The journey

DEAR DIARY

MY DEAR DIARY

It felt surreal…... how could I still feel this?

I didn’t lose the feelings…... the feeling I never bargained for

I thought it went away because he wasn’t being nice to me……...

But I must admit ……... that was because I avoided texting.

But now I see him……. He comes to me

He is too nice to me…... to a fault.

He stares at me…...he stares too deeply

With a mesmerized look……a look of someone that is locked in

Would it make me a bad person if I went clean with him??

Not a bad person to him…. But to his person?

It shows

I see it……... that look

It has always been there.

Could it be love we both don’t understand or are too scared to decipher??

I still look at that picture, I am tempted to send more …...

I still hear him saying to wait for him…... that we would do it together.

I was sad, so I thought about doing it alone……... but I stopped.

The lingering warning in my heart told me that it would keep me hooked all the more.

Is it all foolishness to think I stand a chance?

Is it the delusion that comes with the feeling of love?

I wish I could rule him off…... or maybe I could

Is it the fear of being lonely that holds me off?

But what about the promise I made to myself?

I never want to be this vulnerable.

Is it time to put an end to this?

Dear diary…… I need your help once more