Rue

7

It's seven in the evening when Xiao Zhan's class for the day has finally come to an end. He packed his things, put his bag on and was about to go out when Xuan Lu, a blockmate, called his name.

Xiao Zhan smiled at the woman and raised his brows, "Yeah?"

Xuan Lu jogged towards him, her bag swaying behind her, "Do you want to go eat dinner with me and Zhuocheng?"

Xiao Zhan inhaled and decided, eating with his friends wouldn't hurt. And so, he agreed.

Xuan Lu smiled timidly and nodded, "Zhuocheng's class will end shortly. Let's go."

He felt Xuan Lu's hand wrap around his wrists, he didn't complain anymore.

He had known Xuan Lu since his freshman year, and Wang Zhuocheng was introduced just in the beginning of his sophomore year. Wang Zhuocheng is in the same college level with Wang Yibo and is Xuan Lu's cousin and since Xuan Lu has been a friend of his, he had a quite good relationship with Wang Zhuocheng.

Xiao Zhan and Xuan Lu sat on the bench just right in front of Wang Zhuocheng's current room. Silence engulfed for a good minute until Xuan Lu started a conversation.

Xuan Lu, "How are you?"

Xiao Zhan looked at Xuan Lu and gave her a timid smile, "Fine."

Xuan Lu nodded, "Zhuocheng mentioned a friend confessed to you?"

Xiao Zhan bit the inside of his cheeks before answering, "Yeah."

Xuan Lu looked at him, giving him enough comfort, "I'm sorry, I wasn't supposed to know that. Zhuocheng heard from Seungyoun's friends."

Xiao Zhan forced a smile, "Seungyoun never shuts up."

Xuan Lu nodded, "I don't know him personally but I think so too."

The two stayed silent for a while, looking at other students on their bag, leaving the campus.

"You know, whatever you're feeling right now is valid. I was shocked when I heard about Yibo confessing to you. No, actually, I have been noticing him stealing meaningful glances at you whenever he could but silly me, shrugging it off. I never told you because I don't want to ruin your friendship." Xuan Lu explained and Xiao Zhan understands her.

If he were her, he wouldn't take an eye either. It is none of his business.

"I heard you avoided him?"

Xiao Zhan didn't respond and just lowered his head. Xuan Lu took it as a 'yes'.

"He's a serious one. He is serious with you and your... well, friendship." Xuan Lu smiled, "I can't imagine myself being friends with someone avoiding me for weeks. The commitment."

He heard Xuan Lu chuckle.

"I do adore him. You can rarely see a man being an actual man. He just wants you back, it doesn't matter to him whether you will give the feelings he has for you back or not."

Xiao Zhan didn't move but he does agree. He wouldn't be able to take it if he were the one who got rejected and was avoided by someone he had been liking for years.

"I do adore how you gave him a chance though." Xuan Lu added, "You're good. There's no need to feel guilty about it."

Xiao Zhan, "He never deserved to be thrown that way either. I still feel guilty about it."

Xuan Lu sighed and held Xiao Zhan's hands, "I'm sorry you felt that way.. I shouldn't have brought it up."

Xiao Zhan just nodded and Xuan Lu retreated her hand from Xiao Zhan. The two no longer spoke to each other and silently waited for the youngest to arrive.

Xiao Zhan raised his head and stole a glance of Xuan Lu, when he saw her only looking at Wang Zhuocheng's room, he immediately raised his head and looked at the group of students leaving the place.

While observing the people in front of them, he saw a familiar figure laughing. It was Wang Yibo. He is with his friends, Cho Seungyoun and Li Wenhan.

He wanted to call him but he didn't bother to, it would be awkward to just call someone hanging out with his other friends, right? Anyway, he is with Xuan Lu. He thinks it's enough.

He slightly flinched when Xuan Lu raised from her seat, he looked at her grabbing her bag.

Xuan Lu, "A-Cheng is here."

Xiao Zhan didn't hesitate and grabbed his bag as well. Just as he looked at where Xuan Lu was looking, he saw Wang Zhuocheng with a smile on his face walking towards them.

He nodded and smiled back at the younger. He was about to take a step forward when he heard a familiar voice call his name.

He looked back and saw Wang Yibo with his hands wrapped around Li Wenhan's shoulder, using his other hand, Wang Yibo waved at him.

Xiao Zhan felt his heartbeat raising, his stomach seemed to suddenly be in state of uncomfortable position, he simply nodded and smiled. He watched how Wang Yibo and his friends left and disappeared from the crowd.

Xiao Zhan sighed and looked back at Wang Zhuocheng, the younger one was now in front of them.

"Who was it?" Wang Zhuocheng asked and looked behind Xiao Zhan.

Before Xiao Zhan could open his mouth, Xuan Lu responded, "Yibo. Come, I'm hungry."

As they start walking, Wang Zhuocheng starts to bombard Xiao Zhan with questions, "Was it true? Wang Yibo confessed to you? I heard about it from his friends. I can't believe Wang Yibo is okay with them spreading the news! I didn't even know he was gay!"

Xiao Zhan smiled awkwardly, "Mn. It's true, he told me he liked me."

Wang Zhuocheng gasped, "So, he is gay!"

Xuan Lu, "He might be, might be not. We're not sure. He might be bisexual or pansexual or asexual or--"

Wang Zhuocheng, "You're straight, how come you know too much stuffs about the gays?"

Xuan Lu smiled sweetly, "Ally."

Xiao Zhan chuckled, "I think Yibo is bi."

He saw Xuan Lu look at him from his side, "Well, it doesn't matter. But... how about you, Zhan?"

Xiao Zhan almost tripped, fortunately, the two didn't notice his legs almost collapse from the unexpected question. His heart started to pump faster than usual, "Uh.."

It looks like Xuan Lu noticed his hesitation, she looked at him and smiled apologetically, "Anyway, where do you guys want to eat?"

Fortunately, Wang Zhuocheng no longer brought the unanswered question up and simply replied, "I'm full. A friend gave me two buns earlier."

Xuan Lu slapped his shoulders, "You should've told us earlier. We could've just left you here. My stomach has been growling since six."

Wang Zhuocheng, "It was mid lecture! How am I supposed to tell you! And how dare you leave me?! You're not my cousin! Who are you?!"

A cute bickering of the two started but Xiao Zhan stayed silent, Xuan Lu's question kept on repeating, what is he really?

Xiao Zhan yawned while finding his keys. He is tired and most likely to just slump his body onto his bed's mattress and fall asleep in just a second. He finally found the keys when he heard a familiar optimistic voice.

"Xiao Zhan-ge!"

He tried not to roll his eyes but he did. He then faced none other than his beloved neighbor, Cheng Xiao.

The girl seemed to just come home from school, wearing her uniform with her small cream-colored bag behind her back.

Xiao Zhan smiled, "Good evening."

Cheng Xiao bowed, "Good evening. I just found out Yibo also studies in the university we are both in. I met and talked to him earlier. I didn't even know he was quite famous. How obtuse I was."

Xiao Zhan chuckled awkwardly, not knowing what to say.

"Anyway, I have to go now. Good night."

Xiao Zhan just nodded and turned back to opening his apartment's door.

Just as what he expected, he hastily laid down on his bed right after changing clothes.

Still, even after slumping his back on the bed, a question continued to linger in his mind until he fell asleep ever since Wang Yibo confessed.

Is he gay or just a man with guilt in his heart?