A Single Mother

Chapter 3

It was a good thing that his mother bought him a new set of clothes. There were a lot of male clothes. And there were also a lot of female clothes. It wasn’t his fault. It was his parents that wanted to dress her up in men’s clothes. Kai didn’t care what he wore. He wanted to make a statement. It’s how people will perceive him. The clothes will be based on his emotions and personality. He already took a quick shower.

He was glad that he didn’t have any hairy legs and arms. He didn’t have hair on his armpits either. It was like his skin was smooth like a baby. Well, it’s more like it’s soft to touch. He put lotions on sensitive skin. He makes sure not to show too much skin. Because his skin was delicate. He decided to opt out for dark colors. Like probably black, purple, green and red. He didn’t mind people not approaching him. He likes to be a loner during the day. But during the night, that’s a different story.

He was excited as he picked out awesome black jean pants. It has a cool design on the side of the pants. There was a circle chain on the side of the pants. He had a black boxer on. Well, it’s more men’s underwear. He had a feeling he might have that red spot. What he knows is called a period in women’s terms. It’s where every woman has it. Before he put on the men’s boxer, he already had underwear that was padded.

It was the unscented pads. The ones where it’s not allergic to him. Then he put on the men’s boxer. He has to decide to opt for the boxer with an unscented tampon. Because it’s more comfortable that way and it wouldn’t be hard to move. Kai was satisfied with the chaos of the pants. He wore a black and white striped dress. It’s long up to his knee. The sock was comfortable since it’s made of cotton. He picked up the black boots with white ties on them.

He remembers that he had to make some merchandise. It’s an item for something important to him. He didn’t let anyone know what happened during his childhood. It was kept a secret. He didn’t want to worry about his mother and brother. He doesn’t want them to be nosy. Anyways, he chose to wear a metal rock t-shirt. It looks good on him. Since, he made it himself. It was natural for him to do it.

He decided to put on a black jean jacket. The ones that are easy to get into. He doesn’t want to ripen the clothes by mistake. Even though he is already skinny, as it is. Since he has been eating healthily for fifteen years of his life. It’s not a big deal. And he doesn’t want anyone to pity him. He brushes his natural black hair really well. He makes sure it’s not tangled. He didn’t want to overdo the makeup.

The t-shirt he wore had all the colors. You know black, gold, red, bean and purple. It had a great design. He was debating whether to wear a choker with a thorn. Or the ones that have a pentagon star on the choker. He randomly chooses after closing his eyes. When he opened it, he was happy with the choice. It was a choker with a skull and pentagon star. He wore pentagon star earrings that had a garnet gemstone hanging about on the earrings. It was already hooked on his ears. Then he decided to put some makeup on.

The makeup he chose was black and purple. The eyeshadow was a mixture of black and purple. He also put black eyeliner around his eyes. He made it perfect so he doesn’t look like a clown. His eyelashes were long. He didn’t need to wear fake eyelashes that most girls do. Lastly, he put on purple lipstick. He looked at himself in the mirror. It looks awesome.

He had to make it look like it was feminine to his mother. It’s the only way his mother let him out. The lipstick was waterproof. His makeup was waterproof. He brushed his teeth after eating nothing but apples and water. He left after saying goodbye to his mother and brother. They stayed quiet. No one knows he’s a girl. Because he’s wearing a bodysuit that made him appear like a man. He knows she has boobs. It was the only way to make both personalities happy. The one is the confident personality side of her. That’s why she named it Kai. The other one is a shy and quiet personality. That was her true self. Kai didn’t know why his mother gave him a female name of Katherine Torres. Nothing looks pure on him. Kai felt comfortable in his own skin. He knows that he has no life or purpose. Not after being told that his mother regretted giving birth to him. That’s the whole reason why he was raised as a boy all his life.

He had to learn everything by observing people. That’s how he knows how to use any technology. His mother wasn’t in his case. Because he always gets straight As or Bs in every class he takes. He sighs. At least he thought this time no one would bully him. He doesn’t want to remember anything of his childhood. Nothing good comes out of it. He tries to take any classes that interest him. He didn’t know what to major in. Because he’s not into education. He only went to college to make his mother happy. But, it’s not what he wanted.

He took mostly generation education classes. Like English, Math, Science, etc. He passed most classes. He just doesn’t take it seriously. He also took classes together with one of his childhood best friends. His childhood best friend is the complete opposite of him. Why did you ask? Isn’t it obvious? Some people don't realize what gender Kai is. He was still getting hit on by a lot of women. Some felt attracted towards him. Most of them were women. Others were hitting on him too. And those were men. They did feel attractive.

To others, he was too handsome. Others think he was too handsome for his own good. He was invited by many people. They wanted him to join a lot of clubs. It ranges from sports to art. Some clubs are music, history, etc. He didn’t have to try so hard. He remembered this one time. He was sitting in the cafeteria by himself. A beautiful girl approached him with a group of her friends. They introduced themselves. They asked him if he could join the bible study. And he was just being polite to them. He accepted joining the bible study in college.

He also joined other clubs too. His top priority was helping the director of the college and so forth. He was getting popular in his own way. But, no one knows he was actually a she. He remembers the conversation in one of his clubs. The one that does bible study.

“ Kai, you look like a girl. Your skin is smooth to the touch. What do you use to make your skin like that? “

The same beautiful girl who asked him to join us asked. She had light brown hair and brown eyes. Kai took a deep breath. He tries to make his voice as masculine as a guy's.

“ I didn’t do anything. I wore whatever men wore “

Kai tries to explain to her. The girl didn’t say anything. All she did was nod in agreement. The girl felt comfortable with him. This was the first time a guy wouldn’t be mad at her. Kai remembers he didn’t have to wear a bra. Since, her boobs weren't that big. It appears he had a flat chest. But, he wants to play it safe.

Time continues to move forward. He makes sure not to draw too much attention. He didn’t want to make his mother and brother mad. It took him many years to finish his general education. Then he decided to take a break. Then he continued to go back to college in 2011. Because he wants to take many dance classes, which he did. He had a lot of fun out of it.

After taking many dance classes every semester, he took a break from college this time around. Since he doesn’t know what he wants to major in, even though his mother and brother are helping him pay college tuition.

October 2016

Kai found a job that he wanted to work. He wants to work as a retail sales associate. He loves fashion. But the dress code was blue and black. He’s not sure if he wants to wear feminine clothing. He could, but it depends on him.

He’s up for going to another city. He has the money for it. The problem was his mother and brother. They never give him any space to breathe. And if he doesn’t answer, his mother will call the police for a missing person. When he’s not even missing.

It took Kai four days to be notified that he had the job. He got his first job on October 16, 2016. He got all the training and everything memorized. Everything went well. ‘ His ‘ mother bought clothes for him. It’s obvious. The dress code was blue-colored clothing and black pants. The shoes have to be black. He would always wear his name tag on the right corner of his chest.

He started liking his job. It was my first job ever. He didn’t have to put makeup on. Since, he was trying to hide his true identity. Because if he didn’t, he would get an earful. He likes his natural beauty. He didn’t need makeup to hide it. He remembers the bodysuit that his mother gave him. This happens during high school days. It was a body suit that made him appear to look like a man. So people wouldn’t know what gender he really is. It would make his mother happy. Since his mother will be happy. That he’s playing the role like a son that his mother wanted.

His sight. He approached the mirror one more time. He put on a body suit. It was like a bandage kind of. But, not really. It hugs in all of his curves. He wore that along with the blue-colored clothing. It could be short sleeves. However, for him, he didn’t want to make his skin ugly. So, he decided to wear a long sleeve blue top. He also added black pants that had pockets. That way he could have his cellphone in his pocket at work. He wore his black socks. The ones that made his feet comfortable to breathe and walk. Then, he put on his black shoes.

He does this all the time. So it's nothing new. He did this for a couple of three and half years. Nothing new. No one actually hit on him. And even his own family doesn’t know the other secrets he has been holding up. But, there are some days when his mother actually wanted him to wear women's clothing. And that would be when he had to go to church with them. They have been going to church since she was a child. They didn’t want to lie in front of their god.

He sighs. He can’t believe he still looks good. He was satisfied with his appearance. He had to tie his hair up. And made a bun out of it. His mother bought him a short wig for him to wear. He always has to wear short-cropped black hair. His mother also made him wear colored contacts. Because his mother tried to hide his identity as much as possible. For his mother, he could tell his mother knew about his beauty. His mother and brother knew the true gender of Kai himself. But, they didn’t want to admit it.

Kai doesn’t care as much. He doesn’t care if he dresses up as a man or a woman. The only thing that mattered to him was that he was able to go out by himself. He didn’t want to cope in the house. He just doesn’t feel safe around his mother and brother. Because that’s how he felt up till now. He already had an independent mindset. He had to give up everything he knew and loved.

He was already ready. It didn’t take long. He says goodbye to his mother and brother. They waved back. He goes to work and goes back home. It’s a repeated routine. On some days when he didn’t have work, he would hang out with the only friend he could turn to. It was his childhood best friend. Her name was Maria Anne Li. Maria and he clicked very instantly. Maria knew that he wasn’t really a guy. That’s why she felt comfortable around him. She keeps quiet until he tells her what’s up. That’s how they became fast friends.

Kai couldn’t lie about things that happened. But, he wouldn’t let that happen. He took a deep breath. He has to stop thinking about it. It was all in the past. He knew he had his heart broken. He tries dating men more than women. It was to explore his sexuality. He knew that it was in both men and women. But, where he came from; being sexuality; was frowned upon. So, he has to keep a man. In front of the audience; they give Kai a lot of weird looks. Like if Kai looks at men; they think he is gay.

He has to force himself from looking at men too long. Because, if he hadn't, he would have heard a lot of whispers back and forth. It’s weird that he could hear what other people are thinking before they say it. He shakes his head. Months passed. Days passed. Sometimes, dazed when he was at work. He would dazed off. Not because he was tired. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that something would happen. He sighs. He keeps feeling pain in his head. However, he shouldn’t feel that.

On days when he does work, he would feel that something bad would happen. And it actually happened exactly how it happened. There wasn’t anything serious. Just people being people. You know the likes of stealing. And pretending to use the bathroom. But at the end of the day, they found a lot of sensors. So it was hard to tell who is who. Or who is stealing what? They can’t assume anything without proof.

He likes his job. But that changed. When a sudden strike of a deadly virus came. It made everyone go crazy. Well, not crazy. But, it made people who have it sick and die from it. It was pretty pathetic. To see the government trying to divide the world. There were so many riots here and there. There were people creating ‘ Black Life Matters ‘ while back in the years. The government should focus on using the money for the people, not for themselves.

Everything changes so fast instantly…

March 15 2020

A deadly plague covered the whole country. Some countries aren’t affected by it. The countries affected were China, the Philippines and America. That’s the only known state. The deadly plague was an attack from an unknown source. The governments around the world called it Covid 19. It swept the whole city. Some people were affected by it. Some couldn’t even survive it.

No matter how healthy you are, you will still get covid. Even worse, you will die from it. In the city of Colma, California 94014 lies the families of The Torres Families. They moved from city to cities over the years. Mrs. Torres had her own family-style home. It had two bedrooms upstairs and two other rooms downstairs.

The difference is that the two rooms do not have a window. So, Kai’s brother set that room as a playroom. A playroom is where all the fun stuff is put there. Like all his playing consoles. Such as Playstation 1 to 5. There’s also Xbox 360 and Xbox. There was also a Nintendo Wii and Nintendo switch.

Kai can finally breathe. He can finally be who he really was. Because he survived it all. Even though he had to hide his identity and gender. It was the only way to make his mother happy. However, he still dresses up as a man whenever he goes out. He prefers to be his normal self when he’s at home. He lived here in Colma. It’s the city of the dead is what he calls it. Why did you ask? Well, there are a lot of cemeteries. So there wasn’t a lot of trouble. Again? Why asked? Well, because the city of Colma is ruled by the Democratic party from the government.

Kai has lived there for most of his life. It’s nothing new. He didn’t have a job. Since he was laid off due to covid 19. But, he still gets paid by the government. That’s the other thing. The government knows his true gender as well. They couldn’t lie about it. Or they will get in trouble. But, all this time, his family, especially his mother. His mother made everyone believe he had some kind of disability and that he was mentally sick. For example, everyone believes that Kai has mental disabilities and physical disabilities. Not the kind that you are thinking about.

As far as he remembers, back in his high school days, he found out that he had learning disabilities. You heard it correctly. He found it out when he was seventeen-years-old. And now, as an adult, he has been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. He believes he has had this since he was a child. He knew it all along. The only difference is that when he goes out he doesn’t have to wear a wig or colored contacts. He didn’t want to hide his beautiful hair. It was very beautiful. He likes his natural black hair and brown eyes.

He was born normally. Even though he came out of his mother’s womb through a C-section. He continues his education online though. He went to Skyline College community college. He started going to college when he was at the age of eighteen. He was trying to figure out what he wanted to major in. But, he couldn’t figure it out. He did waste his time going to college. He would’ve had a job. However, his mother wouldn’t allow him either. So, he was living with his mother the whole time.

His mother wouldn’t allow him to do anything honestly. His mother was so controlling. He was already tired of everything. Even his mother never allowed him. It made him suffocate. He lived in Colm for two years. And everything went quickly. He had enough.