ZEN i [JACK KLINE]

T W E N T Y - T H R E E

23| E M O T I O N S

ZENJA WINCHESTER COULDN'T feel a damn thing. The tears had already dried up from her cheeks. The anger washed away hours ago, along with the pain. Now, she just felt numb, incomplete....empty. The bond was still there but it felt like a severed piece of string trying it's best to hold on.

Zenja herself, was trying her best to hold on...

13.07–War of the Worlds

HER BROTHERS HAD placed an APB out among hunters for Jack, and Dean assures her that he will be found, arguing that there will be a sign. But she knew Jack, and if he didn't want to be found then he won't.

Castiel suggests that perhaps the lack of evidence of Jack is the evidence itself; Jack has possibly been taken by Asmodeus or the angels and they have hidden him. Castiel informs the Winchesters that he is going to meet with an angel confidant who will tell him if the angels have Jack or not. Zenja simply tells him, " Goodluck.", before going back to intoxicating herself with numerous amounts of booze.

Sam and Dean were wary of their sister's behaviour...but they knew this wasn't the first time they saw her loose control. The first time they did was when Lucifer stabbed Gabriel back at the motel filled with Pagan Gods. Zenja wasn't the same afterwards and dug herself into a hole full of beer,s*x and cigarettes. They weren't surprised, those were the things that the Winchesters did instead of wallowing in their own self pity.

Sam has done it.

Dean has done it multiple times.

Now, it was her turn.

Dean soon found a case involving a person they had once thought was dead. She realised being dead in her world was normal. She doesn't know how many times she has died in the past years only to come back a few days or minutes later...

Turns out the person that was supposedly dead was no other than Ketch. The man that had the most punchable face in the world...other than Lucifer himself. They soon found Ketch and took him to the bunker where they tried to get some information out of him as to why he was alive.

But what he answered instead was not what they had expected. "Ketch" claims that he has been mistaken for his brother and he is actually Alexander Ketch. He tells the Winchesters that he ran from the British Men of Letters and has lived in hiding as a mercenary/hunter.

But Zen believed none of this along with Dean.

Later on that day, they got a vague phone call from Castiel. So they did what they did best and tried to find their winged friend. During that time Ketch drops his facade, but says the story he gave was true, that he was in hiding from the British Men of Letters, and has been working as a mercenary under the alias "Alexander Ketch." Questioned as to how he is alive, Ketch reveals that some time ago, he captured Rowena, and discovered a powerful charm in her body that can resurrect her. In return for letting Rowena escape, she gave him the same spell that saved him from death, but it needs recharging after it is used, which is why he was hunting her down. He tries to argue that he is a good guy, but Dean doesn't believe him. Dropping a flash bang, Ketch makes his escape, but is shot in the shoulder while fleeing the bar by Zen.

13.08–The Scorpion and The Frog

ZEN WAS IN the middle of making herself some coffee when Dean's phone suddenly rings – it is someone who knows they are looking for a Nephilim and claims to have something that they may find useful. The Winchesters quickly pick up that he is a demon. They set up a meeting at a nearby diner.

Zen says that she'd rather stay in the bunker and wait till somebody else calls about Jack or Ketch.Her brothers argued about it for a few minutes until they finally agreed.

So now, Zen was alone in her room. She laid on her bed and looked up at the ceiling with thoughts swarming her head. She had tried to reach Jack using telepathy more times than she can count but he never answers.

She sighed in frustration and sat up, placing her hands on her head. Her hands started shaking uncontrollably as a golden glow emits from her palms.

" Not again...", she muttered as she grasped her hands tightly together. She was slowly loosing control once again. The stress from the past incidents have took it's toll on her powers. She realised that the more she was away from Jack, the more uncontrollable her abilities get.

She reached for her pack of cigarettes and shakily placed one in her mouth. She lit it up before taking in a long drawl. She blew out the smoke with a shaky breath and looked back at her hands. She had tried to do the mantra in her head but it didn't seem to work anymore. So instead, she went back to her old ways of smoking. She had stopped back when Castiel was there to help her through it, but now the stress was too much for her to handle and Cas was having his own problems with the angels.

What are you doing to yourself, Zenja?

She could feel tears gathering up in her eyes and pulled at the hairs on her head in frustration.

" Y-You're not real...you're dead.", she muttered.

Gabriel sat down beside her with a frown. " I know...This is all in your head, sweet cheeks.", he states as he gestured to himself.

She slowly looked up at him and locked her eyes with his whisky colored ones. " I miss you, Gabe...", she croaked as tears fell down her cheeks.

Gabriel places a hand on her cheeks and says, " I miss you too, darlin'."

She leaned into his touch and let out a breath. She missed his touch, his warmth, the feeling of next to her.

" You feel so real...", she whispers.

Gabriel smiled softly at her and says, " But I'm not real, Z. I'm dead."

More tears swept down her cheeks as she says, " Why can't you be real?", she sobbed. " Why did you have to die Gabe? I—It's all my fault..."

Gabriel sighed. " Zenja, look at me."

She hesitates for a second before looking up to meet his eyes. " Zenja, don't do this to yourself. My death is not your fault—"

" But it is, Gabe! Don't you see? You walked in there to save me from Lucifer...you got yourself killed in the process.", she cried. " It's all my fault..."

" No, It's not. I made a decision to save you. It was my decision, not yours. That doesn't make it your fault, Zen.", he states as he encased her hand tightly in his.

Zenja doesn't reply but instead wrapped her arms around his torso. Gabriel held her crying body close to his chest and gave her a small kiss on the head.

" You have to let me go, Zen."

She shook her head. " No, I don't want to.", she held onto his jacket for dear life.

" Z, I—you found your soulmate, you can finally be with him. If you just let me go.", he whispers.

She slowly pulled away from him. " Jack left, Gabriel. He's not coming back. He doesn't want to come back.", she states.

Gabriel wipes the tears from her cheeks and says, " He will. Because no matter where you are and what you do...a soulmate will always come back to you. An angel never leaves his charge alone forever, Z."

" How sure are you he's coming back?", she questions.

Gabriel chuckles. " Remember, I'm all in your head, sweet cheeks. You, yourself believes he's coming back. You're just gonna have to wait and see."

She licks her chapped lips and looks up at him. " But I don't want to let you go."

" You have to if you want to be with him.", he replies.

She sighs in defeat and says, " I don't know how..."

He looks down at her with a sad smile. " Close your eyes, darlin'"

She closes her eyes as Gabriel places his hand in both side of her cheeks. " And let me go...", he instructs.

She swallows back a sob before nodding. " Okay..."

Gabriel gives her a small smile. " Goodbye Zenja. I love you."

She could feel his lips on her forehead as he said those words. " I love you too."

She opens her eyes to find him gone. She could still feel the ghost of his lips on her head.

" Goodbye, Gabriel."

Her chest felt lighter and her head started to clear. She looked down at the cigarette in her hand and thought, What am I doing to myself?

She quickly disposes the cigarette and enters the bathroom. She washes her face and lets the warm water soothe her red puffy eyes. She then dabs her face with a towel before looking at herself at the mirror.

She felt new, better...alive.

She watches as her eyes turn into golden orbs. And through them, she could see Jack. Her mind flashed back to when they first met, to when she first saw him smile...to when she first found out they were soulmates.

The bond slowly felt like it was repairing itself the more she thought of him. She looked down at her hands and laughed in relief when she realised they weren't glowing anymore.

She was going to find him and bring him back home where he belongs. And if anyone gets in her way, whether it'd be an angel or a demon...

She's going to show them how scary Zenja Winchester can actually be.