Elle’s Dilemma: between love and loyalty

Chapter four

I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder, followed by a soft voice calling my name, gradually bringing me back to the present. I turned around and looked at Su, my face expressionless. There was no anger or tears—just emptiness. She froze and looked at me with worry written all over her face.

“Elle...” she whispered. I stared at her and sighed. Silence filled the room. “Are you okay?” she asked, teary-eyed and trembling. The question was too hard to answer. For the first time in weeks, I hugged her. She froze in surprise, then hugged me tightly.

“I'm fine,” I whispered against her shoulder. Su has been like a sister and a source of strength from the very beginning, and I’m so lucky to have her in my life. “I'm okay,” I said, trying to reassure her. The lie tasted bitter. She lifted her head from my shoulder and looked at me, unconvinced.

“No, you're not, Elle,” she said, her voice breaking. “It's been days, Elle, and you refuse to do everything the doctor told you to do.” I looked away as the room fell into an eerie silence. “You don't sleep or even eat. Please, at least eat something for the sake of the baby.”

My baby.

Instinctively, I touched my already protruding stomach and smiled as tears streamed down my face.

“I can't believe I forgot about my baby,” I whispered in disbelief. A broken, disbelief-filled smile spread across my face. The life Ashton and I created was growing inside me. A part of Ashton was still with me. Since we came back from the hospital, I've been drowning in pain, grief, and regret, totally forgetting my baby.

Su covered her mouth to hide her tears and hugged me tightly.

“I guess I was selfish,” I whispered, guilt filling my voice.

Su’s expression softened. “No. You’re not,” she said softly. “You just went numb. It's okay, Elle... you’re human too.” Her words shattered everything inside me. She came closer and hugged me tightly, my tears falling faster. We both collapsed on the couch as she held onto me.

I woke up and found myself in my bedroom. Everything felt strange. I stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, disoriented. The faint scent of coffee drifted through the house—strange, because Su can hardly boil water. I also knew she wouldn't have been able to lift me from the couch to my bed. I clearly remembered falling asleep in the living room, tears and snort on my face. So how did I get here?

Gently, I pushed the blanket aside and stood up. I exited the room and slowly made my way down the hallway to the living room. I heard laughter and whispers from the kitchen and headed there. I stepped in and stopped. There stood Nathan, Su’s boyfriend/manager, facing the stove and staring at what looked like porridge. At the counter sat Su, smiling at him while swinging her legs. For a moment, I just watched them quietly talk and laugh. They are always lost in their own world. Nathan is the only man I’m comfortable around besides Ashton—polite, kind, the perfect gentleman. They make a great pair. Finally, Nathan noticed my presence.

“Well,” he said warmly, smiling, setting the spoon down. “Finally, look who decided to grace us with her presence.”

Su turned sharply, and upon seeing me, she smiled gently.

“You're awake,” he said, gently taking my hand and leading me to a chair before I could protest. “Be careful,” he added. I just smiled.

“I'm pregnant, Nate, not fragile.” Su laughed and rolled her eyes.

“You know he's super protective.” I rolled my eyes back playfully.

“Yes, I know, Captain Obvious,” I said, and she playfully stuck out her tongue.

“Now, kids, time to eat,” Nathan joked as he returned from the kitchen with a plate of food and placed it in front of me. It had toast, scrambled eggs, and a side of washed fruits.

“You made breakfast?” I asked.

“Yeah, I did. Now eat,” he said gently, pushing the plate nearer.

“Yes, sir.” I laughed weakly, giving him a thumbs-up.

Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain and instinctively touched my stomach. The pain hit fast, stealing my breath. I cried out as another wave of pain shot through me. I held my stomach protectively.

“Elle!” I heard both Su and Nathan scream my name. A broken gasp escaped me. My knees buckled and they rushed to me, panicked. Their voices grew distant, and from my hooded eyes, I saw Su’s face suddenly change—her eyes and mouth wide open. A scream tore from her.

“No!” her voice shook now. I tried to talk but couldn't find my voice. I barely heard Nathan calling an ambulance. The pain worsened, twisting inside me like a knife, digging deeper. I saw Su with a frightened look whispering no.

“No. Please no.” Su kept whispering, staring at my thighs. Everything was turning dark.

“Elle, please stay with me,” I heard Su pleading desperately. Then I felt it—something warm rushing down my thighs. Looking down slowly, I panicked. My voice rang out with force.

“NO!”