Adagio

Chapter 11

After the recital was over, everyone wanted to talk to my son. He was the centre of attention and he deserved it.

The teachers told me that they were scared for a minute out there, but they thanked me for stepping in.

Everyone told me that I have an amazing son.

In my heart, I told them ‘ It’s about time you noticed.’ But I shut my mouth not to spoil the moment.

But the time arrived to go home and to talk to the only person I don’t wanna speak too.

When I opened the door, Ace was sitting on the kitchen chair.

He glanced at me than at Coda.

“ Go change Coda, I will explain everything, when you are clean and washed,” I said smiling and shook his hair. 

He nodded and ran to the bathroom.

“ Don’t run!” I yelled.

Suddenly I heard a loud thump.

I slapped my head and sighed.

“ Are you okay?”

He came in running in the room and nodded.

“ Don’t run, you know how many times you slipped?”

He nodded and shook his head, turning around, walking very slowly.

“ Don’t mock me, mister , walk normally.”

He turned and grinned than walked off.

I sighed.

Ace put his hand on his mouth.

“ Don’t laugh.”

He nodded but burst into laughter.

Jace couldn’t help himself and started to laugh too.

I sighed and made myself a drink.

Jace grabbed a beer from the fridge and gave one to Ace.

After gulping down the drink, I sat down.

“ Are you gonna tell me what’s going on?” Ace said.

I looked at my hands.

“ I can’t remember that night either.”

Ace sighed and rubbed his neck.

“ What night are you talking about?” Jace asked.

I looked at Jace. “ Seven years ago, I ended up drunk because my boyfriend at that time just broke up with me. All I can remember is that I met a guy at this party and next thing I know I woke up the day after in his bed, naked.”

Jace’s eyes went wide and turned to his brother.

“ Don’t look at me, that time was when our parents kept ranting over and over about my future and I got drunk as f**k that night.”

I glared at him. “ Watch your language.”

He put his hands up. “ Sorry.”

I nodded.

“ So you are telling me that, you both ended up drunk that night? But how do you know each other’s names?” Jace said, rubbing his forehead.

“ That’s the only thing we remember.” Ace said.

“ So that means, Ace is the father of your kid?” Jace asked.

I looked at him, he looked hurt and sad.

Who would blame him?

I nodded.

Jace sighed deeply and got up from his chair.

“ You knew he was my brother?”

I got up and went in front of him.

“ I just told you, I only knew his name. Do you really think I knew?” I asked almost getting a bit angry at how little he knows me.

He sighed and rubbed his neck.

“ No I don’t, but Iris, this is messed up.”

“ You’re telling me?” I asked exasperatedly.

“ You had my son and you never thought about looking me up?” Ace asked.

I turned to him.

“ Would you have accepted a son, at eighteen years old Ace ?” I asked, tired already.

He looked taken aback.

“ I would have helped at least. I had a son for seven years Iris and I didn’t know about it. How would you feel if you were in my shoes?” He yelled.

Jace hushed him.

“ I had to raise a kid Ace, I had to make a life for him. I didn’t really stop and think to find you. Plus now that I know who you are and hear what you are capable off, you were f*****g another girl at that time I was giving birth to our son.” I hissed at him.

His eyes went wide and sat back on the chair.

“ Do you really think I didn’t stop and think to find you? My son needs a father. I did everything I could but I can see it in his eyes, he wants a father.” I said crying.

Jace came near me and hugged me to him.

“ So that’s why you were so stuck on not seeing me again?”

I nodded, crying on his shoulders.

“ My son is my top priority, I don’t mind getting hurt but I can’t bear to see him cry.”

I heard Ace sigh.

“ You were a drunk brother, all these years, you wouldn’t have been a very big role model to a kid,” Jace said, turning to his brother.

“ I would have changed.”

“Really? Then get up from that chair and go meet your son and if you hurt him, I will rip your heart out and kill you.”

Ace’s eyes went wide.

“ I can’t-”

“ What?”

“ I’m not ready.”

“ Not ready?! Are you kidding me?”

“ Calm down babe,” Jace said holding me by my shoulders.

I took a deep breath.

“ See what I mean? If you aren’t ready, go away this instant and come back when you’re ready to face my son.”

Ace looked at me. “ He’s my son too.”

“ Than make a fucken decision and live with it. I know it’s hard but you have to grow up sometime Ace.”

He got up and slammed the table.

“ I just got to know that I have a son from a mistake, give me some time.” He yelled.

My eyes went wide.

Coda just came into the room.

Ace looked at Coda.

I ran to him and pulled him up, moving away from the room.

When I sat him down to the piano, Coda’s eyes were wide.

“ Sweetheart.” I cried and hugged him to me.

He moved his little hand and played a note, then another note.

Am I a mistake?

I cupped his face.

“ Don’t you dare ask me that. You are not a mistake!” I said, almost yelling.

His eyes filled with tears.

“ Iris-”

It was Ace.

“ Get out,” I whispered.

“ Iris come on.”

“ I said get out!” I yelled.

Ace’s took a step back, he looked guilty almost ashamed.

Good.

Coda was crying in my arms, hugging me tightly.

“ I’m so sorry Coda,” I said crying.

Coda shook his head.

“ I’ll be your father okay?”

I could hear a small laugh from his tears.

After crying his eyes out, he slept in my arms. After I put him to bed, I went into the living room, finding Jace holding his head.

“ Jace,” I whispered.

He looked up at me and got up.

When he moved closer, I took a step back.

“ I’m sorry, I can’t”

His eyes went wide.

“ What ?” He whispered softly.

My vision started to get blurry and my eyes filled with tears.

“ I vowed to never let my son cry like that,” I said hugging myself.

“ I know-”

“ No, you don’t.”

He looked taken aback.

“ It’s not fair to you, to keep coming here and see your brother’s child. And also, I need to take care of my son.”

He didn’t say a word, so I looked up to him.

He was crying.

My heart ached, I wanted to run to him and hug him but I can’t.

“ Why are you doing this?” He said.

I looked down to my trembling feet.

“ Because my son needs me.”

“ And I get that, but you need me.”

I looked up to him.

“ I lived 7 years without anyone’s help. I can do it.”

His eyes went wide. “ But I can’t.”

I put my hand on my mouth to hide my cry.

When I composed myself I said “ You have too. I can’t do this anymore Jace. With you, I’m in danger and I have to build a solid life for my son to live in.”

“ You need your life to Iris. Don’t put it all on the kid.” He said sounding angry.

“ I don’t need a life if my life is what is making my son cry. I need to be strong and raise him well and loving you it’s not what will help me.”

He took a step back and fell to his knees.

“ I’m not my brother Iris.”

The room was turning, I couldn’t breathe and my lungs were aching for oxygen.

I shook my head.

“ I know, that’s the more reason, I can’t let you in Jace. You deserve much more than this.”

“ I decide what I deserve.” He said.

“ Than leave.” The words took all in me to come out.

He kept looking at me.

“ Please go,” I whispered, holding my stomach.

He nodded and got up.

“ Just so you know, I will always love you. You are the girl for me.”

After whispering that, he left, closing the door behind him.

I slammed on the floor, holding my stomach and put my hand on my mouth.

I cried like I never cried before.