My Broken Heart

Chapter 1

I handled the funeral arrangements for my son Jasper without saying a word. Six years ago, I brought him into this world; six years later, I saw him leave.

When some people saw me managing everything alone, they asked, "Where's his mother?" I shook my head without speaking, only to meet with the remark, "What a heartless mother!"

But what difference did that make? My son was already gone. I'd never forget the moment his lips turned dark suddenly as he clutched his chest, calling out, "Daddy, my heart hurts... Where's Mommy? Does she not want me anymore?" His voice grew weaker until he passed away.

Three days later, my son was cremated. I didn't bury him in a cemetery; Jasper was afraid of strangers, and there were a lot of them there. He would be scared.

I placed his ashes in his favorite porcelain box, along with his favorite toys, and took them to the outskirts of the city. It was a small hill covered with wildflowers, a place Jasper loved and called a park.

I chose a spot with the best view, dug a hole, and prepared to bury Jasper's ashes. Suddenly, a familiar voice came from behind.

"Do you remember this place?"

"How could I forget, Hannah? We loved playing here when we were kids."

"Antonio!"

"Hannah..."

I turned my head in disbelief and saw my wife Hannah and Antonio Parker walking side by side, followed by several bodyguards a dozen feet behind.

'What are they doing here?' I thought.

Recalling the conversation I just overheard, I realized something quickly. Jasper liked this place because Hannah seldom took him out, and when she did, they would come here. It wasn't that Jasper liked the place so much but rather that he liked being with his mom.

I never knew this place held special meaning for Hannah. 'Is it a place of fond memories with her ex?' I wondered.

When they saw me, Hannah asked awkwardly, "Calvin, what are you doing here?" Then her expression darkened. "Are you following me? Stop being so childish, will you? Antonio just returned from abroad, and I'm just taking a walk with him."

I replied with a nod and walked past Hannah, holding my son's ashes. I changed my mind—I didn't want to bury my son here. Why should I? So he could watch his mom meet other men?

"Stop right there!" Hannah grabbed me. "I'm talking to you; didn't you hear me?"

I frowned and shook her hand off, "What is there to say? Do we have anything left to discuss?"

Hannah complained, "I just missed your call; that's all. I was in a hurry and had a few drinks after catching up with Antonio later, so I didn't answer. Don't act like a child!"

'In a hurry?' No, when I was holding my son on the Ferris wheel 820 feet high, calling Hannah repeatedly, she must have seen it, but she just didn't want to answer! She was in a hurry to meet her ex-boyfriend, unwilling to waste time on us. Otherwise, she could have turned back to bring medicine, and Jasper might not have died.

A sudden pain struck my heart, creating a sense of suffocation. Even though I was in the open field, I found it hard to breathe and shook off Hannah's hand forcefully.

Hannah was displeased. "Calvin, what are you throwing a fit about again? Can't you ever be a mature man? Think whatever you want; your head is full of filthy stuff anyway."

She didn't bother to explain further but started adjusting her collar. I noticed a necklace with gold threads around her neck, seemingly from a brand called Tiffany, worth hundreds of thousands. But something else that should have been hanging around her neck was missing.

I became furious instantly, grabbed her hand, and demanded, "Where's the amulet?"

There was supposed to be an amulet that my son and I had made for Hannah. The amulet was crafted from precious wood and had a hidden compartment where I placed special medicine for treating hereditary heart failure.

In fact, the amulet was meant for Jasper. Since Hannah had hereditary heart failure, Jasper was also at risk, having inherited her genes.

Even though annual physicals showed everything was fine with Jasper in the past few years, and Hannah firmly believed our son hadn't inherited it, I wasn't reassured. So, I made the amulet for him, intending for him to wear it for life without taking it off.

Jasper helped me make the amulet happily. I said it could be a birthday gift from me, and he said his mommy must have been in a lot of pain giving birth to him, so he wanted to give it to her as a gift and asked me to make another one for him.

So, the amulet ended up on Hannah's neck, but before the new one was ready, illness struck Jasper first. I still remember him telling Hannah not to take it off, saying it was like he and Hannah were always together.

Hannah agreed at the time, but now, facing my questions, she said nonchalantly, "I threw it away because I threw up on it after drinking too much, and it smelled bad."

'She threw it away...' I swayed a little. I would have fainted if not for the ashes of Jasper that I was holding. 'How could she say it so casually?'

I gritted my teeth. "Hannah, do you know what that amulet stands for?"

If Jasper hadn't loved Hannah so much, the amulet would have been on his neck, and he wouldn't have died that day. It stood for his love for Hannah and his life!

Hannah frowned. "It's just a wooden amulet; what could it stand for? It was just a toy for the kid; did you take it for some treasure? Did you think I'd wear it forever? Maybe Jasper forgot about it himself, and you're bringing up these trivial matters to argue with me."

'Forgot about it?' I sneered and said, "Ask him yourself later and see if he forgot."

I wanted to leave right then; mentioning Jasper to her made me feel nauseous.

Hannah shouted from behind, "Calvin, stop right there!" She caught up with me. "You think you can just leave after throwing a tantrum? And by the way, since you have time to follow me around, who's taking care of Jasper? Isn't the kindergarten closed today?"

I looked into her eyes, clutching the urn in my arms as I bellowed in a hoarse voice. "How dare you mention Jasper?"

"He is my son. I carried him for ten months. Why can't I mention him? Where is he?" Hannah asked.

I held the ashes closer, wanting to say Jasper was right here, but the words got stuck in my throat. When he was born, he was just over five pounds, so small and light in my arms. Now, turned to ashes, he felt just as weightless in my embrace.

It was like the past six years were just a fleeting dream, empty and pointless.

Antonio couldn't hold back his anger, his tone sarcastic as he said, "Hannah, is this your husband? He is an ignorant, rude country bumpkin. He doesn't even respond when you talk to him. Why are you still with him? You should divorce this guy right now."

Hannah looked embarrassed as if she was asking herself the same question.

I raised my head slowly, ignoring Antonio, looked at Hannah, and said calmly, "Hannah, let's get a divorce."

Hannah looked both surprised and angry as if she'd been insulted. She demanded, "Calvin, what do you mean? Are you asking for a divorce?"

"Yes, I want a divorce." I forced a smile, pointing at Antonio. "Didn't he tell me over the phone that if it weren't for Jasper, you would have divorced me long ago? Then what are we waiting for? Let's divorce."

Hannah frowned. "What about Jasper? He's so young. Do you want him to grow up in a single-parent family? That will ruin his life."

'Grow up? Can he grow up? No, he can't!' I felt all my strength drain away as I said weakly, "Don't mention him. I'll prepare the divorce papers; all you need to do is sign them."

"What do you mean don't mention him?" Hannah looked at me suspiciously. "Why don't you bring up divorce in front of Jasper and see who he wants to stay with?"

I looked down at the urn, thinking to myself, 'I have already done that in front of Jasper.' I felt deep sorrow. "He doesn't need to say who he wants to stay with."

"What do you mean?" Hannah suddenly got anxious, "Did you hide him somewhere or take him to the countryside? Are you trying to use our son to get back at me? Calvin, I didn't expect you to be such a despicable man!"

She continued, "But do you think that will work? Do you think I can't find him? With the power of my family, as long as he's alive, I will find him sooner or later!"

Hannah's anger surged, and the usually hidden, arrogant air of a rich girl burst forth.

'Alive? If our son were really still alive, what would it matter if you found him?' I muttered inwardly.

"Then find him! Go look for him! Now!" I shouted hoarsely, my voice breaking.

Hannah seemed startled and fell silent. Antonio stepped forward and shoved me, saying angrily, "Who the hell are you yelling at? Stop acting tough while living off a woman. As long as I'm alive, don't even think about having a good time. Where is Jasper? Tell me!"

I couldn't fight back because I was protecting my son's ashes, so Antonio grabbed me by the collar and questioned me. His other hand was clenched into a fist, ready to hit me if I gave the wrong answer.

'Am I scared? What the hell would I be afraid of?' I looked up and sneered, "I have nothing to say to you. If you want to know, go find out yourselves."

'Do I really need to tell them where Jasper is?' I asked myself. If Hannah, as a mother, cared even a little about Jasper, there were a million ways she could find out about his situation. She could ask the nanny, her secretary, her assistant, and Jasper's teacher. Every one of them could tell her.

So many days have passed. She was still unaware of Jasper's death, yet she had the nerve to question me.

"You fucking..." Antonio swung a fist at me, but Hannah stopped him. "Antonio! Stop!"

"Hmph!" Antonio shoved me aside and walked over to Hannah, saying, "Hannah, is this motherfucker really your husband? Look at him, he's such a loser."

Hannah shook her head. "Don't say that."

Antonio looked indignant. He said, "I have to say it today. If he dared to fight back, I'd respect him as a tough guy. But all he does is hold onto a stupid box like it's some treasure. Pathetic! Why did you marry this coward?"

Antonio was on moral high ground, relishing his insults. Hannah seemed shaken as if she truly felt she had made the wrong choice. She whispered, "Stop it. After all, he saved my life back then."

I wished I hadn't saved her.

Years ago, I met Hannah accidentally. She was a rich young lady traveling alone. She got lost hiking and was so exhausted that her hereditary heart failure acted up, leaving her too weak to even take her medication.

I happened to pass by, but she couldn't speak. Through her gestures, I figured out she needed her meds and found them, barely pulling her back from the brink of death.

We got to know each other, and Hannah insisted I work at her family's company. Eventually, we got together and married.

Our marriage faced opposition from everyone, both my poor relatives and her wealthy ones. We ignored them. Yes, Hannah once fought hard for us to be together. I was moved, thinking it was love, but it turned out to be a tragedy.

"I've heard you talk about repaying kindness. But this motherfucker has lived off you for years. Haven't you repaid his kindness enough?" Antonio sneered, "Since he dared to mention divorce, just agree. Let him go and see if he has any backbone."

Hannah seemed conflicted, parting her lips a few times without making a sound.

I sneered and turned to leave. "Then it's settled. I'll go pack my things and see you at the city clerk's office tomorrow."

"Stop him!"

I hadn't walked far when Antonio ordered the bodyguards to stop me and caught up with me.

"You reminded me. Why are you in such a hurry to leave? Are you planning to steal something? Don't think a divorce means you'll get rich. I'm telling you, for making Hannah so sad, I will make sure you won't get a penny."

I just sneered. "Are you done?"

'Money? Money means nothing to me!' I thought.

"Not yet! Hannah, come take a look. What did this asshole steal from you?" Antonio shouted, running his hand over Jasper's urn casually.

"He might not have been following you; he probably stole something precious from home and wanted to bury it," Antonio said, pointing to the hole I had dug earlier.

Hannah stepped forward, frowning. "Stop it. I know you're not a bad guy, Calvin. Tell me where Jasper is, and we'll go pick him up. Can we talk about this later?"

Antonio slapped the urn hard, looking dissatisfied. "What's there to talk about with him, Hannah? You're being too soft-hearted to him."

Two bodyguards pinned my shoulders, rendering me immobile. I bit my lip until it almost bled as I roared, "Get your f*****g hands off!"

"Why are you so nervous? Now I'm more curious about what's inside." Antonio sneered as he kicked the bottom of the urn suddenly. I couldn't hold onto it, watching helplessly as it flew, fell, and shattered. Jasper's ashes scattered on the ground.

I was stunned, my heart bleeding in pain. I was too afraid to even breathe, terrified that I might somehow inhale my son into my lungs.

Hannah looked disgusted, covering her mouth with a handkerchief and stepping back several paces.

Antonio coughed a couple of times and yelled, "That's gross! Who knows what disgusting stuff was inside? What a bad luck to see you here!"

"I'll kill you!" A surge of strength allowed me to break free from the bodyguards' restraint. I picked up a shard of the broken urn from the ground and lunged at Antonio, pressing it hard against his throat. The broken piece was sharp. It pierced his skin instantly, and blood flowed down his neck.

Antonio's legs went weak; I could feel his whole body shaking as he stammered, "D-Don't do anything rash."

Hannah's eyes were filled with worry and pain as she shouted, "Calvin, don't be impulsive. Think of Jasper; you wouldn't want him to have a killer for a father, right?"

'Jasper...' I looked at the scattered ashes on the ground mixed with dust, and all my strength was sapped from my body.

What good would it do to kill him? Jasper was already gone, but at the very least, I needed to gather his ashes and put them somewhere proper.

I released Antonio, took off my clothes, and began to scoop up the ashes into them carefully.

Antonio shrieked, his voice trembling, "f**k you, you f*****g lunatic!"

Hannah inspected Antonio's wound, turned pale with anger at the sight of his blood, and yelled at me, "We'll settle this later." She pressed a handkerchief against Antonio's wound and called her assistant, putting it on speaker, "Get a helicopter to my location; someone's injured. And bring Jasper back; don't let him near Calvin again. He's a lunatic."

The assistant was silent for a long time before saying, "But... Mrs. Carter, your son has been cremated..."