When Everything Changes

Four: "I Would Start Talking If I Were You"

I haven’t been around this many people in a long time and it makes me nervous. Scratch that, it's nothing short of terrifying. 

People walk all around us, they stand talking on the train station platform, waiting, they walk around trying to get to their destinations. Olivia, Peter, and I all stand a little ways down the street, away from the scene, but close enough to know what we’re getting into. We all have our backs against the side of a building, looking at the scene, and trying to do what we can to build up enough courage to go join the public. 

“Are we going to go or not?” Peter asks 

He doesn't understand how long it’s been since Olivia or I have been a part of society. We don't go shopping, or to school, or talk to people. I'm not sure if I could act natural with my circumstances. But not going isn't a choice. I have to swallow my nerves and make the leap. 

I hum in agreement and look at Olivia. She won't meet my eyes but she nods. 

“Alright then,” I take a breath and try to calm my speeding heart. “Let's go” 

I jump slightly when Olivia's hand unexpectedly finds mine and she holds on to me. She may be mad, but she must also be just as nervous as me. I can't blame her either. 

We all walk out of our hiding spot together and we do our best to relax as we integrate ourselves with the people in the streets. I don't make eye contact with anyone but I keep my head level, not wanting to be suspicious. 

My hand stays clasped with Olivias as we do our best to get to the forest just a ways from here. 

“Talk to me” I murmur quietly to Olivia. 

We need to talk to each other, seem natural, if we don't it’ll draw more attention to the fact that this isn't a leisurely walk. It’s a mission, and it’s not relaxed at all. 

Olivia's hand is slightly shaking and I squeeze it gently, hoping to provide support. 

“Well-” she swallows in nervousness 

“And she says I’m going to kill you” Peter exclaims “you can’t act natural for your life” he scoffs “if you can't talk, just listen” 

He then goes on to talk about things as mundane as his school day. His story is realistic enough to think he was talking about yesterday, even though I'm sure he is either making it up or talking about a few days ago. He talks about the book he’s reading in English class, he brings it up a few times and how boring it is.

He talks about the things he wants from the store and the new things he wants to buy. He talks about the new restaurant opening and how his dad is always saying how much he wants to go. He talks about his friends and his plans for his future. 

He talks so naturally and easily that anyone looking at us would think nothing of it. I listen in a sort of awe at how easily he plays this off, how relaxed he is. Neither Olivia or I could get more than a few words out at a time, but here he is, smoothly speaking without pause about his life. 

It seems to be calming Olivia too, he talks so naturally that it must take her mind off of the situation. She’s listening intently, trying to forget the danger we’re in. At another time I might have teased her about being so enraptured in Peter's words, but I know they’re both doing their best to ease the situation, for themselves and others. 

The crowd is gaining more people as they all work to get on and off the train, blending us in with them. I watch the people around us, looking for anyone who lets their eyes linger too long, or people who are a little too attentive to us when we walk by. 

It’s only momentary, but for a second I catch the eyes of someone in the crowd. With all the people passing, all I could catch was that they were green. But the moment I caught them in my own gaze, they were gone.

I scan all around us, looking for the one person who seemed to have been watching us. My head turns back and forth, looking for those green eyes. I feel as though I can feel them on us, making me hot with nerves. 

I can't hear Peter anymore. All I am focused on is getting to the stairs that will lead us under the tracks and onto the other side to the forest. I don't like being here, I don't like how easy it is to be seen. To have someone's eyes on me. I've lived in the shadows for so long that being out in the open so blatantly fills me with anxiety to a point I'm afraid I'll drown in it. 

With Olivia in my left hand, I reach over and take Peter's hand in my right. He tugs and twists it trying to pry it out of my grip but I hold on. 

“Can you let go?” Peter asks with obvious distaste. 

I speed up as we approach the stairs. Olivia and Peter struggle to keep up with my rushed steps and once we begin walking down them I let go of their hands and I quickly stumble down the stairs, not able to get rid of the prickling feeling of eyes on me. 

I feel like a deer, running away from something. Looking for safety which I'm not sure I will get. I rush past the few remaining people walking through the tunnel, gaining some curious and perplexed looks. I can only hope none of the center's lapdogs are hanging out around here ready to report me. 

It seems the months I've had to train myself to keep quiet and inconspicuous have flown away. I'm in a state I've only felt the day of the spring festival. The day I ran from my mother's murder, just hoping to get home unscathed, hoping things would be alright. 

I'm running at this point, the treeline is just ahead of me and I'm desperate to get away from the street, away from the people, this was a mistake. How could I ever believe I could do this?

My feet hit the soft ground of the grass instead of the concrete and I blink out of the foggy panic in my mind. 

I slow my run into a light jog before I come to a stop altogether. My breath comes out shallow and my heart beats to a melody with broken strings. There is no calming violin or melodious piano. It's a 7-chord on a guitar. It's dissonant and unpleasant, it's ugly and it hurts. 

My body goes rigid as I look behind me, looking back onto the street for Olivia or Peter. The 7-chord comes back in full force when they dont come into my vision. I look as best as I can around the area, looking at every person who comes and goes. 

I have no time to react when a hand touches my shoulder and before I can blink I am spun around and knocked to the ground, every ounce of air leaving me. A heavy weight is on top of me and when I open my eyes I meet green ones belonging to a guy who hovers above me, the alarming part is the slight sting I feel on my neck from the dagger he holds to my throat. 

I don't dare try to speak. I hardly breathe as I watch him who watches me with narrowed eyes. His dark hair dangerously close to falling over his eyes which still stare at me, his dark blue jean jacket is on top of a dark green hoodie, he wears black jeans and vans similar to mine. I look at his attire from my peripheral vision, trying to take in everything I can. My thoughts are interrupted quickly as he speaks harshly yet in a low quiet voice, seemingly more threatening than if he were yelling at me. “Who are you?” 

Who am I? 

Who am I?

He’s the one who attacked me and is holding a dagger to my throat. I don't speak, I don't break eye contact, I don't make any twitch, I hold myself like a statue, the only thought is hoping I stay alive. 

I can't understand what is happening. This may have happened before the new order, there was plenty of violence and danger all around then. But now, the center holds control over everything, the people especially. 

This shouldn't be happening. The center wouldn't allow this sort of violence, they want order, not chaos. Nothing that would interfere with their perfectly crafted plans. And this is exactly what they wouldn't allow. 

I stay silent, looking into his eyes as he sits perfectly still with his dagger unwavering at my throat. Eventually, he pulls away the dagger from me an inch, enough to answer his question, not too far that he couldn't slit my throat if he wanted to. 

“My name is Gabriella,” I answer matching his tone of voice, not wanting to seem less than him, no matter how much of an advantage he has. 

“I am traveling to a friend's house” I do my best to lie, but I was never good at that. Olivia was always the one to lie her way out of things. While she could lie her way out of almost any situation, the only ones she couldn't lie to were our parents. They always knew. They always made the same face every time she tried to lie to them. Because we almost always got into trouble together, I was there almost every time to see them pull the “I know you're lying” face. Similar to the one I’m receiving now. Although, his face is more hostile, none of the warmth that mom and dad would give off when Olivia and I would try and get away with things. 

While this wasn't exactly a lie, it also wasn't a full truth, and he can see that. “Well Gabriella, I don't see why you would need to cut through here to get to a friend's house. You should know it’s not time for that. Have you not been paying attention to the time?” 

He pushes the dagger closer and his features turn dangerous. “I don't know what you’re doing or who you really are, but I would start talking if I were you” 

My calm and cool facade begins to falter as my mind runs too fast for me to form any sort of coherent thought. My fingers twitch slightly and my heart races so fast it hurts. I can't seem to open my mouth and my throat feels tight. I can’t believe this is happening. 

I watch as his eyes snap up away from mine. They look right above my head and they widen. Relief washes over his features. “Peter” he breathes out. 

Peter? The Peter I know? Is he here? How does he know him? 

I want to look behind me to see what is happening but despite his attention being off me, the dagger he holds remains on my neck, so I don’t dare move. Lest I startle him and he ends what I’ve just begun. 

“Aiden!” 

I’m not sure whether I should cry tears of relief or freeze in fear at the sound of Peters's voice 

Whoever this is, he’s either a part of the system and is going to bring us in, or he’s against the system and we’re caught in the middle. Either way, we’re in danger. 

The guy on top of me pulls the knife away and pushes himself up. I slowly move to get up, taking that as an invitation to get off the rocks and sticks digging into my back. 

I watch as he goes to take a step toward Peter who’s standing a little ways away with Olivia by his side. In a second's decision based on my protective instincts, I reach out to take the guy's arm and I yank him back, making him stumble back a tiny step. It isn't a lot, but based on his size I didn't expect him to be very affected by me. I take the opportunity of him being slightly unbalanced to duck under his arm and pull the knife I always keep in my waistband out and push it up to his throat like he did to me. 

I dare him to move with my eyes, doing my best to be menacing and not show how nervous I am to be in this position with someone I am sure I could not take in a fight if he chose to do so. 

A slow grin makes its way onto his face, startling me. “I see the tables have turned” he raises an eyebrow in an amused manner and it just confuses me more. Is he not supposed to be scared or at least cautious? “One more step and I will kill you” I threaten him, hoping he will take me seriously and not force me into a position I don't want to be in. 

He sighs as best as he can with the knife I hold against him. “But you won't, for a variety of reasons,” he looks at me, challenging me to deny it. 

When I don't answer, he continues. “For one, I can see that you’ve never held a knife to someone's neck before, let alone kill,” he looks pointedly at the knife in my hand which is shaking slightly due to nerves. I ignore him and focus on trying to steady my arm. 

“And you have?” I question 

he looks at me slyly “Who knows?” he answers cryptically. Before I can ask him about it, he continues talking. “You have morals, I can tell. And they won't allow you to kill an innocent human” 

“Who says you’re innocent?” 

He smiles once more, looking as though he’s enjoying this interaction. “No one” he answers 

My glare trained on him becomes more intense, sick of his games. Who is he?

“And you can't” he looks at me blankly “simply because you can't”

Before I can question him, his opposite arm grabs the one I hold the knife with and spins me around with my arm twisted behind my back, my knife drops to the ground and he gives me a push forward. I stumble a few steps forward and land on my knees on the ground. 

He continues his path forward without giving me a second glance and he walks up to Peter. Much to my disbelief, he and Peter hold their fists out and fist bump each other. He then pulls Peter in his arms and hugs him while Olivia and I look at them wide-eyed. 

Oliva is the first to recover from her puzzlement and she says a little too loud “who are you?” she points at the guy. 

He untangles himself from Peter and looks at Olivia “I’m Aiden, and this,” he puts a hand on Peter's head. “Is my little brother Peter” 

This is Peter's brother? The one we were looking for? 

I roll my eyes and mutter to myself “great”