Phoenix

Chapter 7

Isabelle

I wake up draped around Matt. We are on our honeymoon and staying in his father's cabin, located at the northern border of his land. It's a beautiful wooden cabin surrounded by forest on one side and a lake in the front with mountains at the back and side.

Matt has been the ideal husband and mate. But things are not the same for me, anymore. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I keep looking for clues. But so far, I have found nothing.

I know it won't be easy to prove that Matt will kill me just four months after our wedding, and it's certainly impossible to tell someone about it. The loneliness and the constant anxiety are getting to me, and then there is this added pressure of the pull I feel towards Matt. He is my mate after all.

I never imagined living a double life. But apparently I am and so is my mate.

Matt is sleeping peacefully. I look at him, no longer marvelling at how handsome he is, but looking for signs. Something to give me a clue as to what is he really thinking about me. I wonder when did this plotting to betray me started? Was it as soon as we got married or before that? Was it something I did?

No, I scold myself firmly. I won't do this anymore. I won't blame myself now, I didn't do anything to deserve the beatings and eventually dying at his hand.

I am still lost in thought when Matt opens his eyes. He smiles at me.

"What is my princess thinking about?" His voice is still groggy from sleep but there is something in it that sends warmth all the way down my body.

I remember he used to call me princess before. A habit he dropped soon after we got back from our honeymoon.

I avert my eyes. I can't keep getting distracted by this attraction I feel towards him, but it's so damn hard with him this close.

I am about to get up, when he pulls me close and kisses me. His lips soft and warm on my lips. I'm raking my brain for an excuse to get away but the kiss which was soft at first is getting hungry now, he slips one hand beneath my shirt, tracing small circles on my stomach and I feel electric shocks everywhere.

He lightly bites my lips and I cant help but moan. He growls and kisses me again, and I reach my limit to resist. I give in and open my mouth, letting him in. We kiss like it's the only way we can survive, biting, caressing and tasting each other.

His hand is now slowly moving downwards. I growl and arch my back, wanting to feel him but he laughs and stops, teasing me now.

I am about to do the same to him when his phone pings with an incoming message. His whole body goes rigid.

A memory comes back rushing to me. The memory of his first abuse. He starts to kiss me again, but I can tell he is not into it, anymore.

The phone pings again and starts ringing, but stops after one or two rings.

Whoever it is, wants him to see the messages urgently.

" Maybe you should get it," I murmur against his lips and he jumps out of bed, grabs his phone and starts typing.

I turn towards him and silently watch his expressions. He keeps his face neutral but there is a gleam in his eyes that tells me, he likes what he's reading in these messages.

" Who is it?" I know his answer, but I ask anyway trying to keep my voice light.

" Just something important, it will only take a minute princess." He replies busily, completely side stepping around my question.

I smile bitterly.

Just what I thought.

But maybe this is my first clue. I wonder who is it? Maybe it's that woman.

Now I just have to take a peak at what they are talking about.

He eventually stops typing and looks at me with a smile.

" Sorry about that, my love. Now where were we..." He asks with a naughty glint in his eyes.

My heart skips a beat. I scramble to find an excuse to get his mind elsewhere.

" You were about to take me to the mountain hike you promised."

He has already jumped back in bed with me.

" Oh that...." He groans and rolls his eyes, but then the naughty gleam returns. " Don't you need to warm up for that."

" No," I push him back. " You need to cool off, go take a shower and then we are going." I push him towards the direction of the bathroom.

" Why don't we cool off together?" He is waggling his eyebrows at me ,suggestively.

God, this is going to be difficult.

"Not gonna happen until I get my promised mountain hike." I manage to say as jokingly as possible.

Anything to get him away from his phone.

He pouts but complies, stripping off his clothes in front of me slowly, while looking at me with smoldering eyes.

I laugh despite myself.

" Are you sure?" He asks in the most sexy voice, he can muster.

" Yes I'm sure," I tell him.

" Well, your loss then." He shrugs and goes in the bathroom, leaving his phone by the nightstand with me.

As soon as the door closes behind him, I bound out of bed and grab his phone and sit on the bedroom chair with it.

I open the screen. Like it is usually, its locked and requires his finger print or password. I wonder why I never asked him to share all this with me, like the normal clingy she- wolves do, spying on everything their mates are doing. But what's done is done. I silently pray to succeed and try a few options but they are rejected. My heart is racing and my palms are sweaty.

I keep looking at the bathroom door, afraid he might jump out and catch me.

I take a deep breath and try his mother's name. Rejected.

My name. Rejected.

His birthday. Rejected.

My birthday. Rejected.

"Come on," I mutter.

The message where it is asked to wait before typing anything comes.

I am nervously bouncing my leg, while impatiently waiting for the longest ten seconds of my life to end.

I type something easy and silly, like password and 12345. Rejected.

I close my eyes. My chest is constricting with frustration and fear.

" Its Alpha1." My eyes fly open and he is standing over me, looking at me calmly. I nearly drop his phone, and can't help a squeal come out of my mouth.

I just closed my eyes for a second. How did he come out so quickly.

"I...I was just..." I stutter, unable to create an excuse.

" You were just spying on me." He completes my sentence. His voice is calm but there is something in it, that I start feeling that familiar fear.

"N-No, I-I was just..." I cant stop stuttering.

He is plotting to kill me eventually and I'm the one feeling like a criminal. I can't help thinking, trying to control my fear.

But it's there. Like a fire breathing dragon turning my insides to ash. No matter what I try to tell myself, I realize that I am deeply afraid of my mate.

"You were just....WHAT?" He suddenly yells, grabbing me by the hair. He is that monster again.

I drop his phone, trying to pull my hair free from his grasp. My eyes filling with tears.

" Matt... please." I choke on a sob.

" No... No, please look at my phone, and why don't you put a leash around my neck as you are at it." He loosens his grasp on my hair, unlocks it and throws it at my face.

It hits my nose and I almost stop breathing, doubling over in pain. My nose starts bleeding.

"NO... LOOK AT IT!!!" He yells, pulling on my hair again to get me to look up.

I continue sobbing helplessly.

My wolf is also scared into silence because I dont hear her.

He continues yelling for a minute and then finally, he leaves slamming the door with so much force behind him, that it almost breaks in half.

So, there it is. History repeating itself.

Why did I think, anything will be different?

How did I think I will be brave this time?

I'm a loser and a coward forever.

Everything is the same from the beating to the self hatred.

I don't know how long I cry staying in that position, my nose stops bleeding and I eventually fall asleep on the floor.

I wake up to the sound of him coming in. I silently cower but give no indication of waking up.

He smooths my hair, then brings a washcloth and wipes my bloodied face. I wince a little but keep my eyes closed.

He calls me, but I don't move. Then, he gently picks me up in his arms. I try not to jump keeping my eyes closed and my breathing even. He lays me on the bed covering me with the blanket.

I hear a rustling sound. He is taking off his clothes. The bed creaks and shifts as he climbs beside me. I try to stay calm. He turns towards me, placing a leg and arm over me, as he plants a kiss on my forehead.

" I love you." He whispers in my ear and then he places his head on my shoulder.

My heart is beating so loudly that I'm afraid he will hear me and guess that I am awake but he doesn't move further.

I try to stay still. It seems like ages when I hear his breathing even out and he starts snoring lightly.

I'm exploding with emotions. Anger, frustration, rage but the worst of it all is hopelessness.

" I can't change what I am. I can't escape my fate. I can't tell anyone about Matt, he is the golden boy and Alpha. He will succeed again. He will kill me." I tell myself.

Silent tears roll down my eyes.

Why was I brought back then? I ask no one in particular.

Why didn't I stay dead?

I feel all these thoughts piling up in me, And I feel like I might explode.

It seems like an infinity when Matt finally turns on the other side.

I wait, even breathing quietly. I can hear him snoring but I am too afraid to get up. I silently count to a hundred and then will myself to get up, looking at him the entire time.

I need to be away from him. I think urgently. I silently tiptoe out of bed. My eyes are already used to the dark. I take a deep, calming breath and silently make up way to the door, looking back occasionally to make sure he is sleeping. My heartbeat is rising by the second. All the hairs on my neck are standing, and I feel a constant chill down my spine. I look back at him again, my brain is creating images of him flying out of bed in wolf form, growling and seizing my neck in between his teeth.

Calm down, I tell myself and will myself to continue forward. I can't help but look back and my feet catch on something and I almost trip, about to fall face first. The floorboards squeak and I stumble stepping on something hard for a beat and jumping back, finally regaining my balance. I clamp my hands on my mouth and stay still, and look at Matt. He is fast sleep, thankfully. I bend down and feel with my hands, wanting to know what tripped me. It's his clothes. I am moving them out of the way when I feel something hard in his pocket. I take it out and my heart skips a beat. It's his phone.

I have to at least try. A voice inside me says.

I look at Matt again, and then I get up, and change my direction, moving towards the bathroom instead. I hope that if I get caught this time, I will manage to control my nerves and he won't suspect anything.

I silently move towards the bathroom, reaching it, finally letting out a breath as I lock the door.

My hand is gripping the phone tightly , afraid that it might escape and snitch on me.

With shaking hands, I turn on the phone, typing in the password he gave me this morning. It unlocks and I almost drop it. My insides are twisting with dread and excitement.

I am excited for my victory but I'm dreading what I might find. I go to his messages and... there is nothing. I notice that he hasn't received any messages from this morning. I check the call log. Whoever called him this morning is not listed there. The last call listed in his phone is to his friend, three days ago. The clever bastard wiped everything from his phone.

I am getting angry now. I badly want to confront him about this, and then.....say what? I think in the next second.

He will beat me up for spying on him again and I can't exactly prove anything.

I exit the bathroom, feeling a sinking hopelessness, again.

My wolf is clawing to get out to escape.

I can't escape my fate. I'm bound to die at his hand. The only way out is to be far away from him.

Yes, I think, with a renewed hope. It's the only way. I need to escape, and be away from all this.

I'm itching to turn and take off into the night.

I will beg, hunt and do anything to survive but I can't stand to be near him anymore.

I place his phone, besides his clothes, unable to place it exactly as I found it in this semi darkness and also because I can't stay here any longer.

I exit the cabin as silently as I can, and then start running towards the forest.

I turn into my wolf form, and race through the trees with the moonlight as my guide.

I jump over a broken tree, apparently struck by lightening. It's curved bark making an archand burnt completely black. I catch a whiff of wet and burnt wood as I jump over it. I continue running, trying to find a way out.

It's seems like hours but the trees extend as long as I can see. I keep running until.... I encounter a broken tree once again. It looks like a tree I jumped over.

What the heck, I think. Did I circle back or is this somehow exactly like the tree I left behind?

I continue running but that familiar tree comes into view, again.

I stop, trying to get my bearings, finally admitting that I may be running in circles. I choose a different direction to run towards, and that's when I hear a twig snap behind me.

I whip my head back, bearing my teeth but there is no one there. But I wonder if my eyes are playing a trick on me, because I feel a shadow slip behind a tree.

Fear, as cold as ice starts spreading through my body and freezes my muscles.

I'm being followed. I think.

I stay still looking at the tree, waiting for Matt to come out, snarling in his wolf form but he doesn't.

I'm just being paranoid, I tell myself and start running in the direction I chose. I keep checking behind me and even though I don't see anything, I can hear enough to know that I'm being followed.

I double my speed. There is clearly someone behind me now. I zigzag between trees but he is closing in.

I look back and see two glowing eyes, not far from me. I let out a yelp of fear.

It's Matt. He followed me here. He will kill me.

" You can't escape. Stop running." I hear his voice in my head.

My muscles are aching but I will myself to run. I can't stop now.

I have to get away.

I look back again. He is gaining on me.

Something slams in my forehead hard, and breaks.

I realize too late that I have slammed into that familiar broken tree. I whimper, my vision is blurring.

My body turns back to human form, as all the fight goes out of me.

My forehead is throbbing and my vision is quickly getting dark.

A shadow covers me. I squint my eyes and see a wolf standing over me.

His eyes are glowing red, and before I succumb to unconsciousness I realize that the voice I heard wasn't Matt's. Then, everything goes dark.