The Wolf's Song

Promises Exchanged

Diana

I wake up again before morning has reached Bamberg, but by now I am no longer surprised that Michael is not in bed, no matter how early it is, so I get up too.

I stretch lazily and get dressed in some things I’ve brought as I descend the steps amidst the silence. Only now do I understand that his disappearances in the middle of the night are due to his restless nature, which prevents him from staying inactive for long; the wolf inside him calls to the forest, or at least that’s what I imagine, because as I go through the rooms one by one I can easily see that he is not at home, but it’s not a prospect that scares me at this point in my life.

Silently, I walk to the kitchen and put the water on to heat up to make myself a cup of tea, while reconstructing our conversation from the night before in my memory. Michael’s words, as well as his song, are still etched deep inside my skin, somehow reminding me that his promises don’t lack value or meaning; and yet, I keep thinking about it. What will become of us, of all of us, when this is all over? Damien won’t stop, I know that now, and it may be us who are at the crossroads of stopping him.

It’s more intertwined lives than it seems because what may happen in this forest doesn’t just involve Michael, his pack, or Damien’s pack. It involves me, Martha, and my mother, my father, wherever he is, and even my friends, Maya, Sandra, and Christopher. Everyone who has been mixed up in one way or another with this story has a hand in its final outcome--all tied, in one way or another to Michael and me, and the decisions we make.

In the midst of my thoughts, the teawarms up and I take a sip before looking out into the cold night, which is slowly saying goodbye to the dawn that has not yet arrived. My love is out there, and with it, all the decisions, all the hopes, and also, all the fears I may harbor about the present and the future.

Without noticing it, my steps lead me into the forest. I put the tea aside and pick up the violin before heading for the exit that leads to the forest. I sit on the last of the steps and look at the vastness, the green-colored trees, and the waters of the river, so stormy, and of the same bluish hue as its eyes.

Little by little, just for me, my hands become accustomed to the violin, as I begin to play a strange melody. There is a unique and inexplicable relationship between a musician and his instrument; the close encounter of music is formed only by the meeting of two lovers, whose separation always seems to be too much.

My mother told me that once, when I began to internalize that it was music that I wanted for the rest of my life. She told me that there was nothing else as important in my life as this, and I believed her, for I could feel the passion that turned her melodies into true works of art. The love she felt for me, and even for my father, could not be matched at times by the longing she possessed for music.

That feeling has always been with me, because it is only in playing slowly, softly, as I do now, that I find myself. Or at least, it has been that way until the second I met Michael. His skin against mine, his gaze and his protective instinct have shown me that there is a part of me that I was unaware of until now.

With that in mind I play. I play for him, letting the melody reach him in the middle of the forest. If there is magic in my notes, and now I don’t doubt it, I know they will find him in the middle of his path. The tenderness he transmits to me, the love, the deep need to know he is safe. His looks, beyond everything, and the protection he gives me with each of his kisses--I let everything I feel for him manifest itself in this melody. Searching in the distance for the wolf I know he hears me, and I silently ask, with the presence of the forest through us, for my voice to echo in the distance and bring him back to me. To home.

In less time than I thought, Michael arrives. His human form manifests through the distance, clad only in sweatpants, and as he crosses the river in two swift leaps that surpass the imagination. Seeing him makes me laugh, thinking about the fact that he must have clothes hidden all over the forest for such occasions.

I smile, letting him sit beside me as I finish the melody. The last notes float between the two of us as the first rays of sunlight streak in the distance, tinting the forest with its clear, warm hues.

“I thought I heard you, but it wasn’t clear to me,” he says in a soft voice, while looking at the horizon. “It felt more like a vibration running through my body and lodged in my chest than a melody. It is a strange magic you possess.”

“What did you feel when you felt the vibration of the melody?” I ask curiously, and he smiles at once.

“Love,” he affirms. “Robert and Francis felt it too. It was very strange. They didn’t feel love for you in the same way I do, but the melody evoked the same feeling in them, but intended for different people.”

“I didn’t know I could do it,” I say. “I simply wanted to bring you home, to let you know how I feel about you.”

“I think I understand.” He looks up at me smiling, as his fingers reach up and caress my cheek. “I feel the same way about you.”

I smile at him, and his lips reach for me in a soft whisper. He kisses me gently and I sigh against his lips.

“Michael,” I ask against his mouth, and let my forehead rest against his, “will you move with me to New York? “

My question catches him off guard. He looks at me, not understanding in which direction I’m heading, and I try to make my words more coherent.

“When this is all over, I mean. I have a life in New York. My mother is there, and I doubt she wants to go back to Bamberg. And then there’s my career, and my friends. I can’t leave it all behind... At least, not for a while. Maybe in the future...”

I start thinking about how this would work. Our worlds are too different and separated by too many barriers.

He, all in all, doesn’t take long to say, “Yes. I will.”

I look at him in surprise, and Michael breaks away from me a little, while saying, “It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a long time. I’ve given it a lot of thought. I can’t ask you to give up everything for me, but I can’t leave you either. Thinking about leaving Bamberg right now is impossible, because too much depends on me; but when things calm down, I could balance my life between one continent and the other. I’m not clear how, but I know we could do it.”

The possibility thrills me. The thought of Michael with me in New York; introducing him to my friends, seeing Sandra’s face when she meets him. My mother will love him, I’m sure, and we could both start a life together...

“At some point... Maybe in the future, we may have to consider changing you, but it’s a possibility I’d rather postpone, at least for now.” He grimaces, a sort of smile, and says, “There are too many shapeshifters around here at the moment, but I would like to give you as normal a life as possible, at least until we are clear about what we want to do in the future.”

“I am sure about what I want,” I affirm, “I want you.”

“And I love you. Of that I have no doubt.” He kisses me again, and after a moment he pulls away and looks at me, before saying, “That’s why I want to keep you safe, Diana... You may have something to do with this, and your help may be useful to us... But if I ask you--it’s for your own good--I want you to stay away from Bamberg while everything is resolved. It will only be for a short time, I promise, but I will feel more at ease if I know that you are safe.”

I look at him and nod. I understand what he wants to tell me: He will make a sacrifice for me; he will split his world in two in exchange for us to be together and for me to regain my life normal life. In return, all he asks of me is to leave him if the time comes and the risk is too much.

“It’s ok,” I say. “If it’s something you can’t control and you feel I’ll be better off in New York, I’ll leave,” I affirm, and he sighs in relief.

“That’s all I’m asking.”

His arms reach for me, and he pulls me tight against him. I return his embrace and close my eyes, breathing in his scent. A part of me knows, however, that this is a difficult promise to keep, for if Michael’s life is at risk, I couldn’t care less whether I keep my promise or not.

I know that if that is the case, I will stay, just to make sure I keep his life safe.