The therapist playbook

MIRAGES

The school bell echoed through the corridors, signalling the beginning of the Chemistry exam. Raphael sat at his desk, the scratch of pencils and the rustle of papers filling the room. The topic was “Organic Chemistry,” specifically “Hydrocarbons.” He stared at the first question, which asked for the structural formulas of alkanes, alkenes, and alkynes. His mind wandered to Oma, and for a moment, he could see her smile instead of the diagrams.

“Focus,” he whispered to himself, trying to push the thoughts away.

He scribbled down the answers, the familiarity of the topic bringing a slight comfort. As the exam progressed, Raphael found his rhythm, the questions becoming less daunting as he worked through them. But the underlying anxiety remained—a persistent, nagging thought that kept him on edge.

When the exam ended, Raphael felt a mixture of relief and unease. He knew he had done well, but his mind wasn’t on Chemistry. It was on Oma, and the strange tension he had been feeling whenever he saw her with other boys, especially the seniors.

A few days after the Chemistry exam, Raphael was heading to his locker when David approached him, a slight frown on his face.

“Hey, Raph, did you see Oma today?” David asked casually, though there was something in his tone that made Raphael pause.

“Not yet. Why?”

David hesitated, then leaned in closer. “I saw her talking with Aaron, one of the seniors. They seemed... close.”

Raphael’s heart skipped a beat. “Close? How close?”

“They were just chatting, but I don’t know, man. They looked like they were getting along pretty well.”

Raphael forced a laugh, though it sounded hollow even to his ears. “Come on, Dave, it’s probably nothing.”

But as David walked away, the seed of doubt had already been planted. Throughout the day, Raphael found himself looking around for Oma, half-hoping and half-dreading to see her. When he finally spotted her during lunch, she was indeed talking with Aaron, the not so tall, charismatic senior whose reputation for charming girls was sickening. Raphael’s stomach twisted as he watched them laugh together, their conversation easy and familiar.

He quickly turned away, trying to shake off the jealousy gnawing at him, but it was no use. The image of Oma with Aaron lingered in his mind, feeding his insecurity.

The next day came with another exam, it was Physics, focusing on “Electricity and Magnetism.” As Raphael stared at the questions about Ohm’s Law and electromagnetic induction, his mind kept drifting back to Oma and Aaron. He could barely concentrate, his thoughts clouded by the fear that he was sharing her.

The exam room felt stifling, the pressure mounting with each question he struggled to answer. Raphael’s usually sharp mind seemed dull, his focus scattered. He managed to complete the exam, but when he left the room, he knew he hadn’t performed his best.

“Are you okay?” Curtis asked as they walked out together.

“Yeah, just... tired, I guess,” Raphael mumbled, though he knew it was more than that. The tension inside him was building, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep it together.

One afternoon, as Raphael and his friends were hanging out near the basketball court, Pearl joined them. She had been spending more time with their group lately, and Raphael couldn’t help but notice the way she looked at Troy and Curtis. Her eyes lingered on them longer than usual, a playful smile curving her lips.

“So, Troy, I heard you aced the Chemistry exam,” Pearl said, her voice lilting.

Troy shrugged, a smirk on his face. “Yeah, it wasn't too hard.”

Pearl laughed, a sound that was both light and teasing. “I might need you to tutor me sometime.”

Curtis, catching the look in her eyes, nudged Troy with a grin. “Looks like someone’s got a fan.”

Pearl didn’t deny it, her gaze holding a mischievous glint. Raphael noticed the subtle way she leaned closer to Troy, her hand brushing against his arm as she spoke. There was something in her manner—something suggestive and bold—that made Raphael uneasy. He didn’t dwell on it, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that Pearl’s interest in his friends was more than just friendly.

The next was Biology, the exam covered “Human Anatomy,” with a particular focus on the nervous system. Raphael tried to focus on the intricate diagrams of neurons and synapses, but his thoughts were once again elsewhere. Oma had been spending more time with Aaron, and Raphael’s friends had started to notice.

“Raph, you’ve been off lately,” Curtis remarked during a study session. “Is something going on?”

“Nothing. Just stressed about these exams,” Raphael replied, though the lie was obvious.

David, who had been watching him closely, leaned forward. “Is it about Oma?”

Raphael didn’t answer, but his silence was telling. His friends exchanged glances, understanding dawning on them.

“You should talk to her,” David suggested gently. “Before you drive yourself crazy.”

Raphael nodded, knowing they were right. But every time he thought about confronting Oma, the fear of what she might say held him back.

That night, Raphael had another dream. In it, he saw Oma and Aaron together, their faces close as they whispered to each other. He tried to reach out to them, but his feet wouldn’t move, as if he were stuck in place. The dream shifted, and suddenly, he was standing alone in the school field, watching as Oma walked away, her hand slipping out of his grasp.

Raphael woke up with a start, his heart pounding. The dreams were getting worse, feeding his paranoia and making it harder to think clearly. He knew they weren’t real, just figments of his imagination, but they felt so vivid, so tangible, that he couldn’t shake the sense of dread they left behind.

In the midst of all this, there were other girls in his life who made him feel comfortable, the girls that belonged to Raphael’s class. Three of them—Isabella, Claire, and Naomi—quickly became close friends with him. They were kind and supportive, always ready to lend a hand or share a laugh. The other two girls, Melissa and Zoe, were more reserved, but they still hung out with the group, adding to the dynamic of the class.

Isabella, Claire, and Naomi often sat in front of Raphael during class, their conversations light and filled with the kind of camaraderie that only comes from shared experiences. They didn’t know about Raphael’s turmoil, but their presence was a welcome distraction from his worries.

Then came the Mathematics exam, Raphaels expertise was on “Trigonometry and Calculus.” Raphael usually excelled in maths, but this time, the numbers and formulas seemed to blur together. He managed to push through, his determination driving him to complete the exam despite the mental fog he was in.

When he finished, he felt drained, both physically and emotionally. His mind was still preoccupied with thoughts of Oma, the dreams, and the constant uncertainty that had taken root in his heart.

One afternoon, as Raphael was leaving the library, he saw Oma and Aaron walking together. They were deep in conversation, their expressions relaxed and familiar. Raphael felt a pang of jealousy, the sight of them together stirring up the fears he had been trying to suppress.

He wanted to confront her, to ask what was going on, but something held him back. Instead, he watched them from a distance, his thoughts spiralling into dark places.

Later that day, he ran into Grace and Pearl. They noticed his troubled expression and exchanged concerned looks.

“Are you okay, Raphael?” Grace asked gently.

“Yeah, just... thinking,” Raphael replied, forcing a smile.

Pearl, who had been unusually quiet, gave him a sympathetic look. “You know we’re here if you need to talk.”

Raphael nodded, appreciating their concern but never one to talk about anything, not even to his friends, unless they figured. The weight of his insecurities was becoming too much to bear, but he didn’t know how to let it go.

The final exam was Geography. Raphael tried to focus on the questions, but his mind kept drifting back to Oma. The past few weeks had taken a toll on him, and it was evident in the way he approached the exam—half-hearted and distracted.

As he handed in his paper, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of defeat. The exams were over, but the real challenge was just beginning. Raphael knew he couldn’t keep going like this, letting his fears control him. He had to confront Oma, to find out the truth before his imagination tore him apart.

That evening, Raphael finally gathered the courage to talk to Oma. He found her in the schoolyard, sitting alone under a tree, the golden light of the setting sun casting a warm glow around her.

“Oma, we need to talk,” Raphael began, his voice trembling slightly.

Oma looked up, her expression curious. “What’s wrong?”

Raphael took a deep breath, the words tumbling out before he could stop them. “I’ve seen you with Aaron a lot lately, and it’s been driving me crazy. I can’t stop thinking about it, and it’s affecting everything—my exams, my sleep, everything.”

Oma’s eyes softened, and she reached out to take his hand. “Raphael, Aaron is just a friend. We recently found out our families were close and we started talking. I’m sorry if it seemed like something more, but I promise you, there’s nothing between us.”

Relief washed over Raphael? Nah not so easily. He always had trust issues even when they seemed sincere, but he had mixed feelings of guilt for doubting her. “I’m sorry.”

Oma smiled, squeezing his hand gently. “It’s okay. I understand why you were worried. But you don’t have to be. You’re the one I care about.”

As they sat together, the tension between them slowly eased, replaced by a renewed sense of connection. Raphael knew he still had a lot to work through, but for the first time in weeks, he felt like things were going to be okay.

In the days that followed, Raphael’s friendships with Grace, Pearl, and his classmates continued to grow. Pearl’s playful flirting with Troy and Curtis became more apparent, though it was still lighthearted and teasing. The dynamic between them added a new layer to their group, hinting at future developments.

Raphael’s dreams began to fade, replaced by the distractions of a good time with friends and also understanding of his feelings for Oma. He had hoped that his fears had been unfounded, products of his own insecurity rather than reality.