It Was Only Ever Erin

Chapter 2 - Graduation

Jason’s P.O.V

One week on from my last class with Erin and it was the night before graduation. It was a pretty standard party with the guys. We were in a clearing at the top of the local hills, Los Angeles lit up in front of us, cars scattered everywhere and a large bonfire that everyone was gathered around. People drinking, smoking joints, making out, generally enjoying being teenagers before we had to go off, get jobs and become responsible adults.

Given the career path the guys and I were set to follow however, I doubt we were gonna be leaving this life behind any time soon. All the guys had been involved in Dad’s family business since we were 16, as it allowed us all to have the money we needed to have a good time, pay for our cars and hopefully allow us to move away from home as quickly as possible. None of us had amazing home lives. I’d been raised by nannies until the age of 14, when I became Dad’s colleague, Ollie’s parents should have got a divorce long before they got together, Jack’s parents were never around as they worked high powered jobs that took them abroad a lot, Dean’s parents just didn’t give a f**k and Mikey’s Dad was a raging alcoholic. What a wonderful, f****d up bunch we were.

As we sat together, we were all pretty blazed, Dean was passing round a bottle of god knows what and Ollie, Mikey and Jack all had girls draped over them. We felt it was only right to celebrate our last ‘it’s a school night’ night.

“Ollie, what about yours?” Jack asked.

“Best school memory? s*x under the bleachers with Ella Greene, sophomore year after… some big football game.” Everyone either laughed or wolf whistled, except the girl lying in Ollie’s lap who reached back and hit him on the side of the head.

“Mikey?”

“None, they all suck.”

“God you’re f*****g depressing,” Dean laughed. “Jase, what about you?”

“I would have to say, the day Mr Olsen got our final grades and after telling me all year that I was gonna fail, he found out I’d come top of the class.” Everyone laughed loudly. “Although what I’m gonna enjoy even more, is when the little c**k-sucker has to present me with my ‘Special Award for Achievement in Mathematics’ tomorrow in front of everyone!”

As everyone’s laughs died down Jack piped up, “Okay new category, biggest regrets?”

“All of it,” Mikey said instantly and everyone groaned, rolled their eyes or threw something at him.

“I’m gonna go with… not beating the s**t out of Chase Fitzgerald for being a little turd all throughout business this year,” said Jack to cheers from everyone – he was right, Chase Fitzgerald was a turd.

“There’s still one day left, plenty of time to flush him,” I reminded him.

“I would say… Chrissy Lawson, Angela Mc’Neil, Lizzy Alnick and Gemma Glass” everyone looked at Dean.

“Girls you didn’t f**k?”

“Nope, girls I did f**k and wish I hadn’t,” winced Dean to another chorus of laughs and jeers.

“Ollie?”

“Easy, never beating f*****g Trentwood.” Everyone booed in agreement. Ollie was one of the best basketball players in the school, but they’d never been able to beat the team from Trentwood High. Lanky fuckers. Everyone turned to me next.

“Never kissing Erin Blanchard.” As usual this resulted in groans from the guys. They had never understood the appeal of Erin. They conceded that she was okay “for a nerd” but that there were many hotter, bigger boobed fish in the sea, more worth my time and attention.

“You have a thing for Erin Blanchard?!” scoffed the girl in between Jack’s legs and Mikey’s girl joined in the laughter.

“Uh oh,” Deano chuckled to Ollie, spotting the look on my face and clearly looking forward to a bit of drama.

“Your point being?” I said in a low voice.

“Nothing, I just didn’t think nerd virgin would be your type” she giggled as I smiled dangerously.

“Not sure if you’ve heard sweetheart but guys prefer their p***y a little tighter, unlike that baggy windsock you’re dragging around with you.” The guys burst out laughing as the girl threw her empty beer can at me, flipped me off and stormed away with her friend in tow.

“Well, thank you Jason for making us all as sexless as Little Miss Blanchard tonight,” pouted Jack.

“Speak for yourself,” smirked Ollie, taking his girl’s hand and walking off in the direction of his truck.

“Why haven’t you?” asked Dean

“What?”

“f****d Erin, or even made a move.” I paused for a moment before answering. It’s not like I hadn’t thought about just going for it, in fact I had constantly thought about it.

“Because I have a feeling that if I went there, I wouldn’t be able to leave.”

That was the truth of it – Erin was my forever girl but deep down, I knew I couldn’t keep her.

***************

Erin’s P.O.V

I woke up on graduation day with mixed feelings. Yes, school was over, no more of the boring classes or the bitchy girls strutting around as if they owned the place. But on the whole, I’d always liked school. My friends were amazing, my classes and my teachers were generally pretty great and I’d always managed to see the amusing side to the school sluts – they just really couldn’t see how ridiculous they looked could they? Ah what the hell, I was gonna miss the place. I was way more nervous about what was to come!

I’d wanted to be a doctor for years. I wish I could say it was because of some noble reason, like a need in myself to give back to my community, but really it was from watching Grey’s Anatomy on repeat throughout my early teen years. I knew that in the days and years to come things were gonna become a million times more stressful than school ever was. There was gonna be no room for mistakes and even little screw ups could result in people getting hurt or losing their lives. s**t, I was terrified! The thought of leaving school was therefore laced with more than a little bit of trepidation. Goodbye frying pan, hello flames.

I got out of bed and looked myself over in the mirror. Nope, no grand realisation that I was now a grown woman about to my way into the real world, just same old me. My mess of hair tangled in a small bird’s nest on top of my head (I was a rolly sleeper) and my face still slightly mis-shapen from its contact with my pillow. I grabbed my hairbrush and started attacking the lion’s mane whilst scanning my wardrobe for the dress I had decided to wear for today. It was a dark teal green dress, more fitted than I would normally go for and with a semi-deep V-neck, but I loved the color too much. Mom also said it went well with my eyes and my hair so, not knowing much about these things, I chose to believe her. After I’d loosely curled my hair and added mascara to my eyelashes, so that they wouldn’t flop down in front of my eyes as usual, I started once more to resemble a human being and made my way downstairs.

Mom and Dad were in the kitchen eating their cereal and looking suitably dressed up for graduation day themselves. Of course, Mom burst into tears and clapped her hands over her mouth when she saw me – she cried at everything… everything. Dad, ignoring this familiar occurrence, turned to me.

“Hey sweetie, ready for the big day?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be. Mom, come on, really?” Mom started fanning her eyes frantically, coming over and crushing my limbs in a hug.

“eer…us…o…ouda…ooo,” she mumbled incoherently through her sobs. I looked to Dad for translation.

“We’re just so proud of you,” he mouthed.

“Oh,” I mouthed back, laughing and rubbing my mom on the back.

***************

As I made my way from my car to the school gates, I spotted my friend Emma running my way, looking gorgeous as always with her long blonde hair and wearing a floaty yellow dress.

“Oh my god! It’s graduation day!” she beamed, wrapping her arms tightly around my neck.

“Agh… windpipe… being crushed.”

“I can’t believe we’re never gonna see each other again!” she whimpered, finally releasing me with her bottom lip sticking out.

“What the hell are you talking about? We’re going to Spain together over the summer?”

“I know but it won’t be the same.”

“Ugh, come on you crazy lunatic.” I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and we made our way inside. The plan for the day was for everyone to meet in the gym hall for a graduation photo and then we’d all make our way outside for the ceremony. Our school wasn’t big and didn’t have much money, so it wasn’t what other schools would call a grand affair. For our school though, they had at least tried to pull out all the stops and make the day seem special.

As we walked down the hallways I said all of my mental goodbyes: ‘Goodbye chewing gum covered fountain, goodbye thoroughly unhygienic girl’s bathroom, goodbye locker that still shows the dent where I tripped and headbutted it’

When we reached the hall that led to the gym, I looked up and felt my heart and stomach perform the usual lurching spasm that heralded the presence of my, now former, Chemistry buddy. There ahead of me was the hulking beauty himself, Jason Cavanaugh. Ever since he joined at the start of the year it was clear to anyone who saw him that he was a gorgeous human being to look at. Around 6”2, dark loosely curly hair flopping over his dark eyes and a not-overly-muscular physique. Just all round, the stereotypically handsome bad-boy. As much as I don’t like to align myself with the boy-obsessed idiots in my school, it really would be foolish of me not to find him devilishly attractive.

I can’t even put myself off by telling myself that he had a crappy personality, because to me, he’d only ever been sweet, funny, interested and attentive. Oh well, I guess everyone during their time at school needed to have at least one unrealistic crush. I stopped trying to kid myself a while ago that I didn’t love seeing him in Chemistry lessons, pray for the teacher to pair us together for partner work and have palpitations whenever he smiled at me in the hallways. As I said, I never expected anything to happen between us, but I enjoyed the little moments.

As I spotted him leaning against his locker down the hall, looking all smart and sexy in his white button-down shirt and black suit trousers (I guess everyone’s making an effort today) his eyes suddenly caught mine. I gave him the usual smile and upward chin tilt, but he just stared. I could see him chewing the corner of his lip, looking like he was trying to decide something – and then apparently, he did.

***************

Jason’s P.O.V

Jesus, she looked beautiful… and I was never gonna see her again…

‘f**k it’ I thought to myself ‘you only live once right?’

I pushed myself off my locker and strode straight for her. Her smile faltered slightly and her eyebrows twitched together as she wondered what I was doing. Without thinking I took her face in my hands and crushed my lips to hers. She instantly stiffened in complete shock. After a few moments however, I felt her hands tentatively taking hold of the front of my shirt. I slid my hands from her cheeks into her hair and pulled her closer, kissing her deeper. This was nothing like I’d ever imagined, my heartbeat was going a million miles an hour and my head felt like I’d had about a dozen drinks. I was completely lost in the feeling of her, her flowery smell, how soft and warm she was, her gentle gasps whenever her mouth opened – god it was addictive.

As I broke the kiss I held her face close for a few moments, her big brown eyes opening and looking into mine. ‘If I don’t go now then I never will’ I thought. I gave her a wide smile, let my hands slide out of her hair and turned, making my way to the gym with the boys and leaving her stood there, completely perplexed as to what just happened.

I’d told the guys that my biggest regret was not kissing Erin Blanchard, well not anymore. Now my biggest regret was not kissing her sooner and knowing that I’ll never get to do it again.