A Mafia Thing

Chapter Two

    I took a left outside of the building we had just exited, walking under the lights that illuminated the universities sidewalks. An almost white glow was visible every few feet. This walk was typically peaceful for me at night. Typically.

    Tonight it was eerie, as if someone was watching me. I pulled my gym bag tighter over my shoulder.

    Once inside the gym I brushed all of those feelings aside. Tonight I’d run for two hours. That was my plan. I’d push all the thoughts of my past away, leaving behind just the burning of my lungs and a throbbing feeling in my legs. This was how I coped. Not therapy. Not counseling. Exercise had been my escape since I was twelve. It didn’t matter what I was doing— running, biking, lifting weights— as long as I pushed my body to its very limit I’d been fine. As long as I went until my body physically couldn’t go any longer. That’s how I’d pushed the darkness away.

    Tonight I ran over fifteen miles around the indoor track. Sweat dripped from my face and chest. My chest heaved up and down with each breath. I stumbled over to a bench just off of the track. My knees buckling as I collapsed onto the metal seat.

    A guy finished up his lap and practically jogged over to the bench. He sunk down on the seat furthest from me. One space separating us. “You’re quite the runner.” He was leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees. He tilted his head to the side so that he could face me, a cocky grin tugged at the corners of his mouth.

    I wrinkled my nose as I turned to face him. I knew I looked disgusting. The hair that had escaped my ponytail was sticking to my forehead and neck, sweat holding it in place. My cheeks were burning, so I knew I was beet red. I stood up, lifting the bottom of my shirt to wipe the sweat from my forehead. His eyes darkened at the sight of my exposed skin. I had to actively try to not roll my eyes.

    “I guess.” I bent my knee, bringing my leg up behind me so that my heel practically touched my ass. Firmly holding my ankle I began stretching, resting one hand on the bench to stable myself.

    “I’m Nick.” The guy from the bench said, standing as well to stretch his arms. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. Brooke would approve. Hell, she’d be drooling at him right now. Lean, muscular body, clearly an athlete. Those guys were always her favorite.

    “Sam.” I switched legs, now facing him to keep hold of the bench with my other hand. My legs were somewhat unstable at the moment, I needed the extra support.

    “You should text me next time you’re going to run like that. I’d love to see if I could keep up.” His cocky grin still plastered to his face. “Are you on the track team?”

    “No, you?” I realized that was his way of asking me for my number, but I wasn't going to take the bait.

    “Nah, I play basketball for the school, though.” The grin morphed into a cocky smirk. He must be good, a starter at least, otherwise he wouldn’t look so smug right now. “What sport do you play? Not to sound creepy but I saw you in here last week. You had to have done like twenty miles. You’re seriously impressive, Sam.”

    “I don’t think it was that much.” I lied. It had been. That night had been another night I needed to escape from my past. I’d run for almost three hours, if not more. By the end of it my legs hardly worked. I ended up having to call Brooke to come get me. She had to help support me while I walked out of the gym, then she drove us home.

    “It was, seriously. One of my friends started running around the same time as you but he couldn’t keep up. He did like ten miles before he quit. He’s a pretty big deal on the track team so he was embarrassed as hell.” Nick chuckled.

    I just shrugged at his story. In all honesty I didn’t care. Normally I would have excused myself from the conversation after exchanging names, however my legs still needed some recovery time so that I wouldn’t have to stumble away.

    “So, how about it? Text me next time you’re going to run like that?” His amber eyes twinkled with delight.

    I clipped my head from side to side. I didn’t give people my number— guys, girls. It didn’t matter. “I’m here Monday through Friday around seven. Show up around then if you want, but that’s the best I can do.”

    “You don’t come on the weekends?”

    “I do but the hours vary.” I was starting to feel uncomfortable with all of the questions. I didn’t exactly like the idea that a stranger could know where I was at any given time.

    “Well if you’d ever like a change of scenery you should come by the athletes gym. Twenty four hour access.”

    My eyebrows furrowed together. “Why don’t you workout there, then?” I had heard about the athletes gym from Brooke. She was trying to get me to tryout for track just so I could use it. She was sick of me complaining about how this gym closes at eleven. Plus, she wanted access to the gym herself. Not to workout, of course, but she wanted to watch the guys that worked out there.

    “Not to sound like a d**k but that gym is mostly guys. Occasionally the girls workout but they usually do it early in the mornings. Other than that it’s just girlfriends of athletes.” Nick rubbed the back of his neck, a hint of a blush spreading to his cheeks.

    “Why does that matter?”

    “I just perform better when there are girls around.” I rolled my eyes, he must have seen it because he quickly added, “seriously, I’m not trying to sound like a douche that works out to impress women. It just helps get the testosterone flowing. I can push myself harder. I know it’s dumb.”

    Part of me thought he was an i***t but another part of me understood. Everyone needed something to push themselves harder. For some it was competition. Others were driven by their goals. I was driven by a need to not feel— to lose myself.

    “Whatever works, I guess.” The conversation was beginning to annoy me. I kept to myself, I always have, so talking to a random stranger in a public setting wasn’t ideal. That’s when it sunk in what he'd said earlier, “wait did you say you guys have twenty four hour access to the athletes gym?” Finally I stopped stretching and fully turned to face him.

    “Uh, yeah, why?” He must have noticed my shift in demeanor. Tonight I was going to have an uncomfortable conversation with my friend. I’d be wading waist deep in old memories. I’d need to workout again tonight. As of now my only option was to run around downtown Seattle alone at night. The thought alone sent a shiver up my spine.

    “I’ll give you my number if you get me into your gym tonight.”

    “Oh, hell yes!” Nick was bouncing in place. “Wait, tonight?” He stopped bouncing, a confused look over took his face.

    I didn’t answer, I just bobbed my head up and down.

    Nick glanced down at his watch, “it’s after nine. If you come here at seven that means you’ve already been at it for two hours.” I had, but I didn’t care.

    “Look, that’s the only way you’re getting my number. No one ever gets my number, so this is kind of a big deal.” I didn’t mean to sound full of myself but it was true. In the last three years— hell, in my entire life— I’d only given out my number to a handful of people.

    “Tonight, huh?” He scratched the back of his head. “I’ve already been here an hour. I don’t think I’ll have it in me again tonight.”

    “Then just watch. I don’t dare. I don’t need you to actually participate, but I’ll need to blow off steam later. So?” I arched my brow at him.

    “What time were you thinking? I’ve got a training session in the morning..” His voice was beginning to trail off. I could feel his apprehension.

    “Forget it.” I wasn’t about to beg. My legs felt sturdy enough to leave, so that’s what I intended to do. I walked past Nick, not sparring him a second glance.

    A quiet curse slipped from his lips. “Fine. Just text me when you want to go tonight.” He gave me his number and I happily added it to my phone. “I’ll just do homework or whatever.” He was smiling but I could see he wasn’t sure if he should do this or not. I didn’t care.

    After changing back into my work clothes I left the gym. The air outside was cold. My previously warm cheeks ached as the air brushed past them as I briskly walked through the empty campus. Brooke and I had an apartment just two blocks away, so there was never a need to school, not that I had a car. Normally the walk home was relaxing after a good workout, but like before, an uneasy feeling lingered in the pit of my stomach. The feeling of being watched made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

    Normally I’d take my time getting home. I’d breathe in the fresh night time air, enjoying the lack of people. Tonight was different. The feeling of eyes following me crept through my skin, sinking into every fiber of my being until I was practically sprinting home. I probably looked like a complete i***t to anyone passing by, but I didn’t care. The usual ten minute trek took two tonight.

    Once I made it to my front door, I eagerly slipped the keys into the lock, glancing over my shoulder once before pushing my body over the threshold. The apartment was dark and quiet as I entered. I turned the living room lights on and relocked the door behind me.

    “Hello?” No response. Brooke must still be on her date.

    I walked through the apartment, throwing my gym bag on the floor at the end of my bed as I walked into my room. I kicked off my shoes, removing my clothing next. The run home had dried most of my sweat, leaving an uncomfortable sticky feeling on my skin. Leaving my room I darted across the hallway. I locked the door behind me before turning on the shower and stepping under the warm water.

    After the water had began to chill I decided it was time to get out. Stepping out I dried my skin with a towel before slipping into my robe. Then I twisted my hair into a towel before rubbing on lotion. I heard Brooke shuffling around in the kitchen so I hurried to finish in the bathroom. Part of me dreaded having to share my past with her— part of me yearned to get it over with.

    I knew even before starting that I would need to alter my history. Shift some details, leave others completely out. There was only one person that I could ever fully talk to about everything and he had abandoned me.

    I let out a sigh, recapping my lotion and heading back to my room. I called a quick hello to Brooke as I passed through the hallway, she offered the same greeting in return. I pulled a different pair of athletic leggings on, a pair of runners and a light weight T-shirt. I’d be going to workout again after I finished talking to Brooke, so there wasn’t a point in dressing in anything else. I took the towel off of my head, brushing my slightly wet hair. I put it into a messy bun on top of my head, a few black tendrils slipping out, framing my heart shaped face.

    I stared at my reflection in my full length mirror behind my door. Most girls would be overjoyed with what they saw. Flat stomach, long toned legs, a perfectly sculpted ass, trim waist, perky breasts— that’s what people saw when they looked at me. Mysterious grey eyes that held an emotion no one understood. That’s why guys hit on me. They wanted to understand that emotion. They wanted to explore my curves. Touch my body in places that only one person had. I physically cringed at that thought.

    Part of me wanted to see myself through other peoples eyes. Maybe I’d act different then. Maybe I’d be more like Brooke then. Instead I saw the broken girl that I truly was. The girl that had been abandoned too many times to count. The girl with trust issues. The girl that had to push her body to the breaking point just to escape her emotions. The emotion people saw when they looked at me wasn’t mysterious or alluring. People just didn’t understand it. They hadn’t experienced it— not fully. Not the way I had.

    Loneliness.

    It sounds stupid, I know. But that’s what it came down to. I was a girl that had never had anyone my entire life. Not family, friends, teachers— no one. Sure, Brooke and I were friends now, but even that wasn’t a real friendship. After three years of living together she knew next to nothing about me. If she ever sat down to think about it I’m sure she’d realize it, too. She knew I was from New York and I had been in foster care, but that was it. She knew things about me from college but not much else from before I moved here.

    Thankfully Brooke was the type of person that loved to talk about herself. I could tell you hundreds of stories about her childhood, her family, camps she’d gone to, boys she’s dated. You name it, I probably knew it. That’s because she was happy having one sided conversations. I just needed to nod my head and occasionally ask questions. If I did that, she’d happily ignore the fact that I never said anything about myself. That’s why our friendship worked. At the end of the day Brooke felt like she had a best friend whereas I was still drowning in a sea of loneliness.

    A light knocking at my door pulled me from my depressing thoughts. A moment later Brooke opened my door, peeking her head inside. “I brought you home a salad from The Cheesecake Factory.” She had a bright, cheery smile spread across her rosy cheeks. “Come eat and we can talk.” I didn’t move toward the door, earning myself a frown return, “you promised.”

    “Yeah, yeah.” I waved dismissively in the air before opening my door further and stepping out. Brooke happily skipped down the hallway, veering to the left into our living room. I came around the corner just as she plopped herself down on the couch.

    She sprawled out on the furthest end of the couch. Her legs stretched out in front of her, a pillow pulled over her lap. There was an uncomfortable feeling in the air— excitement poured out of her, whereas I had a lingering feeling of dread.

    “Okay spill it, Sam. Share all of your deep, dark secrets.” Brookes blue eyes were shining brightly, as she waited for me to take a seat.