SELF HATE
201 Words
The mysteries of life looked me straight in the face.
Once again……….
The feelings I disbursed made their way back
Once again…………….
The feeling of self-hate and of an unidentified weakness.
The lingering torment of an unknown trauma filled me with guilt.
Ooh, how I tried…………
Ooh, how I tried to end it all
Ooh, how I tried to find that relief
But the rotten inside prevailed.
Talk about demons………. Sigh.
The vivid description of the twelve stages of hell seemed oddly familiar.
It felt so real…... like I had seen it before.
It felt so real ......just like every other day i drown in my mind.
It felt like a thousand ants were moving on my body.
It felt painful…….
Once again, I feel I could tell my story to get rid of my troubles.
But once again..... I decide against it……...
Once again, I sort to calm down my nerves.......in my own way.
I saw and felt myself choking on my food
My lips burned with a furious intensity i wished to get rid of.
An intensity I somehow loved
An intensity I somehow grew to love
Once again…… in all the corners of my heart,
I feel undeserving.
- Writer
