Whispers

Excursions

The bus emptied at a stop near a wide bustling alley lined with stores on both sides and stalls along the middle. Karina waited until everyone got off before she took Lucius’ hand and pulled him along with her. She hopped onto the pavement while Lucius made a less than graceful landing, stumbling forward a few feet.

He was so focused on the hand that held his that he didn’t pay attention to what was happening until he needed to regain his balance. He lost all the suave he possessed as a whisperer around Karina. She was so bubbly and so easy to hang around that he forgot everything he was. If this was what it meant to be human, he wondered what he needed to do to become it twenty-four seven.

Why someone would contemplate taking their own lives was beyond him if a mere hour in Karina’s presence lifted his mood significantly. Everyone needed someone like her—a ray of light that could pierce through the thickest of dark clouds.

“Come on, silly. We have a lot of stores to visit before dinner.” Karina gestured for him to follow as she plunged into the melee.

He shook his head and stuffed his hands into his pockets then took a step toward the direction Karina disappeared to. He had to dodge a mother pushing a stroller and a couple holding hands before he located her bending over a bouquet of peach roses stuffed into one of a row of black pails outside a quaint flower shop.

It was easy finding her. All he had to do was look around for a golden red braid flapping behind a slender back. The roses set off her complexion marvelously as she smiled at a woman in a black apron with the flower shop’s name and logo at its center. They exchanged a few words before Karina pointed at the pink carnations in the bucket next to the roses. She paid the woman for a dozen and waited while the flowers were wrapped.

Next time—his heart fluttered at the possibility of a next time—Lucius would make sure to bring money. Something in him wanted to provide for everything she wanted. It was a vicious feeling, one accompanied by a primal sense of protectiveness and the need to announce to everyone present that she was with him. It was alien, scary, yet right. Inexplicably right.

“Why carnations?” he asked, genuinely curious. “I would have thought you’d buy the roses.”

Karina touched the peach ones again. He imagined how her soft fingers would feel on the velvety petals.

“Roses seem like such serious flowers, don’t you think? I believe carnations are sweeter. Plus, they last longer.”

“Here you go,” said the woman who took Karina’s purchase inside. She handed over the bouquet wrapped in newspaper with a smile.

“Thank you, Mrs. Kent.” Karina returned the woman’s smile. She rummaged through her backpack and exchanged the carnations for a small vial filled with clear liquid. “And as promised, here’s the perfume you wanted.”

Mrs. Kent removed the vial’s cork and took a whiff. Delight washed over her youthful features. “Just exactly what I asked for. It’s wonderful. You know, you should really let me pay you for this.”

“Oh, please, Mrs. Kent.” Karina held up both hands, even if the other clutched the bundle of carnations. “I can’t take your money for something I do for fun.”

“Such a sweet girl. Let’s do it this way,” Mrs. Kent raised a finger, “next batch of carnations are one me. What do you say?”

“I can’t say no to that.”

Mrs. Kent’s hazel eyes moved to Lucius, who was content to watch the exchange in awed silence. Again, Karina’s kindness floored him. She didn’t seem real. Yet, every breath he took in was filled with the scent of her. His lungs wouldn’t be the same again.

“And who is this handsome young man with you?”

“Mrs. Kent, this is Lucius Clark.” Karina gestured to him. “Lucius, this is Mrs. Noelle Kent. She owns Occasional Bouquet. Best flowers in town, I’d say.”

“Dear, you flatter me too much.” Mrs. Kent giggled demurely.

“I say compliment. Anyway, Lucius was so nice to offer to help with my errands today.”

And as if to prove the point, Lucius took the bundle of flowers from Karina before shaking Mrs. Kent’s hand.

“It’s nice meeting you, ma’am,” he said. “They are indeed beautiful flowers.”

“Well,” Mrs. Kent touched the center of her chest, “you don’t see such nice young men anymore.” She wiggled her eyebrows at Karina. “He’s a keeper, this one.”

Lucius was too preoccupied hiding his blush to hear Karina’s reply. His face was so hot, the breeze that brushed his cheeks felt icy on his skin. Karina bid the woman good day and moved on to a stall selling freshly baked bread. The heavenly smell was enough to bring Lucius back to the present.

Whisperers didn’t need to eat actual food since they fed on residual energy, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t appreciate the aroma. He could eat if he wanted to, but he didn’t have to.

A rotund man in a white apron with flour underneath his fingernails exited the store. His white hat was askew on his equally round head. If it were winter, Lucius would think the baker was a snowman, but instead of snow, he’d be made of flour.

“Karina!” he called in a booming voice. “How is my lovely young lady today?”

Karina rushed up to the man and gave him a hug. For a second, Lucius was concerned for her when the baker wrapped his beefy arms—from all the kneading he did on a daily basis—around Karina’s slim body. He thought she’d break. But the laugh that came out of her reassured him into not doing anything stupid. He contented himself to watch. It was starting to become a pattern, and he wouldn’t be surprised if Karina was known to all the merchants.

“How’re the kids, Mr. Higgs? Does Danny still need a math tutor?” Karina inquired when the large man put her down.

“The tips you gave him really helped. He says he’s ready to ace that quiz he’s got coming up.” Mr. Higgs’s smile showed off such a jolly countenance that Lucius scrapped the image of a snowman for another holiday figure. The big daddy of them all. “So, what will it be today, young lady? I've got sourdough fresh from the oven.”

Karina beamed. "I'll have a loaf of that sourdough, some pumpernickel, and some of those sticky buns if you still have them."

“Oh, you know I set some aside just for you.”

“You’re the best, Mr. Higgs.”

The jolly baker laughed and disappeared into his store. To Lucius' ears, it sounded like "Ho, ho, ho.”

He leaned toward Karina, his arm brushing hers, and said, “Who knew Santa would be baking when not supervising the North Pole?”

Karina giggled and covered her mouth to whisper into his ear. “Has to be our little secret. Wouldn’t want the kids to know. Just imagine the flood of letters it would bring.”

Her cheek was so close that Lucius had to stop himself from bending down further and planting a kiss on it. Mr. Higgs came out with Karina’s order just in time for Lucius to return to his good senses. He didn’t think she would appreciate the intrusion, no matter how nice she was.

“Here you go.” He handed Karina the bag and she reached for her wallet. Mr. Higgs backed away. “No, my dear. Please think of it as a ‘thank you’ for helping my Danny out.”

Karina hugged the bread like they were the most precious things on earth. “Oh, Mr. Higgs, that’s so kind of you. Don’t hesitate to call me if Danny needs help again. Or for anything you might need, babysitting, anything.”

“You’re a good girl, Karina.” He reached out and patted her head. “Now, move along, Mr. Watanabe has great fish for you today.”

“Thanks, Mr. Higgs.”

Karina gave him one more smile and a quick wave. Then she handed Lucius the bag of bread, which he took readily, and shuffled her way into a*****e that catered to Japanese groceries and lots and lots of fish. Most of them were in freezers while the others were still alive in aquariums. He moved to one with the largest catfish he’d ever seen. They wriggled like snakes in the water, their long bodies rubbing against each other and their long mustaches twitching. So engrossed with the fish was he that he vaguely heard Karina talking to a man with a Japanese accent. It made sense that a Japanese man would own a Japanese store.

What surprised Lucius more was the feeling of normalcy that came over him the moment he took that seat beside Karina on the bus. All his whispering, the sins he’s committed, seemed to melt away. It didn’t feel like it was their first shopping trip together. And it was nice, homey.

So this was what it was like to interact with humans, he thought to himself.

In his centuries of being a whisperer, never had he come into contact with humans unless he was about to whisper to them. With the exception of Shamus, Desmond, and Tomas, Lucius kept to himself. If he didn’t have to leave his house, he wouldn’t, content to be alone. To read. To organize paperwork. To stare into the fireplace.

Lucius sighed. A realization hit him. “I don’t have a life.”

He could hear Desmond laughing at him, wherever his friend was in the world.

“Like the catfish, I see,” Karina said as she handed him another bag. Lucius studied its contents. “Cream dory. Planning on making some fish and chips tonight. Ever taste them with a beer batter? It’s phenomenal.”

Lucius shook his head.

“Well, today’s your lucky day. You’re officially invited over for dinner.”

“I am?”

She nodded once. “It’s the least I could do for helping me carry all this.”

“They’re not that heavy.” Lucius attempted a shrug, but it came out awkward, stiff.

Mischief mixed with the smile on her face. “You better not regret what you just said, mister. The afternoon’s not over yet.”

He adjusted her purchase in his hands. The left held on to the fish and the right had the flowers and bread. Somehow it didn’t seem right to mix bread and raw fish together.

“So, where next?” Lucius trailed Karina out of the store.

“The grocer. I need a few more ingredients to complete the fish and chips plan.” Karina pointed in the direction they needed to go and snaked her arms around his.

At Karina’s touch, another blush burned through his face. He had to concentrate on walking as she moved them forward or else he’d fall flat on the pavement. He didn’t think he’d have any dignity left if that happened.

To distract himself, he listened intently to Karina pointing out each store and what was sold there. She waved at so many people Lucius’ head swam from it. He was right; she really did know all the merchants in the alley. And they all knew her. What would have taken a couple of minutes at the grocer turned into fifteen because she had to stop and say a few words to each stall owner she passed. Lucius was introduced to so many people he didn’t think he could keep all their names straight.

“Wait,” he said at one point. “Let me see if I have it all straight. The man selling ice cream is Mr. Teller while the woman selling jewelry is Mrs. Carter.”

"Yes, and the guy who owns the hot dog stand—"

“Is Mr. Kohl,” he interrupted.

Karina jumped and clapped at the same time. “See, it’s not that hard, now is it?”

Yes, it was.

Something happened between Mr. Watanabe’s store and the grocer’s. The three purchases Lucius held multiplied to ten, and Karina didn’t have to pay for any of the new additions. He held on to a takeaway box of hot dog sandwiches—three dogs and buns with everything on it. A pint of ice cream joined the bag of fish. Karina insisted it was fine to mix the two, and that the ice cream would keep the fish cool.

The earrings from Mrs. Carter, Karina thankfully pocketed. Then there was a small pouch of potatoes from Ms. Cicely’s garden (she sold handcrafted plates and bowls) and a sweater from an old lady who sold her knitwear at one of the middle stalls. When Karina said she had shopping to do, he didn’t expect this much. He had to bite his tongue from teasing her about his earlier comment about the bags not being heavy. He could lift a car if he wanted to, but Karina kept giving him concerned glances as each new item was added to his already loaded hands. He assured her that he was fine.

“How come they keep giving you things?” he asked when they finally reached the double doors of the grocery store.

Karina grabbed a cart and motioned for Lucius to dump everything he was carrying inside. He complied without comment.

“I don’t question someone’s generosity. Do you?” She looked up at him and he didn’t know how to answer the question.

No one had really given him anything. Not even Desmond. They were friends, but they were not the type who gave gifts to each other. In fact, Lucius didn’t know if whisperers gave each other gifts. They catered to each other’s whims, but being a host didn’t necessarily equate to giving gifts. Did it? Besides, what would he give someone who had or could get everything and anything they wanted? It was the perk of the job.

Seeing his obvious discomfort, Karina touched his arm, which he noticed was something she did a lot. She loved touching people. Hugs. Kisses on the cheek. He was sure Karina didn’t even notice how tactile she was. Not that he minded. The blushes were under control now. He was less conscious about being with her.

“I’d like to think that gifts are a way to show people they think of your welfare, whether it be material or in kind. I would give as much to them as they would to me. Maybe even more. It’s as simple as that.” She smiled brightly and pushed the cart between two aisles of canned goods.

Karina said things with so much conviction that Lucius could do nothing but believe her. She was the kind of girl who stood for what she believed in. Gifts. Kindness as a way to show people they were thought of.

Lucius blinked twice before he followed after Karina. He’d been around humans for so long, but never did he take the time to understand their ways. To have someone explain it to him was refreshing. Observing from afar in a detached manner was worlds apart from actually being a part of the action.

In that afternoon alone, Lucius had to pull out everything he’d been taught about being polite. Tomas had grilled manners into him as a young whisperer, but he didn’t think it would come in so handy.

Whisperers naturally deferred toward the ranks they had achieved over time. Those of a certain rank were treated with respect by whisperers lower down the ladder while the higher ups were expected to be proper examples of decorum to the young ones. It was common sense. At least, to Lucius it was. But with humans, everything was different. No ranks. Everyone was equal in measure, and as such, they were treated with the same amount of respect.

This lighter side of the human psyche shocked Lucius. All he knew were the depravities that led others to kill themselves. He didn’t know there was a side so solely good. It seemed staged.

“Can you reach for that box of pancake mix, please?” Karina pointed at the top shelf.

It took Lucius a couple of seconds to process what she’d asked him. Her timing was always spot on. The moment he started going into a darker place inside himself, she’d pull him out again.

He reached up and asked, “Which one, the buttermilk or the vanilla?”

“Let’s go for vanilla this time. I’ve always wondered what it tasted like in a pancake.”

“Vanilla it is.” He grabbed the blue box and placed it into the cart.

“What are you thinking about when you get really quiet like a couple of seconds ago?” She pointed at his forehead. “That knot keeps coming back.”

Lucius rubbed at the spot she’d indicated. He hadn’t realized his brows would come together so frequently until she had noticed it.

“I guess you can say I’m not used to this kind of thing,” he hedged.

“This kind of thing?” Karina considered, maneuvering the cart into another aisle. “You don’t shop often, I take it?”

Lucius decided to go with her train of thought. The less he had to explain himself the better.

“Yeah. I guess you can say this was a spur of the moment thing for me.”

She pulled a carton of milk off another shelf. “Are you enjoying yourself, at least? Not bored of me yet?”

“What would make you think that?”

“Well, it’s just you get all quiet. Like you go somewhere else when really you should be here . . . with me.” She added the last bit in a whisper.

Lucius almost missed it. “I am here.”

It was his turn to touch her arm. She stopped and looked up at him. For a second he forgot what he was about to say. Being hit with her full attention, those blue eyes gazing at him intently, was enough to knock him out.

“I . . . I actually want to thank you for letting me come along. I apologize if I seem out of sorts. This is just all so new to me.”

With a trust Lucius didn’t think he deserved, Karina’s face brightened. She didn’t question his reply. She just smiled and resumed prattling on about what else she needed to buy before heading home.

His heart skipped. This girl. The one who didn't remember saving his life welcomed him into hers without hesitation. She took him in like a puppy left on the side of the road. She introduced him to the people she knew. And not once did she ask him personal questions. She accepted what he’d give her. No ifs, ands, or buts.

He watched her turn a corner, and the moment he lost sight of her, emptiness spread through him like the most barren of landscapes. Even if he knew she was only an aisle away, his whole being ached. Physically ached to be with her again.

Unable to move from where he stood, Lucius closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he found himself in his room. Dark. Cold. And alone. What was he doing thinking for a second that he could act like a human with Karina? He was a whisperer. One who led others to do such despicable things. Who watched a boy bring a gun to school to shoot those who hurt him. And he orchestrated it all himself.

A tear escaped the corner of his eye, burning its way down his face until it reached his chin and dropped to the floor.

He shivered violently.

He wrapped his arms around himself and fell to his knees, sobbing.