Not Yours
1083 Words
The cafeteria smelled like overcooked meat, spilled soda, and too many secrets.
I slid onto the bench beside Boris, my tray untouched. Across from us, Tally and Benji were already deep into a whispered debate about who hooked up with who under the full moon. Half the school was pretending they hadn’t danced naked under starlight. The other half was still glowing from it.
“Isn’t that the guy you were talking to before the hunt?” Boris asked suddenly.
I blinked. “What?”
He nodded toward a table across the room, casual—but not really. His tone was light, but I could feel the tension beneath it, the way his hand drummed once against the table before stilling.
I followed his gaze.
Koda.
Surrounded by the untouchables—Dorian, Brody, Briar, CeCe. The ones who ruled the school like they had silver in their blood and crowns made of legacy. Koda sat right in the middle of them like he’d been born there. Leaning back, legs sprawled, hoodie sleeves shoved to his elbows, revealing inked skin and lazy confidence.
Girls were already draped over his side like he was a throne. CeCe tilted her head when she spoke to him. Briar touched his arm every other second. Brody offered him his drink.
And he let them.
Even as his gaze drifted. Past his table.
To mine.
To me.
I looked away too slow.
“Oh, him,” Tally said, tearing open her applesauce. “That’s Koda. Transfer from one of the allied desert packs. They’re trying to integrate—his family’s part of that whole initiative. We’re supposed to be nice. Eventually, more of them are coming. Students. Families. The works.”
“So he’s just visiting?” Benji asked.
“Nope,” Tally said with a wicked grin. “He’s staying. Full-time.”
Great.
I stabbed a carrot with my fork. But I wasn’t chewing. I wasn’t even thinking straight.
Because he was still watching me.
Like he had every right to.
Like he hadn’t already seen everything—my bare skin under the moonlight, the way Boris had taken me like I was his. The way I’d let him.
And now Koda sat there, amused and beautiful, letting other girls whisper in his ear while his eyes stayed locked on me.
Something inside me cracked.
Before I could stop myself, I turned to Boris and kissed him.
Open-mouthed. Hungry. Hands gripping the front of his shirt like I needed to feel his heartbeat to steady my own. His surprise melted quickly into something rougher—he kissed me back, pulling me closer like he wanted to finish what we started last night.
Around us, the cafeteria went quiet for a beat. Tally made a sound that was either a laugh or a warning.
But I didn’t care.
Not until I pulled back—and realized what I’d done.
I wasn’t one for PDA. I didn’t kiss boys in front of half the pack like I was trying to prove something.
But I had.
Because Koda was watching.
Because part of me wanted to punish him for something I didn’t understand.
Because I was trying to remind myself of who I belonged to.
Except…
I didn’t belong to anyone.
Not really.
I bit the inside of my cheek, heart still racing. What the hell was I doing?
Across the room, Koda was no longer smiling.
⸻
The second the bell rang, I was on my feet.
“I need air,” I muttered, barely glancing at Boris as I grabbed my bag. He looked confused, maybe a little bruised by the sudden shift, but he didn’t press. I was grateful for that.
Tally caught up with me halfway down the breezeway that led toward the back quad, where the benches were usually empty and the trees gave just enough cover to pretend the world didn’t exist.
“You okay?” she asked, tucking her curls behind her ears as we settled onto a bench in the shade.
“No.”
She didn’t say anything right away. Just popped the last of her gum and waited like she always did—patient, knowing, nosy in the way only your best friend is allowed to be.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I finally said, dragging my fingers through my hair.
“You kissed Boris like you were trying to suck his soul out. I figured something had to be off.”
I groaned and dropped my face into my hands. “I didn’t mean to do that. It was like… I don’t know. He was looking at me.”
“Koda?”
I nodded without looking up.
Tally whistled low. “Okay, yeah. He was definitely looking. Like he wanted to climb over the table and devour you in front of everyone. Benji thought he was gonna challenge Boris right then and there.”
“I feel crazy,” I said, voice muffled against my palms.
“You’re not. You’re just… caught up.”
I sat back against the bench, staring at the line of heat shimmering off the pavement. “He watched me during the hunt. Like really watched. And I knew it. I felt it. And I still let Boris…” I trailed off, ashamed, confused, irritated with everything including myself.
Tally’s expression softened. “He saw you. All of you. And now he’s here. At our school. Sitting with the worst people imaginable.”
“And I kissed Boris like I was trying to win something.”
“You were,” she said simply. “You just don’t know what it is yet.”
That sat heavy between us.
I pressed my fingertips to my temple, trying to force the war inside me to make sense. “I don’t even know this guy. But when he looks at me, it’s like—like he already knows me. Knows things I don’t know about myself. It’s infuriating. And kind of terrifying. And…god, he’s such a jerk about it.”
“But a hot jerk,” Tally offered.
“The hottest,” I admitted under my breath.
We both laughed, the sound thin and tired.
“I’m not supposed to want anyone else,” I said, the truth curling bitter in my chest. “Boris… he’s good to me. He’s safe.”
Tally nodded slowly. “Yeah. But maybe that’s the problem.”
I didn’t say anything.
Because deep down, I already knew she was right.
- Writer
