Phoenix

Chapter 5

Isabelle

I feel myself float towards the forest. My body a silvery form, now. There is a bright light ahead. I feel nothing. No pain, no feelings. I am free.

The white light seems inviting. Calling me. And I yearn to go there, and be at peace.

My silvery, translucent robes catch on something. I have to stop. I look back at the sound of an animal whining, and see a dark animal is clutching my dress in between it's teeth.

It's a huge, muscular black wolf towering to just above my shoulder, with blazing red eyes, flecked with black. It looks terrifying but there is an intensity to his eyes, and so much pain and sorrow. For some reason, I feel a sense of safety and familiarity.

" Don't go," It pleads, his mouth is still closed around a part of my dress. I can hear him think. He must be a werewolf. I try to yank myself free but it doesn't let go.

The white light ahead begins to dim.

"Stay," It says again.

There is something that beckons me to that wolf. I open my mouth to ask him who he is, when that white lights dims further and completely disappears.

As soon as it vanishes, the calmness I was feeling evaporates, and all the memories come rushing back.

Matt, that woman, betrayal .... murder. I snarl in anger as it all comes back to me.

I turn and start moving back towards the mansion now but that wolf stops me, again.

" Be with me," It says, and that's when I recognize the intensity with which he is looking at me. Like I'm the moon on a dark night. The sun to his world. The reason for his life. Like... like I looked at Matt, once.

But my heart feels cold, and heavy. Like it's been transformed into stone. The only thing I feel is hatred. Towards Matt.

I look at him and feel nothing.

I pull from his grasp, with all the rage and fury I feel, finally yanking myself free. I have to go back. I have to get my revenge.

"Look for me when you feel lost. I will always be near you. I will always wait for you." He calls behind me.

But I'm already walking back.

****************************

I wake up to the sound of someone rapping sharply on my door.

Sunlight is streaming from my bedside window. I squint against the bright light, and rub the sleep from my eyes.

As my eyes adjust to the light, I recognize the room I'm in. I am back in my room, in my father's house.

Was it all a dream?

Someone knocks on the door, more loudly this time.

"Isa... Wake up!" It's my father's voice, sounding a bit annoyed.

How? I think surprised.

He died ten days after my wedding, and stepped down as the Alpha as soon as I got back from my honeymoon.

How is he here?

Am I in heaven? I died too, I think.

But still, there is a sense of deja-vu to it all. I just can't place it.

"Is she still sleeping?" I hear Aunt Nora's anxious voice. Wife and mate of my father's second in command beta, and my godmother. Actually, the only mother I ever knew.

What is happening? My mind is swimming with questions.

But before I can think any further, the door bursts open and she enters like a bullet released from a gun. My bridal gown fluttering in her hands. My father and my friends from the pack enter.

" Honey, you have got to start getting ready. The ceremony is about to start in two hours," Aunt Nora is looking at my dishevelled hair and sleepy face with dismay and barely concealed panic. My friends match her expressions, while my father looks disappointed as usual.

Ceremony? My heart pounds.

What is happening?

" But...." I open my mouth to say.

" No buts.... shower. Now!" Aunt Nora pulls me from the bed and tries to push me towards the direction of the bathroom.

I turn. This feels too surreal.

Is it a dream within a dream?

I discreetly pinch my forearm. Hard. Still here. So, I guess not a dream, then.

What did I say when Aunt Nora said this to me?

I rack my brain.

Oh yes ...

I turn towards her and say, " I am so nervous." My voice does not have the same timidness it had then, but Aunt Nora's expressions soften.

" Oh my child, it's only natural to feel this way. Today is a very important and special day for you. But trust me, everything is going to be fine," She walks towards me and hold both of my hands firmly. Her hands are warm, reassuring and..... real. Her words echoing everything I remember her saying.

" The trick is to look at it, one step at a time." She pats my hand. " Now step one, you go and shower....hmmm.Try to make it quick and then Rebecca here would help with your makeup and hair." And as if remembering it suddenly, she says, " Oh and happy eighteenth birthday, my dear child."

My friend, Rebecca, who is also my bridesmaid smiles at me, reassuringly, and both my friends wish me a happy birthday.

My father has already left.

I can't help a sickening feeling spread to my guts.

I move mechanically out of the room and into the bathroom.

I remove my clothes, open the shower and stand underneath it numbly.

Am I in hell? It seems like the only logical explanation.

Because I remember living through it all and..... and dying. I touch my chest where I was stabbed.

The skin is smooth and spotless.

There is no explanation for it all.

My wolf whimpers, uneasily.

It's the first time I heard her, ever since waking up.

"You have seen all this before, right?" I ask her but she is confused like me.

I remember Aunt Nora's words.....one step at a time.

I guess the only way out is through.

I take a deep breath and step out of the shower and, into a bathrobe already hanging by a hook.

I go through the familiar motions and get ready for my marriage and mating ceremony with Matt.

Everything goes as I remember it.

Rebecca ties my hair in a braided bun, adorned with small white flowers.Curled strands of auburn hair frame my face.

She is also chattering non-stop and telling me how absolutely lucky I am, and asking me about Matt and if I am excited for the mate bond. She doesn't care to hear my answer in her excitement.

My other friend Violet is also nodding her head in agreement mostly because it's impossible to get a word in, when Rebecca gets super excited and chatty. She is helping her in getting me ready.

Nora has gone to see to the arrangements, fussing over everything. I can see her running around from the large windows of my bedroom.

I hear her scolding an omega for arranging a lop-sided arbor, calling it a....

"... disgrace to the whole pack." I silently mutter because I remember her saying it.

After about an hour, I feel a royal siren and announcement. I can't make out the words but I remember the King is also attending our wedding.

" You must be feeling so lucky." Rebecca states for a thousandth time.

" I just feel nervous," I repeat my words, truthfully.

I found Rebecca's enthusiasm a bit overwhelming then, and it is now as well.

My brain can't stop working to find a possible explanation.

Finally, I'm set and ready, and both my friends help me into my bridal gown. I remember wearing this too.

It's my mother's. It's a traditional off-white full sleeve silk gown, with an off the shoulder neckline, its bodice cinched under the breasts all the way to the waist, embellished with crystals and silver embroidery, falling straight down in front and then continuing in a long trail on the back.

My friends get teary eyed, and I turn to look into the mirror.

I have seen myself in this dress but I still can't help but be taken aback by how I look. I look radiant. Like the moon itself. Like the princesses I read about. I have heard people call me pretty, beautiful, and gorgeous. But it's the first time, I truly believe every word.

I am still looking when Nora bursts into the room. I look at her.

" Girls, the Royals have arrived.... what's taking so...." She trails off as her eyes take me in.

Her face turns red and her eyes fill with tears.

" You look.." She chokes out, " like a queen."

I smile.

My father enters and seeing me has the same effect on him. He clears his throat, and looks down.

Like I think I did before, I walk towards him and wrap him in a hug. He pats my arm. We stay embraced in each others arms like this for a while, both feeling a bit awkward and unsure of what to do next.

I remember this was the first time when I initiated a hug with my father.

Usually, he is too distant and too proud for all that.

My father clears his throat again, and the spell breaks.

He backs away from the hug and still looking down, says in a gruff voice.

"It's time, Isabelle."

I take a breath.

Here goes, I think.

I take his arm. With my bridesmaids straightening my train and walking behind me, I exit my room into our mansion's grounds where the whole ceremony is set up to take place.

As soon as I reach the flowery walkway leading to Matt, I am hit with a most delicious smell.

"Mate," My wolf calls.

Matt is looking at me, and it's like I have suddenly woken up and seen him for the first time. I can't help but gasp.

He is so beautiful and my heart is almost about to burst with all the love I'm feeling for him. He smiles and nods his head knowingly.

I'm gripping my father's arm too tightly. But he just silently continues leading me towards Matt. Thank God, I have him to hold on to, because my legs feel liquid, right now.

And I'm almost dizzy with all the emotions I am feeling for Matt.

My eyes roam his whole body hungrily.

He is the most beautiful creature, on this planet. I look around and wonder in surprise, that how can anyone stand to look at him, and not fall in love.

Even though I remember going through this too, I forget my sense of déjà vu, just by looking at him.

It feels like ages when I finally reach him. He holds my hands and electricity runs through me at his touch. I feel it everywhere.

I wonder how would it feel with his whole body touching me, and when he... STOP! I try to distract myself from a certain inviting image and bite my lips firmly.

But when I look at Matt, there is a smirk on his face and a naughty glint to his eyes. I blush.

He must have read my thoughts from my face.

The priest presiding over the ceremony, the oldest of our pack, clears his throat and begins.

" We are gathered here today, to celebrate the holy matrimony of Matthew Albert Cooper and Isabelle Eva de Luca, soon to be the Alpha and Luna of our joint pack."

All the wolves in attendance cheer.

He continues on towards the vows, his voice trembling with age. When he turns towards Matt and says,

"...till death do you part." I can't help a chill running through my whole body.

But Matt gives me a warm smile and says, "I do."

There is so much love in his eyes that I forget everything.

After our vows, it's time for us to kiss.

He bends my whole body back in his arms and leans in to kiss me. The kiss is soft at first but quickly deepens. We are so lost in each other, that when a glass breaks loudly, I gasp and almost fall back.

Matt catches me and we both straighten.

I look towards the sound.

My aunt is signalling for an omega, while hastily picking up the pieces.

" Oh be careful, your Highness...." she is saying.

I don't remember this happening.

My eyes move up from my godmother to the person sitting on the chair, dressed in an expensive black dress pants with faint grey lines, a white button down shirt hugging his muscular form and his black tuxedo draped around his broad shoulders. He is wearing a navy blue tie, and there is a golden wolf-like brooch shining from it, with rubies embedded in his eyes. The sign of a royal.

My heart is thudding loudly in my chest, as my eyes trail his chiseled jaw, full, red lips pursed in disapproval, a sharp arrogant nose, high cheekbones and deep coal black eyes blazing with barely concealed fury..... and something else I can't place. It's Prince Keiran.

I don't remember him coming to my wedding ceremony.

I can't help but feel a sense of familiarity watching those eyes. Memories start trickling in my brain again.

I blink and realize for the first time why I am here. I see a quick flashback of the life I lived.

I am here for revenge. I am here to get my justice.

I look back at Matt, my previous feelings about him already dimming as his betrayal opens a throbbing wound in my heart. He bends to bite my bare shoulder. Marking me as his mate.

All around, everyone cheers and claps.

I know now that I have to relive it all to set it right.

And time is running out.