Carnal House

Doubting my decisions.-Ryker

Trophy wives. The exact opposite of what I am, I skinned my knees as a kid rollerblading, I don’t know anything about elegant parties much less keeping my opinions to myself. The thought of disappointing Fox sends a wave of guilt through me, but the thought of him going with someone else had me feeling jealous.

John holds out my jacket, sliding it up over my shoulders when I thread my arms through.

“Get out of your head, lass.”

“Distract me then, tell me why identical twins speak with two culturally different accents.” I prayed he didn’t notice my reaction to being called lass. The last thing I need right now is another emotional shipwreck. John gives me a small smile, a dimple appearing in his cheek. He walked me to the black SUV, opening the passenger door for me. He doesn’t answer me until he has started the car, turning his body towards mine.

“Our mother died when we were young, our father having lost his one true love, took it out on us. We of course, acted out as the Americans say, he felt it best to separate us. Connor to an academy in London, I to a similar one in Edinburgh. It did little good as we wrote each other daily, our shared hatred for our father and mourning for our mother bringing us closer.” My heart broke for them both, I can’t imagine life without my mom and I understand having a father that doesn’t love you.

“I am so sorry.” I said, a tear rolling down my cheek.

“Oh, don’t cry for us, darling, we have the chance at a happy ending now.” He said, the back doors opening so the boys could climb in.

“Are we going or what?” Ash asked, lost in his phone. John obliged, pulling out onto the street.

“What happened to your father?” I asked, dying to know if he got what he deserved. Connor leaned between our seats, arguing with John in Gaelic. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. Please don’t fight.”

Connor turns to me. “Cha bu chòir dhut innse dhi mu dheidhinn sin.” I know he isn’t speaking to me and that his words were for John alone.

“Cha dean mi breug dhi, a bhràthair. When we graduated the academies, we confronted him, we were harsh. His guilt drove him to hang himself in the room where our mother died.” Connor throws himself back into his seat, saying what I can only imagine was a curse. “We killed him. Then came here.”

He made a point of not looking at me, he honestly believed that they had killed their father. No matter what words they said to him, words they had every right to get off their chests, their father was the only one to make the decision to take his own life.

“Did you tie the rope around his neck?” I asked carefully, catching Ash’s gaze for a second before looking back at John.

“No, we didn’t.” Connor answered.

“Then you didn’t kill him. His choice was his own, I know you know that.” Connor reaches over my seat to squeeze my shoulder; we spend the rest of the drive in silence.

“I’m telling you; a California king is your best option.” John said, standing at the end of a massive bed with a brushed iron bedframe, the metal bending and curling at the head and foot.

“I am 5 foot 3, John, why would I need all of this room?” The three of them just stare at me, when I finally get it my cheeks heat. “You can’t be serious.”

“As a heart attack, love.” All three of their phones go off at the same time, Connor is the only one that looks at it.

“Patrick says two weeks; Fox wants to add a sunroom alcove for the bed, so he needs the measurements.” He looked at me, “what am I telling him, love?”

“Whatever you think is best.” I said walking away to find furniture to match the bed, I wasn’t alone for very long.

“If you don’t like the bed, you need to say something.” Ash said, wrapping his arms around my waist while I ran my fingers along a sleek black dresser.

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it, just that it is too much space.” I pulled the tag from the dresser, the set included the dresser, a vanity with a mirror, a jewelry case, full length mirror and two bedside tables. I didn’t know the exact amount of space that I had to work with but based on the floorplan of the house I had a good feeling this would all fit.

“Is the thought of more than one of us in your bed unappealing?” He asked, nuzzling into my neck, which couldn’t have been comfortable since he was over six feet tall.

“If you knew the books I’ve enjoyed you wouldn’t even ask that. My fantasies are filled with all sorts of filthy things. I still worry about causing issues.” I said, pulling away to stand at Connor’s side, he hadn’t moved, waiting for an actual answer from me. Frowning at him I pulled the tag from the bed, handing both to him. “The bedding set as well. I’m going to the book store.”

I stop in front of John, “can you please choose a rug and a paint color that complement the frame and the bedding without me? I need some space.” He just nodded and let me go. Their argument in the car wasn’t over me, I knew that but being at odds because of me wasn’t ok. If it was starting now before we’ve even really done anything, what will it be like when we have?