Troubled

SIXTY THREE

CORA PHILIPS

I don't concentrate too much on the recital. Infact I tunr it out totally, staring at the TV screen once a while. Then checking my phone for any text messages from Kyle. I did send him a text message earlier that he was to call or text immediately something went wrong. I doubt anything could have gone wrong, nop, I strongly believe nothing was wrong.

"You have to hear this part, I have been anticipating it for a while." Xander was hopping up and down on his spot on the couch like an excited toddler. He even pointed at the TV with his Cheetos stained fingers.

"I'm listening." I chuckle, this time I try to actually listen. Because I know he would have done the same for me.

"Wait.. someone is missing." He narrowed his eyes between Cory and I.

I shift in my seat, if this was the time he was noticing Kyle's absence, he must have really been engrossed in it.

"Oh yeah, Kyle went out. He got an emergency call."

He blinked.

"It was your dad I was talking about, but when did Kyle leave?"

Few hours ago. I lie instead,

"Few minutes ago, he said he'll watch the rest on YouTube."

He shrugged, seemingly satisfied with the answer.

"Ok, now shush, we don't want to miss anything else." With that, he cradled Cory closer to himself as both of them watched Xander's role model play.

I turn towards the master bedroom door, it was shut tight but I could almost hear them argue. And it was all because of me. Dad was mad about the gashes on my arm though he never directly asked me about them, maybe because of guilt? Pity? Or something else, I'm not entirely sure. Mom was mad about the fact that all of us returned without her permission. I was tempted to go upstairs.

My parents never really argued. When I was fine and mom was nice to me, I remember vividly that we were the family everyone looked at with envy, our family was picture perfect. You know the kind they use for adverts? Exactly that kind. This was one of the rare big arguments. Dad avoided confrontation of any means. He never confronted mom, when he did, it was bad.

My phone dinged with notification, bringing my attention away from my parents arguing behind closed doors.

It was a text from Kyle. I opened it eagerly like I found myself doing whenever I got a text from him or Xander.

'its going great, he went to the bathroom. Thank you for making me see him. I owe you.'

I beamed at my phone. My little good had patched a hole in their relationship. It was fabulous. I felt good. Really good.

"Cora? A word please?" I hear Dad call from upstairs.

I turn to Xander, but him and Cory were so engrossed in the recital they wouldn't know if I left. So I did.

My parents never let me in on their spats, they left me out of it usually. I also had no reason to have any form of talk with both parents, so having a talk now felt surreal.

I walked up the stairs slowly, like it would speed up time somehow. Alas I was in front of the room. Two deep breaths will never calm me down enough to face them but I take it anyway.

One knock on their door and it was pulled open. Mom was by the window with her hands crossed over her chest, her face looked really mad. Dad was at the door.

"Come in."

I walked in slowly like I was a soldier walking into enemy territory. I worried I would step on a land mine and everything would blow up.

"You really had to bring her didn't you?" My mother spat out.

"Yes, because believe it or not she's as much as your daughter as she is mine. And you can't go around bringing people to whip her whenever you feel like. She's human, with feelings. She can get hurt. Don't you ever consider that?"

My heart swelled and broke at the same time, what father protected their daughter from their mother in the way he always did? I wouldn't even need protection if not for the stupid disasters.

Mom scoffed.

"I made her human, she was a monster before she got the last treatment. That turned her human, that gave her the feelings you're talking about. I hurt her, to make her."

My breathing became erratic. The room spun under my feet. I had to lean against the wall for support. I know mom thought of me as a monster, she had repeated it so much it was practically drilled into my mind. Unfortunately, it never hurt less. It couldn't even hurt less.

"Maria!" Dad snapped. His voice was thunderous.

I don't say anything, I only turn away from the woman who was supposed to protect me. And I run. I run out of the room. And into mine, locking the door as soon as I was in.

Taking deep breaths, I try to calm myself. Using breathing techniques I learnt from years of therapy. You'd think one good thing came out of them. Unfortunately not. I was still unable to control my breathing and I was stuck with the disasters.

I formed a fist with my right hand, raising it up to eye level I see that my hands are still the fragile hands of a teenage girl, instead of the claws. I hit my chest, one more time, two more. Very soon I was hitting myself rapidly. The tears never came.

Who was I kidding?

I was a monster through and through.

I deserved every thing mom threw my way. Everything.

Suddenly I felt it. The sides of my head felt like something was clamping on it. Mental. It hurt. It hurt so bad.

When I fall to my knees I find myself begging for Kyle to save me.