Troubled

FIFTY ONE

CORA PHILIPS

There were drops of blood on my fingers, dried crusted blood. I picked at it while I waited for the bus. The store I had seen earlier had a kind pre teen boy occupying it.

"If you are running away from home like my brother does, make sure to let everyone know you're fine once a while. At least you can do that much for people who miss you." His face had turned gloom. I couldn't form words so I just nod instead.

The bottle of water and a bag of chips I got just so I would make him feel better lay at my side. My main aim of walking into the store was to find bus routes. Or main roads so I could find cabs. The little boy said the bus comes here in thirty minutes, he probably hoped I would stay with him for the thirty minutes, but I would much rather be on my own, I didn't want two people's blood on my hand in one day.

Although he reminded me of someone I was missing so much, Cory. Thankful for the spare changes that lay at the bottom of my bag, I was going to see Cory. Which was probably the dumbest thing ever but who says I have been doing smart things?

The blood was now almost invisible to the eye. Except mine. I know what was there before, I know I caused someone harm, I know I left Kyle there, I don't know what has happened right now, but I ran away. I can't say for sure if I ran to save my own skin, or I ran away to save them from myself. I was a disaster, a demon, monster, something that should have never be brought into the world. An abomination.

I could hear mom's voice telling me to quit trying to fit in, playing human was just not for me, and if I wanted people safe and out of harm's way. The best thing I could do for myself was to disappear, permanently.

The bus drove in, it was a long old bus, it used to be white and green at the bottom, but what used to be green was now rust. I got up, leaving the chips and water behind, when I'm about to enter the bus, I see the small boy waving at me, then pointing to the chips and water I left. He thinks I was forgetting them. Children were so innocent.

Like I would do for Cory, I go back for the water and chips, I don't look back at him when I slip into the cold bus. The bus was better looking on the inside, like someone took good care of it. It was also empty, save for a man in his late thirties that was smoking, and a junior school girl, and then me.

I sank into the seat at the back of the bus, putting my hoodie over my head so much that my face was partially covered as well.

My mind starts to replay everything that happened with Margaret. In slow motion. This time I was able to see everything happen in the slowest speed possible, the scissors was in her hand, she wasn't going to stab me, it was obvious from how she held it. I felt like throwing up when I see her skin tear open, and red blood formed at the corners of the open wound, then as clouds with too much water, it poured down, running down her cheeks like tears. Her mouth opened but no sound came out, her eyes were wide with shock and terror. The pain hadn't registered yet, and when it did, she screamed.

I unscrewed the cap of the bottle water and brought it to my lips, willing my mind to stop torturing me. And something else started to play in my mind's eye. Something I hadn't seen before, and even more surprisingly, something I wasn't even involved in.

The man I saw earlier smoking, he was supposed to be sitting at the front, that's where I saw him when I entered, but he was at the back of his seat, where the junior school girl sat. He was whispering something to her, while his hands worked it's way into her pants. She was biting her lip to stifle a scream and that's where it ended.

My neck snapped to their direction. They were both still sitting in their seats. The girl's head was pressed against the cracking window. While the man continued smoking. Both of them had no interaction whatsoever.

What the hell was that?? I had never seen something like that before, was it my imagination? Ew, ew, why would I imagine such gross, disgusting thing? Ew. No never.

Then, what exactly was that? I bite my lip in hope that wasn't my imagination, because if it was, I needed to sleep in church and drink holy water to cleanse my mind. But if was real then.. why wasn't it happening? Why did I see it?

Like a rat, the smoking man slipped to the back seat. My eyes bulged. It was happening. I stand up before I could stop myself, I won't let what I just saw turn into reality.

"Hey, aren't you a little too old to be fondling little girls?" I call out.

He turned to look at me, while the girl stared at me with fear mixed with relief.

"Come here, sit with me." I tell her.

When she scrambles to stand the man pushes her back.

"How dare you?"

I wasn't thinking when I came here before, I just knew I couldn't leave her at the mercy of such a dirty scum. It was starting to look like a bad idea now, I didn't have any thing to protect myself and the girl, smoking guy could kill us faster than it would take the bus to reach its destination.

"You can't do that to kids, didn't your mommy teach you that?"

His face twisted in rage and he stood up, my brain started to scramble, looking for a solution to my problem. Namely, smoking man.

"You want some too? Is that it? You want me to show you a good time too?"

Every muscle in my body tightened.

"I can just tell the driver what you're doing right now.."

He cuts me off with a laugh.

"And then he'll do what? Tell me to sit in the corner?"

I look at the driver's direction, he didn't even flinch, he continued to drive. I guess he saw this every day and he was tired of speaking up. Or he was as shitty as the smoking guy.

I see a bus stop not too far from us, we were approaching it, even if it wasn't my stop, I could take the girl and run.

"Why? Do you think you're above sitting in a corner? You?" I taunt him.

Come on. Come on. I chant as we near the bus stop. I didn't want to trigger one of the disasters and kill him or something.

He took a step close to me, invading my personal space. I could smell dirt, sweat, and smoke on him. His teeth were brown as he stared at me with a crazed look in his eyes.

"You really do want me to show you a good time, don't you?"

I don't think when I take the cigarette he was smoking from between his fingers, I pose like I'm about to take a drag and when he smiles at me in approval. I put the lit end on his eye lid and press into it.

He screamed. I drag the girl towards me and leap out when we get to the bus stop.