Marry the Beast, I Want the Alpha

14

Jake POV

I took a step back and felt uncomfortable with how close her eye sockets were. Don't stare at me like that, I meant to say. Don’t look at me like I’m something worth noticing.

“Gonna head inside, I said, brushing dirt off my hands. “You staying out here?”

Her eyes flicked back to the painting, thoughtful. “Yeah. Just a little longer.”

So I did so and turned back down the garden path. [However] The moment I was out of earshot I heard her voice again.

"Jake."

I stopped, half-turning to glance over my shoulder.

"Yeah?"

She didn’t look at me. Her eyes stayed on the painting, her hands resting in her lap.

Think of the sea as carelessly struggling with the storm. She asked quietly. It wasn't loud, but I got it on my chest in the form of a weight.

I looked at her, my throat constricted, my response in some place that I couldn't access.

"Yeah," I said after a pause. "But it keeps going anyway."

Her eyes lifted slowly, locking onto mine. For a moment, I thought she might say something. But she didn’t.

She just watched me leave.

I didn’t stop walking.

Didn’t look back.

However, I could not help but feel her eyes on me all along.

Like a tide, I couldn’t escape.

★

The rain came down harder than expected. No, the gentle, rocking kind that lulled the world into a state of peace to quieten the unrest in you. No, that was the one that got you soaked in seconds, a frigid, relentless immersion. It thumped against the stone paths, soaked the flowers in the garden, and made everything smell of wet earth and greenery.

I stood against the exterior wall of the manor, eyes half shut, as rain splashed down on my cheek. The cool bite of it didn’t bother me. I’d felt worse.

The house behind me buzzed with life servants rushing to prepare for the ceremony, voices shouting orders, and the metallic clang of silverware being polished. It was all noise. Unfocused. Distant.

Out here, it was quiet.

Quieter, at least.

I lurked in the fringes, always a ghost waiting to be seen. That was the whole point, wasn’t it? Be seen, but unseen. Present, but forgettable. People rarely noticed the one person meant to keep them safe.

But she noticed.

Did you wonder if the sea ever tires of the tempest?

Her sentence sat heavy, unwelcome between her ears. It wasn’t the kind of thing you could just brush off. She always knew how to get under all the armor I built over the years. Most people didn’t notice cracks in the shell, but she saw them every time.

I hated that about her.

No.

I hated that I didn’t hate it.

I brought my head forward and watched the heavy rain in the sky. Water Perrin dripped to my cheek, to the chin, and the collar of my shirt. The chill of it grounded me. Kept me from thinking too much.

I should’ve gone back inside. I should have stayed out of the spotlight just like I was supposed to. But I didn’t. Not tonight. For some reason, the storm made it impossible to escape.

The sudden snap of a door closing at the back of me jolted me out of contemplation. I didn’t have to look to know who it was. Her footsteps were different from the others. Softer. She. Moved in a way that she wanted to be invisible, yet in a way that she care less about it.

Morticia.

I turned and I saw her walking through the door and into the garden, with a thin shawl draped over her shoulders. No way around it, rain befell her, yet she stood under it, cool as cucumber. She turned her face up to the sky and allowed the rain to fall upon her as a kind of baptism. Her eyes were closed, and for a moment, I wondered if she’d even seen me.

But then her eyes opened, and they found me like they always did.

She didn’t smile. She didn’t frown either. She looked at me the same way I looked at another part of the storm. A place that had always been out of reach, at the border of her universe, etc.

Her shawl slipped from her shoulders with the seconds it took for its moisture to soak into her dress. The fabric clung to her skin, her hair sticking to the sides of her face, golden strands plastered to her cheeks and neck. She didn’t seem to notice. Or maybe she didn’t care.

You'll catch it," I said, more warning in my voice than I intended to convey.

She arched an eyebrow, her lips just slightly turning up at the corners. “That’s the best you’ve got, Jake? I thought you were supposed to be observant.”

Observation’s on the job, I grumbled moving off the wall and toward her. And I'm witnessing a woman foolish enough to take a rain stroll without a raincoat.

Look at us," she then said, turning her head, her stare piercing right through me. “A fool and a hypocrite.”

I let out a low chuckle despite myself. “Fair.”

Her gaze dropped to the floor and her fingertips traced the loose fabric of the arm. She did that when she was thinking too hard. They had to tear things down in hopes of staying intact.

That's too noisy in there," she said, nodding across the street at the house after us. Everybody’s going gaga over flowers and table decorations as if it’s the end of the world. Her lips stayed pressed into a thin line. “Like it matters.”

I didn’t respond. She wasn’t looking for an answer.

Her shoulders slumped like she'd been constantly carrying something for no one. Rain ran down her cheeks wrapped itself at the level of her jaw and streamed down the end of her chin.

Been there feeling like you’re being dragged along by something that transcends you? she asked, her eyes never leaving the ground. This time her voice was much more gentle, as if she wasn't sure that she wanted me to hear her. “Like you’re just supposed to... follow it. Even if you don’t know where it’s taking you?”

Every damn day. I felt like that.