The Boyfriend App 3.0: Touch

Chapter 1: Bros

Chapter 1: Bros

“Jjajan!” Kim Ji-hoon greets in the tune of the Netflix logo: jja-jan .

“Jajangmyeon!” Nate blurts out and, clutching his chest, mutters: “Kkamjjagiya…”

His hyung giggles. He’s seven years older but Nate often acts more mature than him. Nate supposes it’s because of their different upbringing.

What Nate has just said is a private joke between them. His first word is nonsensical. It’s the name of Korean noodles with black sauce, eaten by brokenhearted, shaved-headed single men on Black Day. The second word translates to “you scared me”, which is a bit too literal for a Filipino like Nate who prefers to utter less filtered exclamations like “ay” and “oh my god” when surprised.

Nate looks at the K-pop star with longing and adulating eyes. Kim Ji-hoon, whose stage name is Shadow , stands almost seven feet tall. His handsome face is currently hidden by a black helmet but it’s him all right. He’s wearing a sleek leather jacket, fingerless gloves and leather pants; black from head to foot except for a pair of faint green Antlia Yeezy Boost 350 V2. The sneakers were supposed to be released only at select retailers in Europe, Russia, and Ukraine around the end of this month. (Nate has managed to keep abreast of the outside world through actual paper copies of Manila Bulletin on Camp Unplugged’s coffee table.)

“You’re late. Your engine’s still warm,” Nate nags in Korean, referring to the RPM, which he’s able to tell by ear alone. The motorcycle’s smooth idling signals a happy engine.

Nate has just toned down his relief at finding his hyung and their getaway vehicle. It’s his way of saying I missed you and Am I glad to see you .

“Don’t blame me,” Shadow replies in Korean. “Blame the Woodland Vista website. This ain’t Tagaytay. This is Batangas.”

His intonation is everywhere especially when he says Philippine place names.

“ Geureom ,” Nate says matter-of-factly. “It’s marketing for the tourists. They’ve stretched out Tagaytay and called it Metro Tagaytay. They’re billing it as ‘the second Summer Capital of the Philippines’.”

Shadow taps a button on his helmet and the electrochromic visor instantly switches from tinted to clear, revealing cute, almond-shaped and single-lidded eyes. The other differences between the half-brothers are the peek of Shadow’s skin, which is pale white, and the fact that he’s wearing red contact lenses. To complete the vampire look, he also has on smoky eye makeup, which means he came straight from his concert at the Mall of Asia Arena, 70 kms north from here.

“Summer Capital?” Shadow echoes. “Isn’t that supposed to be Baguio?”

He takes off the full-face helmet and reveals, below a black wave cap, the chiseled face with the v-shaped jaw that so many fangirls swoon over. He sweeps off the cap and flips his trademark dreads left and right.

At this moment, Nate feels like crying. It never gets old. Kim Ji-hoon a.k.a. Shadow, leader of the five-member boy band MXO (short for Monte X-O), is on a first-name basis with him. Sure, Nate signed a slew of NDAs so he can’t really tell anyone that they’re related. Everyone knows Shadow as this big-shot celebrity but to Nate, he’s just hyung .

Nate fought back the tears because he can’t be seen crying by hyung . Real men don’t cry.

“Yeah,” Nate replies, low-keying the breaking of his voice with a cough. “That’s why I said ‘ second Summer Capital’.”

“Oh, so like you and me. You’re the second popstar of the Philippines.”

“ Aniya ,” Nate refuses empathically. “I’m the illegitimate kid who’s sent to a paramilitary camp because his mother and stepfather are embarrassed of him. I’m no idol material.”

Even though Shadow’s motorcycle, a brand-new-looking Yamaha MT-09, has warmed up enough and Nate doesn’t want to stay a second longer near Camp Unplugged, they make idle chit-chat because they both know they won’t be able to talk properly once they ride.

“Or maybe you’re a slacker who was banished here after you got caught playing Dungeon Raydens 36 hours straight. You ever think of that?”

The exact words Shadow used are “teng tengi”, which mean play hooky . Nate thinks Shadow, of all people, should understand how addictive Dungeon Raydens is because the game maker is South Korean after all.

“Be that as it may,” Nate says, “they should’ve just sent me to North Korea. I think that place is better than this hell .”

Nate used the English word “hell”. It’s mild among Koreans but very apt for a place like Camp Unplugged. He was thinking of the neologisms Hell Joseon and Tal-Jo . But between two Korean guys, there’s seldom a need for potty-talk euphemisms.

“Don’t be so dark,” Shadow says in English. “Be Marvel. Don’t be DC.”

That’s another private joke between them because Shadow likes Marvel movies (his fave superhero is Thor) while Nate is a die-hard Batman fan.

“I can’t help being dark,” Nate blurts out, “cause there’s literally a blackout!”

They both fall quiet, get into an impromptu staring contest, and then burst out laughing. They laugh so long and hard that Nate finally grips his stomach in pain. But it’s a good kind of hurt. This is like old times with hyung .

“Seriously though,” Shadow says, “you’re smarter than this, Nate. And you’ve got so much raw talent. It just feels like a sin letting all that go to waste. When are you going to audition for SM Entertainment?”

“ Nollijima …”

“Who’s joking? I’m not joking. I’ve heard you sing, bro. You’ve got the voice of an angel. We both got that from appa .”

“Maybe I can sing. But I can’t dance for s**t.”

“If I told you once, I told you half a dozen times: Anyone…”

“… can dance,” Nate finishes, nodding like a bobblehead puppy.

“Just pretend nobody’s watching you. That’s what I do. You think I dance for other people? Fat chance. I dance for myself. To relieve my stress. When I’m dancing, that’s the only time I feel I’m free.”

Shadow extends his motorcycle helmet to Nate. “Here.”

“What am I supposed to do with that?”

“Try it on, du****s. What else are you going to do with it? You drive.”

“ Jinjjah ?” Nate asks incredulously.

“ Jinjjah . This baby’s yours so you’d better break it in.”

“Holy…” Nate squeals and excitedly puts on the helmet.

Shadow knows that riding is Nate’s passion. Nate started with a dirt bike when he was three and then moved up to a pocketbike and also through the various racing categories. By the time he was ten, he’d been joining club races on the Boomland kart track in Pasay City – and winning. He had a small shrine of trophies and medals in his room. But then his mom started discouraging him from becoming a pro racer because it wasn’t a profitable career. That was about the same time that his mom remarried.

The final straw happened last year when Nate experienced a motorcycle crash. A kid was playing with a basketball on the sidewalk and suddenly darted across the road to chase the ball. Nate only had a second to veer away and slammed against a low concrete barrier. There was one exhilarating moment of weightlessness as he flew off the saddle, sailed through the air and landed smack dab on, thankfully, something springy: a bed of oranges in polystyrene boxes sitting on a sidewalk rolling store, which was a kind of store under a beach umbrella and on top of a cart.

Nate only suffered minor injuries and the kid was unharmed, but his motorcycle was totaled. There was orange juice all over him and everywhere. When the police arrived, the kid was nowhere to be found and no eyewitness was willing to come forward to testify to Nate’s innocence. Nate chose to keep mum about the whole thing and be presumed guilty because the kid looked like his family didn’t have the financial means to get a lawyer or cover any of the damages (to Nate and the sidewalk fruit vendor, who of course had no vending permit).

In the end, his driver license got suspended. His stepdad begrudged having to pay the court fines and, since then, no one has made any attempt to pay the hefty fee to get his license restored. Not even Nate himself. A big reason is because he’s still shaken by the accident. He keeps thinking what could’ve happened if he hadn’t managed to swerve away in time. Nate gathered all the racing trophies and medals in his room, put them in a box and relegated everything in the closet under the stairs of his stepdad’s house.

But Nate has always been a motorhead. He told Shadow once how classes in senior high felt too slow for him. To satisfy his craving for speed, he turned to computer games, which were the next best thing. One thing led to another and, before he knew it, he was in Camp Unplugged.

“But what about you?” Nate asks presently, even though the helmet’s already snug around his head.

“ Gwenchana . I was in so much hurry to get here I forgot to bring a spare.”

Shadow puts the wave cap back on. The motion looks as dainty as a swimmer putting on a swimming cap, but once he has pulled it down his gorgeous head of dreads, it looks like a badass bandanna. A helmet it isn’t.

“That’s not going to work,” Nate whines.

‘Who’s going to notice, huh? Where are all the policemen? Just drive slow, and as soon as we get to civilization, I’ll buy all the helmets you want.”

Nate still looks on with hesitation.

“ Gwenchana , gwenchana ,” Shadow says with an air-pawing, dismissive gesture.

“Speaking of men in uniform,” Nate says, “did you get in okay?”

“ Geureom !” Shadow replies confidently. “I just gave the guards my golden autograph like I said I would. They were tripping over each other to roll out the red carpet.”

All visitors of Woodland Vista are required a pre-filled-out and approved authorization letter before being allowed entry to any one of its boom gates. At times, even members of the Homeowners Association are denied entry if they’ve been forgotten after being away too long.

“Did you mention anything about Ms. Blanca or Camp Unplugged?” Nate asks.

“Er, well… yeah,” Shadow says reluctantly. “I may have.”

Nate’s eyes widen.

“I had to,” Shadow says sheepishly. “My charm may be irresistible but my demographic is really teen girls. Not so much grownup security dudes. It was just natural for me to give a reason for coming here and I said I was just visiting my bro in Camp Unplugged. Geuraeseo ? It’s not a big deal.”

In the graveyard silence, they hear the roar of a car engine mounting the steep street and getting closer. Soon, headlights sweep at them and Nate’s eyes widen as he sees ROTC Sergeant Luna behind the wheel and Miss Perfect sitting next to him. Caught in each other’s headlights, all four of them probably look like startled deer.

“Oh no…” he mumbles.

“ Pali pali !” Shadow shouts and swings his leg over onto the driver’s seat. “Hop on!”

****

That Sunday morning, newly legal-age Rapunzel Kate Lapuz wakes up at 6:00 am. It’s church and family day but Kate and her ma are still not on speaking terms because of what she did to Ecto. Kate is also feeling ambivalent about going to church today and hearing her first Mass back in her hometown. Partly it’s because she has seen how religious people like Miss Perfect (Miss Blanca) could be evil. Unwitting and with good intentions, but evil.

It’s the end of June, four days after her debut party, and four days since she ran away from Camp Unplugged. Lying on the bed with eyes open, she does a mental scan of her horizontal self from head to foot, trying to determine if anything has changed about or within her now that she’s officially an adult. She runs her fingers over her body. She seems to have gotten slimmer, especially around the waist, and she can feel the beginnings of… what feels like… abs. Probably because of all the “sit-in-the-air” squats Sergeant Luna made her do.

Cool , she thinks to herself. I have a one-pack.

Next, she touches her boobs and cups each in one hand.

Nope , she thinks. Still B-cup.

The biggest change thus far is her sleeping cycle. On a weekend like today, the younger version of her would’ve gone to bed late last night and would still be asleep around this time. Ma would be giving her a series of stentorian wakeup calls in the half hour to 10 am, their preferred time of Mass. Ma would nag her about how she was always sleeping late and almost married to her smartphone. Ma would call her a turtle and remind her of the proverb of the early bird while Kate would silently console herself with the fable of the tortoise and the hare.

Kate still has plenty of hours to sleep but, the truth is, even though it’s been four days of freedom, she still can’t shake off the sound of the intercom bugle in Camp Unplugged. She can hear it every morning at six and, no matter what dream she’s having, the sound bumps her off and out of the dream like a bowling ball that first glides as a straight ball and then suddenly becomes a gutter ball. Or, right before she gets cut off from the dream, the bugle sound gets mixed in and she sees miniature unicorns forced to join an endless race on a gerbil wheel. Such a cuteness-overload dream should be pleasant, except that the unicorns are gaunt and panting in exhaustion.

Kate gropes for her new Samsung A10, her birthday gift from her parents. She puts it on airplane mode every night before she goes to bed, not because she feels like she’s travelling or flying each night but because data providers in Prepaid Philippines can get a little overkill on spam. Whenever her phone moves out of range of the LTE Home Wifi router or when the signal gets wonky, a little SMS would appear on screen:

SurfAlert: You are connecting online without a surf promo. Register to a promo to continue.

1 GoSURF 15

2 GoUNLI 20

3 Surf at the regular browsing rate

4 More

There’s no way to block the sucker. Not through Settings > Notifications > Do Not Disturb ; not through Settings > Lock Screen > Notifications ; not through Messages > Settings > Block numbers and spam . Kate has tried them all but the whole SMS just keeps popping right through the lock screen, like a laser pointer on the back of a cat’s paw. In the first place, there’s no phone number to block and the feature seems to emanate from the SIM itself.

Kate could’ve just let the little pet peeve slide but, the thing is, when she’s asleep and the SMS comes, it wakes up her phone and demands a response between two options: Cancel or Send . Depending on what time the text message comes, her phone would stay awake for hours, get as hot as fresh pandesal and become low-batt.

The only solution? Airplane mode.

Presently, Kate goes to Connections and toggles off Airplane mode. The wi-fi automatically switches back on.

A Viber message from her bes Lor comes in with a familiar, exciting tune. Kate clicks the push notification and that brings her to the app. Lor’s message would’ve sounded like clickbait if Kate didn’t know it was her: WTF! Turn on your TV. Are you seeing this? Channel 2. This is cray!

The time stamp is 5:23 so the message is still fresh. The real question is what Lor is doing up at 5:23 and whether she’s just about to go to bed or she’s already up and about.

Kate rises and goes to the living room. As she descends the stairs, she sees her parents in front of the TV and tuned in on Umagang Kay Ganda (literally Beautiful Morning). They both turn to her with saucer-wide eyes.