Phoenix

Chapter 9

Isabelle

I trail after Matt silently. I look back once to make sure that I didn't hallucinate all this. He is still there, hiding behind a tree.

I thought he was a part of my dream. A figment of my imagination.

That is, until I saw him today. He knows how I died. He knows that I came back. Somehow, he had a role in it. And apparently, he wants to find a way to save me.

I hear his reassuring thoughts. He seems concerned about me, and I nod my head to tell him that I am ok.

My husband seems oblivious to it all.

But all this seems highly unlikely, considering how cleverly my husband is handling all this.

I frown in disappointment as I think about it. He is walking ahead of me with his head bowed and his shoulders slumped. The bond I feel with him makes me want to comfort him, kiss him and erase his shame and misery.

But there is a part of me now, which reminds me that what happened wasn't my fault and he owes me guilt and shame, after hurting me for trivial things.

The rest of our honeymoon passes uneventfully. I keep looking out for that wolf to reappear but he never does, and Matt is so kind and attentive to me in these days that I can't help but start lowering my guard down, and also because I am a little afraid that too much avoidance on my part will make him suspicious.

Almost a week after we came here, Matt wakes me up one morning.

" Wake up," he sounds urgent.

I am dreaming of the day he killed me because when I open my eyes and see him looming over me, I give a small yelp, and almost fly out of bed.

He looks hurt for a moment but his expressions quickly change. He seems urgent and a bit anxious.

"We need to be back," His expression are a mix of concern and anxiety, and he is not meeting my eyes.

" Why? What is it?" My heart is involuntarily constricting with fear and concern.

" It's your father.... He..He is not doing so well." He says softly, while still not meeting my eyes.

And just like that, I feel as if someone has kicked me in the stomach. I forget to breathe for a second.

I remember I lost him a week after coming back from my honeymoon.

I am about to endure the loss of my father yet again. Having lived through it once makes it all the more worse, because suddenly it feels as if time is flying. I remember the exact minute of the day he dies, and the time I have left is just not enough.

I want to be with him. I remember him struggling to live, to breathe and my throat starts closing in. I want to scream until it rips open.

I climb out of bed and start packing. My heart is aching while my brain relives the whole nightmare, the agony of losing my father. Matt is whispering words of reassurance while occasionally rubbing my shoulders, but I tune him out. My movements are mechanical, and I am trying to shut down emotionally to save myself from breaking in half, all over again.

Despite my frantic attempts to hurry up, it feels like ages till we are set and ready to leave.

Matt is driving us back, and he holds my hand all the way back to our father's mansion. A big ball of tears lodges painfully in my throat at the sight of my house.

As soon as Matt stops the car, I yank open the car door and start walking towards the entrance, not being able to stand a minute without seeing my father.

Matt calls me from behind but I pretend not to hear him, and increase my pace.

In my haste, I don't see Violet, one of my friends, and bump into her, almost running her to the ground.

"Oh," She manages to say as she clutches both of my arms to regain her balance and then her eyes widen as she realizes that it's me.

" Isa.... You are back!!!!" She squeals.

"Oooh... Tell me everything. No, wait. Let me get the others. We are dying to get all the details. God, you look so pretty..." She continues to ramble on, while I am surprised into silence.

How can she be so excited about my honeymoon, while my father is on his deathbed?

And then it hits me. My father's illness is routine news to everyone. He has been like this for a long time, swinging between nearly dying and barely living.

Back then, I spent the last days of my father's life mostly surrounded by my friends, telling them about my perfect honeymoon and my perfect mate, while leaving out the slightly imperfect detail about Matt's physical abuse. I told no one and it eventually became a distant nightmare.

My father seemed desperate for my company. He would call me to him, wanting to tell me something but he was mostly delirious and would end up forgetting it. Matt was always there, and he would make sure that I was okay, and would comfort me with his presence, while I sat beside my father and watched him slowly wither away. He took care of everything, and he was the one who suggested that I spend most of my time with my friends until my father gets better and I am ashamed to say that I was a bit relieved to hear him say that.

Watching him like that made my heart heavy. I hastily agreed to wait until he got better.

So, when one day he never woke up, it seemed as if the world had come crashing down on me. I cried mostly out of guilt instead of sorrow, and the guilt of not being with him in his last days, weighed me down for months after he was gone, and Matt took charge of everything. It was in those days that people of both our packs came to trust him as their Alpha.

Another distant squeal snaps me out of my thoughts, I turn and watch Rebecca rushing towards me, but I am already turning on my heels and walking to my father's room.

I open the door and the first thing I notice is the smell. There is not a window open in the room, and the whole room is stuffed with stale air. It smells of disease, medicine and something familiar. I can't place the smell, but it feels oddly familiar. My father is alone in his room.

He is sitting up with his pillow's support, and looking out the window. His expressions seem sorrowful and hopeless, and he seems to have aged a lot in these past few days. His skin is sagging and his eyes have sunken into their sockets. My heart breaks a little, watching my father like this. I never saw him so weak, he always did his best to hide any sign of weakness from others and encouraged me to do the same.

I take a moment to swallow the ball of tears lodged in my throat, and then taking a deep breath, I enter his room and close the door behind me.

He looks towards me as the door clicks shut, and as soon as he sees me, his eyes brighten and he smiles.

"Emma.. I was wondering where you went? I was waiting for you, and I have something to tell you..."

It seems as if he has hit me. He is calling me by my mother's name. He thinks I am her.

" No daddy, it's me Isabelle. I am your daughter." I correct him in a trembling voice as I sit in the chair by his bed, and take his cold hands in mine.

He frowns, and leans a little towards me.

"Isabelle... oh yes right. I have something to tell you." He shakes his head slightly, and goes silent.

" Ok daddy, what is it?" I say in an encouraging voice, just wanting to hear his voice.

" Emma, I waited so long for you." He says again in a tearful voice. " You shouldn't have left me alone. I- I did my best but I failed. I ruined it all...." My father chokes out a sob.

" No you didn't... You were the perfect father and you did the best you could." I take his face in both of my hands,wanting to console him.

" Isa... you are here. You are back." My father suddenly says, forgetting to cry.

" Yes daddy, I came back just now, to see you." I am still holding his face as I lean in to kiss his forehead.

"No!" He pushes me back. I cry out in surprise as I nearly fall backwards.

" What are you doing here? Get out..." He yells, flailing his arms, nervously. Sweat is shining on his forehead, and he seems scared.

My strong father seems so vulnerable right then, that I can't help but try to give him a hug.

" Daddy..." I grip both of his arms, trying to still him enough to hug him but he suddenly pulls me close and whispers frantically in my ears.

" You need to run. He wants to kill us. He will kill you." I jump back in surprise. I look into his eyes and see that there is no trace of delirium. It's really him.

" Daddy, you know about---" I begin to ask him about Matt.

My heart thuds in my chest. My mind already forming a million questions but suddenly the door swings open, and in walks Matt with his father.

He sees my father gripping me and rushes to release me.

" Isa... Are you ok? Did he hurt you?" He looks me up and down.

But I remain silent as I watch my father closely. He has started rocking back and forth, mumbling something. His face blank and his eyes hollow now.

What did he mean? What does he know? Did I just imagine that he knows? I think, silently.

" My dear child, you shouldn't visit your father alone. He is not himself these days. Just this morning, he attacked his maid. The poor thing barely survived.," My father-in-law's voice is dripping with concern.

" LIAR!!!" My father roars suddenly, but my father-in-law just rubs his forehead irritably and sighs.

Two betas rush in, and try to restrain my father, while a third comes in and pokes a syringe in his arms.

My father who was ready to tear everyone to pieces immediately slows down, gibbering non- sense and within a minute, he is asleep.

I can't help but let out a sob.

My father-in-law looks towards my husband for help, who starts stroking my arm and says gently,

" Perhaps, it's best if you don't visit him until he gets better, hmm?"

" And my dear why don't we prepare for the ceremony, after all both of you take charge as Alpha and Luna today? It's what your father would have wanted as well." My father-in-law adds.

I let them escort me out of the room, but my mind is already wondering about what my father said.

***************************

The ceremony passes in a blur. It's over by evening and I am in a room surrounded by my friends, Violet and Rebecca.

Rebecca sighs dreamily.

" God, your life is just perfect." She says with a hint of envy in her voice.

I smile bitterly at this.

" What if I told you it's not?" I can't help but ask.

" What do you mean?" She asks, and inches a little closer and Violet scoots closer as well. Their expressions are more curious than concerned. Both are only looking for a juicy piece of gossip.

Did I ever make a true friend in my whole miserable, doomed life? I think to myself, glumly.

"Oh... Nothing." I say casually and shrug my shoulders. " What if I told you that Matt is actually a monster who abuses me and will kill me in the near future?"

Both of their jaws nearly hit the floor, as they stare at me in confusion and shock.

It takes a minute and then Rebecca lets out her high pitched laugh, and Violet follows.

Their laughter grates on my nerves but I force myself to smile.

" Gawwwd.... you nearly had us there. Oh my God, you are so funny. Joking with such a straight face." Violet manages to choke out in between laughing.

" But I am not." I tell them with a fake smile.

" Stoppp..." Rebecca is wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. " Now listen here, your crazy joke aside, you can try all you want but you will never convince any one of us that our perfect, handsome Alpha is a monster.... Just admit it, you're so very lucky."

My heart sinks as the smile stays frozen on my lips.

I look towards Matt as he stands by some betas, deeply engrossed in a political conversation. He holds their attention as he talks. Almost everyone around him looks ready to worship him.

My friends are right. No one will believe me.

********************************

Despair claws me from inside as I lie with Matt at night. He is sound asleep. I look at him, he looks so peaceful. And why wouldn't he be?

He has the packs' loyalty, their trust, and some secret ally who is carrying out some plot.

While here I am, with no real friends to confide in, a dying father and possibly no way of uncovering my husband's real motives. And oh let's not forget the cherry on top, I am doomed to die by his hand and I can't escape.

Suddenly, I can't take it anymore.

I get up and walk out of the mansion, walking towards the forest.

As I surround myself with trees, I take huge gulps of air, trying to calm myself down.

But I just can't. My hand is nervously tugging the necklace around my neck.

I pace a little, until it hits me.

The necklace.

I grasp it firmly between my hand, and think about the dark wolf.

I let myself think about his reassuring voice and how he looks formidable yet familiar. And he is possibly the only one who believes me.

I feel a sense of safety just by thinking about him, and despite my better judgement, I call to him.

I can't take this loneliness anymore. I need someone. A friend. Someone who can listen.

I keep calling him for a long time as tears roll down my cheeks.

But he doesn't come.

Maybe he won't come too. Maybe, he has abandoned me too.

I sit on the forest floor as I let myself cry.

I don't know how long I sit there, just crying. I stop eventually, feeling drained.

I get up willing myself to go back, when a twig snaps.

I start to call out to say that I am here thinking it's the black wolf, but it's Nora, my godmother. I recognize her scent.

I didn't see her ever since I came back from my honeymoon, and I realize she wasn't at the ceremony, either.

She doesn't see me in the dark and keeps hurrying to wherever she is going.

Her heavy breathing tells me that she is nervous.

My wolf growls uneasily. There is something suspicious about the way, she is scurrying off somewhere.

I start to follow her instinctively, trying not to make a sound.

I follow her to a small clearing in the forest, trying to keep a safe distance.

There is a cloaked figure standing there, already waiting for her.

" What took you so long?" The person asks irritably. It's a female voice, and it sounds oddly familiar.

I try to catch a glimpse of her face but it's well hidden.

" I-I got held up.... Sorry. But it's done just as you asked. No one will know. And here, I got what you asked." Nora seems nervous and afraid as she hands a small package to the woman.

" Good." That woman responds, taking it.

My guts twist with unease.

Nora keeps standing there.

" Now that I-I have done what you asked... how-how about you hold your end of the bargain? My husband and I were promised to keep our position as second in command, but it was just given to Tyler and Leah. I am sure it was a mistake." Nora says.

" Oh that .....we have changed our mind about that. We agreed that it's not the best idea to keep traitors in power. After all once a traitor, always a traitor." The woman says with disgust and she turns to leave.

" You- You can't do this," Nora yells, suddenly furiously and grips the woman's cloak from behind.

The cloak falls off and my stomach turns to stone.

It's that same woman. The woman in red.

Her eyes glow green as her lips twist in fury. She grips Nora by the throat, choking her.

" Actually, I can do whatever I want. Like, kill you right here and blame it on your coward husband." Nora's face turns purplish and she tries to free herself as her eyes bug out.

I am about to intervene when that woman releases Nora and she falls backwards, coughing and gasping for air.

That woman takes a deep breath to calm herself as her eyes stop glowing.

" There is just one last thing for you to do. After that is done, you and your husband are to leave, never to return. The only thing you can get out of the bargain is living the rest of your miserable life." She spits out and leaves, vanishing into the dark forest.

I can't make my presence known, so I restrain myself from following her.

Nora gets up after a while and starts walking towards the direction of her house.

I want to follow her but I am shaking badly. She is in on it too.

My godmother. The one who raised me like her own. I had no mother and they had no children. So, I thought we completed each other.

I let myself slide to the forest floor, my legs giving way. Someone nudges my back. I whirl around in a panic, and find a pair of glowing red eye watching me with concern.

He is finally here. I think as I let go of all the restraints holding me together.

I throw my arms around the black wolf, burying my face in his soft fur, as fresh tears spring to my eyes, and fall apart.