Elle’s Dilemma: between love and loyalty

Chapter three

I stood silently by the apartment window, watching the view below. Cars moved endlessly through the streets of Los Angeles, and people walked along the sidewalk. Horns blared in the distance.

I was lost in my own thoughts, barely paying attention to them. It's been two weeks since Ashton's death. Everywhere in the apartment reminds me of him—the whispers of my name as he wakes up beside me in the morning, the countless times he's left me breathless on the kitchen counter with his kisses. I touch my lips as I recall his hot kisses. I remember how he often pulls me into a tight hug whenever I am in one of my moods. I miss how he leaves his dirty laundry strewn everywhere in the bedroom, the soft smell of his cologne, or how he leaves his music sheets at every corner of the apartment. I miss the version of me that existed when he was alive. Even if I still feel hurt and betrayed, I know I can never forgive him and his family for what they did to my family... but he's still the man I loved. It's humiliating, but it's still love.

I can feel Su's gaze fixed on my back, too scared to utter a word and too afraid to shatter what she believes is fragile within me. I have completely lost my appetite and spark. My thoughts drift back to what transpired between Ashton's parents and me in the hospital.

“His parents are here,” Su whispered, words I dreaded to hear. They never liked me. I worked so hard to earn their approval, but everything I did seemed to irritate them. No matter how hard I tried or how often I had to smile through their cold stares and the countless times I dressed up to meet their expectations, it was never enough. I was never enough. But now I understand—I was always the problem. And now that Ashton is gone, I am waiting to see what's in store for me.

“They know I'm here?” I asked, or rather stated.

“Yes. They do,” Su whispered.

A loud knocking interrupted as the door was suddenly opened, and Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Ashton’s parents, along with his brother William, entered. Their eyes met mine with contempt and disgust. Honestly, their stares no longer bother me because looking at their faces now makes me want to tear them apart. Mrs. Smith suddenly lunged at me, her eyes wide, nails out, shouting and accusing me of killing Ashton. Fortunately, she was held back by her husband and son, who looked at me coldly. Their expressions said everything—they wanted me gone, and honestly, I wanted them gone too.

I wish I were the one in that accident. I can't go on like this anymore.

“He's dead because of you. You swine. I hope you're happy now,” she spat, lunging at me again, barely grazing me, but she was held back by nurses who heard the commotion and entered. I stumbled backward, lifeless. Su rushed to me, and I pulled myself behind her. Angrily, she struck her across the face before anyone could notice. The room fell silent as everyone froze, one hand on her cheek, eyes wide in disbelief. Everyone was stunned into silence.

I blinked through tears, struggling to understand what had just happened. Su stood in front of me like a wall, unmoving.

“You don't touch her,” Su said, her voice trembling with rage. “You don't get to hurt her anymore.”

Mrs. Smith lowered her hands, stunned—her cheeks red from Su's visible handprint.

“How dare you—”

“No,” Su snapped. “How dare you,” her voice loud, shocking everyone, including the nurses.

“You come in here unashamed and screaming after everything you and your family did?” The room shifted. Mr. Smith stood, shocked, fists clenched, his face contorted with anger.

“How dare you speak to my wife that way,” he growled, taking threatening steps toward Su.

Su didn't flinch.

“Or what,” she challenged. “You’ll silence me too?” He clenched his fists. The atmosphere grew eerily still.

“Su...” I whispered weakly.

“You people not only destroyed her family but also used her. So you don't have any right to blame her for your mistakes.”

The words struck like thunder. Mr. Smith's eyes darted to me in anger, then I heard a voice that hadn't spoken since he entered—the one word he uttered sent shivers down my spine.

“Elle...” William called softly, his tone calm but quietly threatening.

I didn't want trouble, so I chose to hide away. Carefully, I pulled Su back.

“It's okay,” I whispered to her. Su has every reason to be mad, but I can't risk it. I didn't have solid evidence against them. Still pained, Mrs. Smith continued her assault, and I sat silently, staring at her. The nurses nearby could do nothing, so they left the room.

“You know, I told him countless times that you would destroy him.”

Tears burned my eyes. “I loved him.”

“Love... you say? Well, look what your love does.”

She shoved a finger into my chest. “First your parents bring ruin to everyone, then you finish the job.” The room fell silent, and I simply smiled.

“I know that he's dead because of you.” Everyone stood waiting for what I might say to defend myself, but I was too exhausted. I opened my mouth and whispered the words they weren't expecting.

“I'm sorry!”