The Lost Wolf

Chapter 4

AVA’S POV

            “Hey there love,” I hear as Alex breaks through my distracted thoughts.  “You seem to be in your own space tonight.”

            “I am so sorry; I just have a lot on my mind today.  What were you saying again?”

            “I was hoping that you would join me for a special dinner tomorrow night.”

            “Of course, I would love to.  Do you want to go to our favorite hamburger joint in town?”

            “I was actually thinking of a romantic dinner at Giovanni’s,” he says as he embraces me in his arms.

            “Sounds lovely,” I respond back relaxing my body within his.  Ever since that night in the woods, I have been feeling distant from Alex.  I have not been able to get the strangers striking blue eyes out of my mind and the intense stare that broke through all barriers within me.

            “Is there something you would like to talk about.  You really seem to be out of it lately?  Is something bothering you.”

            “Everything is just great,” I say as I lay my head on his shoulder. “Work has just been a little busy and I’m just tired.”

            I know Alex is still talking to me, but my mind is elsewhere.  A piece of me has awoken which has felt like has been asleep for much of my life.

            I slowly begin to drift to sleep as we lay wrapped together watching a movie together.  It’s a dream which I have not had since I was a young child.  One of a family, but they are confused and lost trying to find someone.  I’m not sure who they are though, but a piece of me feels as if I know them.

            Something new has happened in my dream tonight though; they are no longer human, but wolves.  It feels as if they are staring within my soul in my dream.  Reaching out and waiting for me.

            I try to grasp for them but no matter how hard I try, I can’t grip on to them and I feel myself being pulled further away.

            Suddenly, I gasp awake.  Luckily, I didn’t wake up Alex who had fallen asleep next to me on the couch.  I try to get back to sleep, but it has brought so many confused and mixed emotions within me.  I lay their quietly and hope to fall back to sleep soon, but I just don’t think that’s possible with all the thoughts going through my head.  What has brought this dream back, and what does it mean?  Is it just because of the werewolf I saw in the woods or is there some deeper meaning that I don’t quite understand?

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            “Do you like this red dress or do you think I should stick with the black spaghetti strap dress?” I ask Kristen.  Alex and I don’t go to fancy restaurants that often, and I want to look beautiful for him tonight.  I feel like I have been in my own mind lately, and I really want to make up for my lost moments lately for him.

            “I think he will love the black dress.  You look beautiful and sexy in that one.”

            “You think?!”

            As I finish slipping on my dress, I hear Alex sidle up beside me.  “You look beautiful,” he says as he kisses the side of my neck and cradles me within his arms.

            “Hey love, I didn’t hear you come in.  I am just about ready,” I say as I grab my purse.  “I am looking forward to this night with you.  And I promise, my focus will be completely on you tonight.”

            “It is going to be an amazing night having you to myself,” he states as he grabs my hand as we head out the door. 

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            Alex has outdone himself with his choice of restaurant.  The food is amazing, and I feel extra special tonight with his love and attention.  Although, I do feel guilty with my lack of attention I have been giving him lately, but I plan on making that up to him. 

            “Would you like to take a stroll on the beach?” he says as we finish our dessert.

            “It is a beautiful night.  I would love to.”

            As we make our way outside, I feel the breeze gently graze against my skin.  The stars and moon are bright, and it makes me feel completely at peace.  Alex hooks his arms around my waist and gently guides me down the boardwalk. 

            As I’m staring over the swaying ocean, I notice how quiet Alex is beside me so I slowly turn towards him when I notice.  He is down on one knee, proposing.  Oh my goodness, I did not expect this.

            “Will you marry me Ava?  I know my life will never be complete without you beside me to share it.”

            “Of course..I mean yes.”  I stammer as I jump into his arms.

            At that moment, I see him staring at us.  The stranger from the woods.  He looks angry though.  I divert my eyes from him, as I feel a voice within me telling me “No.”  I feel a pain within me as if I am hurting the stranger from the woods.  I try to ignore these feelings and turn my attention to Alex.  But as I do, a piece of me feels as if it is breaking and I am defying what is right for me.

            This all feels wrong.  This should be the happiest part of my life, and something I have been hoping for a long time.  But why does it feel wrong.  I push those feelings aside and wrap my arms within Alex and try to feel the happiness in which I feel I should be feeling.  He has loved me since we were kids, and I will not hurt him. 

            He is my future, and no one else. I don’t even know this stranger.  I couldn’t have feelings for anyone besides Alex.