with anger, but once my mother’s body is against his, he relaxes and embraces her so tight he might pull her into his skin. I look at my siblings in turn and they shrink away from the energy I push their way, “You have to get stronger! You cannot stand idle while our family suffers anymore. I will no longer be here. It’s time you all come into your power and protect what is precious.” I put a hand on each of their shoulders and looked into their eyes in turn. When I reach my half-sister and our eyes lock, I see something like determination in her gaze. She is the only one of the three to place her hands on my shoulders and give me a reassuring squeeze. Somehow, I feel like her strength will get them all through trying times. She is the youngest of us, and at that moment, she is the strongest.

I leave my family at my back and return to Chan-Yung. Chan-Il is now standing a few inches back from the rest and that calm boredom is back on his face. I face my new husband with a newfound sense of determination and unease. I would somehow make this marriage work for the sake of my family. My sisters were not the only ones that needed to wise up. I had to as well, or risk being swallowed by my circumstances.